Thanksgiving pie-how to be honest with a guest - Page 5

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

Do not tell her no one likes her chiffon pie. It may lead to an unnecessary argument.

Do not make a pumpkin pie. She will see it as deliberately competing with her pie and blame you when no one wants hers.

Make the apple, pecan or both that you requested she bring. If she comments, tell her that you had been looking forward to pecan pie which is the reason you requested she bring it instead of the pumpkin.

mustang66lady · ‎03-10-2010

I have hosted all the holiday dinners at my house for at least 30 years. My SIL and her DM used to aruge over what they would bring to add to the next holiday dinner. My DM and I would just roll our eyes and tell them to bring what they wanted. One year after my DM was too fraile to really contribute to our meals any longer, I decided i would assign something specific for my SIL and her DM to each bring. One was to bring mashed potatoes and the other a salad. When Thanksgiving came, one brought a tray of veggies and dip she picked up from the grocery store and the other brought a crystal bowl of strawberries! While the tray of veggies and one container of dip was ok instead of salad, there was no way strawberries could be substituted for mashed potatoes. From that point on, I make the meal and tell them to bring what they want. Lesson learned and really became a lot less stressful for me. You do you on Thanksgiving and be happy to be with your family and friends. Let your sister deal with her pie.

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

It is PIE fir gosh sakes! Let her bring it....

go buy a d*** apple pie.

Geezz lets make a big deal over nothing!

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

What's a big deal to one is nothing to another. Food is a big deal to me along with a myriad of other things.

JYWilliams · ‎03-10-2010

Since she likes the pie let her bring it but I would also have that pecan or apple pie on the table to.

tsavorite · ‎03-09-2010

@mustang66lady wrote:
I have hosted all the holiday dinners at my house for at least 30 years. My SIL and her DM used to aruge over what they would bring to add to the next holiday dinner. My DM and I would just roll our eyes and tell them to bring what they wanted. One year after my DM was too fraile to really contribute to our meals any longer, I decided i would assign something specific for my SIL and her DM to each bring. One was to bring mashed potatoes and the other a salad. When Thanksgiving came, one brought a tray of veggies and dip she picked up from the grocery store and the other brought a crystal bowl of strawberries! While the tray of veggies and one container of dip was ok instead of salad, there was no way strawberries could be substituted for mashed potatoes. From that point on, I make the meal and tell them to bring what they want. Lesson learned and really became a lot less stressful for me. You do you on Thanksgiving and be happy to be with your family and friends. Let your sister deal with her pie.

After reading this post I am thinking they did it on purpose so they could get out of bringing anything specific or at all! I mean seriously who does that? I don't blame you for just making it all yourself...not worth the PITA!

To the OP ....since you already asked your sister if she would be willing to make a different pie for the holiday and she said NO...I wouldn't bring it up again. I would make the pies I wanted there and if her pie is not eaten except by her or her family again don't say a word....but make sure she takes her pie home. If she tries to leave it at your home then tell her "it would go to waste as none of us like chiffon pie" . That's it...done. And from now on just make the traditional pumpkin, apple and pecan pies.

This way the issue is solved.

mustang66lady · ‎03-10-2010

@tsavorite

My DM and I always knew that neither my SIL or her DM liked to cook. But the fussing the two of them stirred up at each dinner multiple times yearly got to me when my Mom could no longer help and I was working full time, raising 3 daughters and had the load of all family dinners, which I do enjoy doing. I guess I just threw the gauntlet down that year to end the fussing, which it did when they realized that there were no potatoes for the gravy! We ate a lot of dressing that year. I just decide what my menu for a holiday is going to be, and I make it. If someone asks to contribute, I tell them to bring what they want. I have had appetizers, desserts, drinks, and side dishes. But the main core of the meal is always there! AND no more fussing at our holiday dinners!

tsavorite · ‎03-09-2010

@mustang66lady I totally get that! As the hostess not having all the basic menu items there would be WAY to stressful and upsetting to me too!

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@petepetey I don't see a problem here. No problem AT ALL! Make a pumpkin pie you like and any other desserts YOU like, and if nobody eats hers, no problem. Send it home with her or dump it out after she leaves. Where is the problem here?

If people eat it to be polite, it's their problem NOT yours.

Why are you worried about any of this? Make what you want and let her do what she wants and do NOT eat a bite of hers. If she asks why you didn't, say, in a firm and not quivering voice "I don't like chiffon pumpkin pie."

No foul, no heartburn, no angst, no worries! Just DO it!

One Christmas mother made six pies and two cakes for six people. We ate what we wanted, snacked for a couple of days on them and threw out the rest. We didn't monitor what was eaten and not eaten.