Community Chat

[Jordan2]

@JenJenMO1971 you should do what is right for you. You are very fortunate to have friends who invite you and want you spend the holidays with them. There are many people who find the time between Thanksgiving to New Years, very lonely and sad.

[SharkE]

good advice !

[NYC Susan]

Starting your own traditions is a great idea!  

I would, however, not advise going from house to house for Thanksgiving this year.  This isn't the time to be exposing anyone to more people than necessary.  Keeping things small is definitely better.

I think a lot of people will be starting new traditions this year, even if not intentional. Keeping things small and less hectic might end up being something they'll choose to continue in the years ahead.

[SurferWife]

@JenJenMO1971 

Spend the holidays the way you want to, not the way anyone else wants you to.

[Gorgf]

I have been totally alone since 2003 for ALL Holidays. The first year was difficult and I went to a Community Meal but felt sad at seeing families there.

That being ,I decided to do what I wanted. That is a positive not to be obligated to go to someone else 's home even  during normal times. My best GF sometimes has Holidays at her home and sometimes not as goes to her son's home. One year we went out to a restaurant for Thanksgiving . One year I cooked a turkey breast and had a single male handyman over who has a disjointed family. He sees them but doesn't eat with them. There are options. You are not obligated.

I don't have fighting and overindulging of alcohol to put up with. I have a cousin who says he hates Christmas as this happens with his kids. There are positives to solo Holidays.

Your friends just want to be kind and supportive but you can have other plans. How very thoughtful they all invite you.  They will in time realize you are o.k. and doing what is good for you. It  gets better. Sometimes I enjoy the peace and enjoy my own company alone with my two dogs. I do something special just for me.

I hope in a small way this helps. Welcome to the boards.

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[FiddleDeeDee]

@JenJenMO1971   I think it's a brilliant idea.

We've always had an "open door" policy for Thanksgiving and Christmas; those who have no place to go and WANT to go somewhere for the holiday are welcome to dine/share the day with us. We've done this since we we became a couple because both sets of our parents did the same thing growing up. Often there are co-workers who just moved here or can't get back home for the holiday or a neighbor who is now widow or widower or maybe just moved to the area...who knows. But if they wanted a place to go, our home was theirs.

My dearest BFF lost her mother on Thanksgiving Day. Obviously the date changes each year but Thanksgiving Day is very tough on her. She is alone, has no family and now faces serious health concerns....she is also back in MD. In the past she would stop by for dessert or come by while I was cooking because the whole family meal thing was too much for the same reason as you stated: memories. I understood and supported her. THIS year she is going to make the dinner for just her and her cat (Miss Rosey) and place her laptop on her table and ZOOM with us during dinner when we eat. We will also have the grandparents doing this so she will be seeing and hearing them and they, her.  A new tradition has been born!!

You do whatever it is that you will enjoy. Maybe a Swanson Turkey TV dinner and a movie (I love those Swanson Turkey meals) at home with a homemade dessert to follow. Maybe a drive in the country and staying at a quiet Inn (if COVID numbers are down). Maybe you make the dinner of YOUR choice (lobster, anyone?) and pamper yourself with a mask and do your nails afterwards. Whatever YOU choose to do, is perfect for YOU. Hugs!

[Sooner]

In reality if you are alive it is another chance to have a good day.

It is a holiday in our minds, but in reality another day to be blessed to be alive.  So if you are alone, either think about it's Thanksgiving and I'm alone or do something you enjoy.

Why waste time being sad?  I know it may not be easy, but I am pointing out in reality you DO have a choice. Give yourself a day off, eat something you really like (not turkey) but hardly ever have, watch a movie, wear your nightie all day if you want. . . whatever makes you happy.

[depglass]

There is a pandemic going on.  Skip the "dropping by" this year. Do you watch the news?  If not, please start.  I can't even believe I read this.  

[faeriemoon]

I agree with those who have said to not pressure yourself into doing something you don't want to do.

I also agree with those who urge you to skip the "drop by" part of the equation this year.  Aside from it not being a good idea for your own health, what about the guests at the houses you would visit who will be expecting a small itimate affair with only close family they know to be healthy?

[JenJenMO1971]

I decided that I am going to skip the dropping by friend's houses this year and just stay home with my sweet dog. In future years, I plan to open up my home on Thanksgiving and Christmas to people who have nowhere to go.

Thank you everyine for your input. I really appreciate it.