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10-23-2017 07:07 PM
Is there still a division of labor on Thanksgiving where women do the cooking and clean up and men watch football?
How do you and your friends handle it?
When I was a kid, my mother and aunts did all the cooking, set the table and did clean up. The uncles and my father watched football. After dinner, my aunts would call me in to the kitchen and show me how to clear plates. I remember thinking it was unfair because all my cousins were boys with the freedom of playing outside.
10-23-2017 07:13 PM
@Noel7 no different than any other day expect more food and plates. I've never, ever seen a man help with cleanup. No, it's not fair.
10-23-2017 07:19 PM
@makena wrote:@Noel7 no different than any other day expect more food and plates. I've never, ever seen a man help with cleanup. No, it's not fair.
I was looking at the title of a post here asking if things had changed. I'd been thinking about Thanksgiving and wondered.
I've mentioned before that DH and I split cooking and cleaning since we got married, still do. My daughter's Italian Godfather used to do all the cooking in his house.
Since we are older now, we've gotten together with my childhood friend for years. She tells everyone to get up and clear, men also bring food.
10-23-2017 07:19 PM
My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.
As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it
10-23-2017 07:20 PM
Not so in our family.
Come to my house, men will greet you, take your coats and offer you a drink. Yes, women in the kitchen....where we klatch. Happily.
After dinner the guys proudly help clear the table and stack the dishwasher.
In my BIL & SIL's home, much the same. Men still pitch in.
10-23-2017 07:24 PM
@kcladyz wrote:My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.
As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it
@kcladyz wrote:My stepmother had me cut off from my father back in 1997 when she sided with my exhusband in our devorice. She only met him once and he took it upon himself to call her and say a bunch of false things as an act of revenge, Since then I done the holidays alone and I am ok with it. I hated doing all the cooking for my exhusbands famly without even a thank you. I remember one thanksgiving I was way too sick too cook and I was treated with hostility for I was too weak to cook.
As a child a few times we bought dinner from a local restaurant. Grocery stores also do it. They precook it all and you just pick up and pay for it
Whoa, @kcladyz That stepmother was a wicked one. I hope you pamper yourself on Thanksgiving, you deserve it.
10-23-2017 07:26 PM - edited 10-23-2017 07:27 PM
@Snowpuppy wrote:Not so in our family.
Come to my house, men will greet you, take your coats and offer you a drink. Yes, women in the kitchen....where we klatch. Happily.
After dinner the guys proudly help clear the table and stack the dishwasher.
In my BIL & SIL's home, much the same. Men still pitch in.
@Snowpuppy Do the men do any of the cooking? I don't know if that's common nowadays. It's nice they clear and clean
10-23-2017 07:28 PM
I'm answering for my daughter (she's 44, does that count)?
My son-in-law (and his Dad) clean up and they also assist my daughter in whatever preparation she asks them to do. My son-in-law irons his own clothes, loves to grocery shop and on and on. He's amazing!
My daughter is a stay-at-home mom. They have 4 children in 4 different schools. He owns his own computer company and she manages the entire thing. It works perfectly for them.
10-23-2017 07:32 PM
My husband is 63 years old. I am 50.
He has always helped with prep if I need it. Kids help too.
When Dinner is over, I am ushered into the living room, glass of wine ( or whatever I want) to relax while the family clears and does the dishes and packs away all the food.
After tummies settle they all have dessert. Not me. I just make them. Then we watch CHRISTMAS VACATION!
10-23-2017 07:33 PM
I am not the younger generation but our daughter is. When we have a holiday meal it is myself, my husband and our grown daughter doing the fixing of everything and the cleaning up. We have a great system and it doesn't take us anytime to get it done. We do it as a family. For normal meals it is my husband and I. We share the work and when our daughter comes she pitches in and we do when we go to her house. Works for us as we always think of it as family time.
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