Community Chat

[gidgetgh]

I hate hoopla and angst and this sticky situation has both of those.

Since you're not really an invited GUEST, I think I would call and say we'd love to come but since we're sharing the cost, hopefully you and I can get together and decide which menu items we'd all enjoy from the restaurant order.  

[Sage04]

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@RainyDayGal wrote:

I wonder how the invite was worded by her husband.  I know if I asked mine to do it, he'd definitely mess it up or leave something out.

If it was something like, "Since we're both going to be without family this year would you like to come over.  We're planning to order out and we can share the cost."  Something like that wouldn't bother me at all. 

When the wife called back to tell you the cost, you should have said, "Oh, in that case let me think about it." or cancelled on the spot.  Of course you still can - tell her you'll think about it and let her know by such and such a date.

It's up to you.  Since you sound offended I would suggest you just cancel since it's bothering you.  Otherwise, if you enjoy their company then pay and have a good time.  The choice is yours to make.

Personally, I love the holidays with just the two of us.

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@RainyDayGal  could you imagine the conversation she had with her husband when she realized that her husband didn't tell @Duckncover's husband about the $25 per couple?

Men don't like to talk about things like that.  Since my husband didn't convey the message correctly, I would have left it that way rather than calling @Duckncover 

[icezeus]

I am sorry but I think it's rude and I would cancel. Especially since she invited you and then told you later oh by the way the cost is $25.00 each. It's much easier to have a meal and and have guests contribute different dishes, since the expenses can add up. 

[Linmo]

@Duckncover I think that if the wife had called to invite you, she probably would've mentioned the cost of the meal when she invited you.  Since her husband relayed the invitation to yours, I'm not surprised that he forgot to mention it to your husband.  

[Sage04]

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@gidgetgh wrote:

I hate hoopla and angst and this sticky situation has both of those.

Since you're not really an invited GUEST, I think I would call and say we'd love to come but since we're sharing the cost, hopefully you and I can get together and decide which menu items we'd all enjoy from the restaurant order.  

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@gidgetgh  exactly!! It's so easy. We're paying, I'll get what I want to eat.  What's the big deal? Give her the $50 and go and have a good time. Her husband likes the couple.

[Love my grandkids]

@wagirl It IS rude to charge people AFTER they have accepted the invite. No 2 ways about it.

@Duckncover People like your "friends" get away with this stuff because others won't stand up to them.

I would have NO problem dealing with this. People need to get a backbone for pete's sake.

[Love my grandkids]

@Kachina624    

[Sage04]

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@Linmo wrote:

@Duckncover I think that if the wife had called to invite you, she probably would've mentioned the cost of the meal when she invited you.  Since her husband relayed the invitation to yours, I'm not surprised that he forgot to mention it to your husband.  

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@Linmo  the husband didn't forget, he just didn't want to mention it. It's not like a fishing trip where they have to rent whatever. It's a Thanksgiving mean and maybe the husband didn't agree that @Duckncover  and her husband should pay because they invited them.

[Sage04]

Where is @Duckncover?  Maybe she's talking about the menu?  I would go!!

[Buffalogal47]

I may be old fashioned, but it is beyond rude to charge a guest.  If the hosts can't afford to have dinner catered, then then they should cook dinner themselves or simply go out for dinner and have each couple pay their own way. Or here's a novel thought: try cooking themselves. It's much more affordable and you know for sure what you're eating.