Community Chat

[Pook]

Not so in the older generation in our family.  The women have all been lucky (including me) to have men who cook and do a lot of the cleanup!! 

[Noel7]

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@Annabellethecat66 wrote:

I'm answering for my daughter (she's 44, does that count)?

My son-in-law (and his Dad) clean up and they also assist my daughter in whatever preparation she asks them to do.  My son-in-law irons his own clothes, loves to grocery shop and on and on.  He's amazing!

My daughter is a stay-at-home mom.  They have 4 children in 4 different schools.  He owns his own computer company and she manages the entire thing.  It works perfectly for them.

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Oh yea, @Annabellethecat66 IMO 44 counts, it's not my generation, for sure, lol.

Your SIL is wonderful   My husband had been in the military and routinely ironed and mad the bed with tight corners, happy me.  He likes to grocery shop too.  We go together, he also goes with our daughter.

Nice to hear about your daughter's arrangement

[kcladyz]

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@kcladyz wrote:

My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997  when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice.  She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and  say a bunch of false things  as an act of revenge,  Since then I done  the holidays alone and I am ok with it.  I hated doing all the cooking  for my exhusbands famly  without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too  cook and I was treated with hostility  for I was too weak to cook.  

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it.  They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

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@kcladyz wrote:

My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997  when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice.  She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and  say a bunch of false things  as an act of revenge,  Since then I done  the holidays alone and I am ok with it.  I hated doing all the cooking  for my exhusbands famly  without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too  cook and I was treated with hostility  for I was too weak to cook.  

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it.  They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

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Whoa, @kcladyz  That stepmother was a wicked one.  I hope you pamper yourself on Thanksgiving, you deserve it.

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Ya she was. She turned my father and my siblings against me.  When I was in college she had my father cancel my tuition and  my dorm room and board as soon as they got married and I did not even know her. I like maybe met her twice at that point.  I have no idea why she hated me. So the past 25 years  he only talks to me via email for thats the only way he can talk to me without her finding out, I am 48 and have not been invited home for the holidays since 1991

[kcladyz]

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@kcladyz wrote:

My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997  when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice.  She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and  say a bunch of false things  as an act of revenge,  Since then I done  the holidays alone and I am ok with it.  I hated doing all the cooking  for my exhusbands famly  without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too  cook and I was treated with hostility  for I was too weak to cook.  

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it.  They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

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@kcladyz wrote:

My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997  when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice.  She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and  say a bunch of false things  as an act of revenge,  Since then I done  the holidays alone and I am ok with it.  I hated doing all the cooking  for my exhusbands famly  without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too  cook and I was treated with hostility  for I was too weak to cook.  

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it.  They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

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Whoa, @kcladyz  That stepmother was a wicked one.  I hope you pamper yourself on Thanksgiving, you deserve it.

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Ya she was. She turned my father and my siblings against me.  When I was in college she had my father cancel my tuition and  my dorm room and board as soon as they got married and I did not even know her. I like maybe met her twice at that point.  I have no idea why she hated me. So the past 25 years  he only talks to me via email for thats the only way he can talk to me without her finding out, I am 48 and have not been invited home for the holidays since I was 21 years old. He had a heat attack and almost died  last year and noone called me. I found out 6 months after the fact by pure accident

[Noel7]

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@BirdieGal wrote:

My husband is 63 years old. I am 50. 

He has always helped with prep if I need it. Kids help too.

When Dinner is over, I am ushered into the living room, glass of wine ( or whatever I want) to relax while the family clears and does the dishes and packs away all the food.

After tummies settle they all have dessert. Not me. I just make them. Then we watch CHRISTMAS VACATION!

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That's a nice tradition @BirdieGal 

[Noel7]

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@Kitlynn wrote:

I am not the younger generation but our daughter is. When we have a holiday meal it is myself, my husband and our grown daughter doing the fixing of everything and the cleaning up. We have a great system and it doesn't take us anytime to get it done. We do it as a family. For normal meals it is my husband and I. We share the work and when our daughter comes she pitches in and we do when we go to her house. Works for us as we always think of it as family time.

That's how we do it, too @Kitlynn

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[Noel7]

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@Pook wrote:

Not so in the older generation in our family.  The women have all been lucky (including me) to have men who cook and do a lot of the cleanup!! 

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@Pook

I confused you with someone else at first, I apologize.

You all have been lucky!  My father's generation, at least those I knew, never did much of anything.

[Noel7]

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@kcladyz wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@kcladyz wrote:

My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997  when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice.  She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and  say a bunch of false things  as an act of revenge,  Since then I done  the holidays alone and I am ok with it.  I hated doing all the cooking  for my exhusbands famly  without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too  cook and I was treated with hostility  for I was too weak to cook.  

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it.  They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

---

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@kcladyz wrote:

My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997  when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice.  She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and  say a bunch of false things  as an act of revenge,  Since then I done  the holidays alone and I am ok with it.  I hated doing all the cooking  for my exhusbands famly  without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too  cook and I was treated with hostility  for I was too weak to cook.  

As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it.  They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it

---

Whoa, @kcladyz  That stepmother was a wicked one.  I hope you pamper yourself on Thanksgiving, you deserve it.

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Ya she was. She turned my father and my siblings against me.  When I was in college she had my father cancel my tuition and  my dorm room and board as soon as they got married and I did not even know her. I like maybe met her twice at that point.  I have no idea why she hated me. So the past 25 years  he only talks to me via email for thats the only way he can talk to me without her finding out, I am 48 and have not been invited home for the holidays since 1991

I am so sorry @kcladyz  She must be very insecure and jealous, not to mention a real nasty person. 

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[Annabellethecat66]

My daughter still grocery shops some but he REALLY likes to go.

They have very active children in a lot of things and they split up who's going where.

It's amazing the things they have to do that my late husband and I didn't.  We were very hands on too, but it was a different time.

It helps that my son-in-law knows everything about computers, etc and they have rules about movies, etc.  

We did that too.  We started out from the beginning and if you make sure the rules are understood.....no trouble.  

I was a stay-at-home mom and so is my other married daughter.  My daughters are like me.  I loved to mow the lawn, work outside, paint, you name it, I did it.  

That said, I used to host these enormous Thanksgiving and sometimes Christmas (July, Father's Day) because my late husband loved doing it.  We'd have as many as 55-60 people at our house for Thanksgiving.  I did all of it.  I did not clean it up.  My sister-in-law and a few other's cleaned it up.

I didn't mind it because my husband loved doing it so much.  He did zip preparing for it.  Ha!  Funny story real quick....so once to get him out of my hair I said, "Honey!  Please go outside and clean off the lawn chairs for the 4th of July party".  So he was so proud of himself...comes in, so happy.

Everyone comes, friends, neighbors, everyone.  Suddenly someone says to a neighbor (a good friend of mine), "Joy!  What's that on your shorts?  You have big white stripes across the butt".  

It seems like my husband used bleach to clean the lawn hairs (which were white bands across the seats).  She probably sweat or could have gotten the seat wet with the water balloons.....the bleach turned her green shorts white stripes.  We still joke about those shorts.  She always said, "Tell your husband he owes me a pair of shorts".

From then on he was only allowed to clean with a little soap and water!