Community Chat

[Duckncover]

We have been invited to have dinnner on Thanksgiving Day with a couple we know from church. Their kids and grandkids will be on a ski trip so they will be alone. We will also be without family this year due to everyone relocating or traveling. DH likes the couple and quickly accepted the invitation when the husband called. The wife called yesterday and said he had forgotten to tell us we would need to pay $25 each to help with the cost of the food since she was going to order it from a restaurant instead of cooking. I am appalled. I would never invite someone as a guest and then charge them for the food. I guess we are stuck. I offered to bring some food but she was adamant that I don't bring anything since we are their guests.Have you ever heard of such a thing?  

[Mom2Dogs]

Oh my...I have never heard of anything like you describe!!  You could cancel and tell them you will provide dessert and go to their home AFTER dinner.

[mizree]

@Duckncover look at it this way, you need not feel obligated to return the invite since you are paying for your meal.  

[CelticCrafter]

Guests? 

Don't bring anything because you're their guests but oh btw bring cash to pay for your dinner.

I would find any excuse under the sun to cancel that invite now. 

[catter70]

Nope, never have heard that one before. Seems kind of rude to me.

[MG Chris]

I would be canceling pretty quickly.

[manny2]

It could have and should have been handled different. They should have called and said since we are both alone lets chip in, and order dinner out. We can have it at my house. 

[Duckncover]

It isn't like we don't have the money..but a " guest" doesn't pay for their meal where I come from. I think she is probably wanting to order more food than necessary.

[SXMGirl]

@Duckncover Cancel now.  If you need an excuse, tell her that something has come up or that DH did not know that you had made prior arrangements.  When invited to dinner at someone's home, you should not expect to pay for dinner.  If you go, make sure that the two of you eat $50 worth of food, because she may not let you bring home leftovers or dessert.

[BlueFinch]

NO!  If there was going to be a fee, the plans needed to be discussed. Like, if we get together, would you be willing to pitch in for the cost of the meal, so no one has to cook? Not a call later that you NEED to pay $25. per head ... LOL.

In all my life, I have never invited people for holiday meals, or special occasions expecting them to pay anything. I also never asked them to bring anything. Of course, they usually did, which I always appreciated. 

Even when my DH was alive and we invited friends to a special restaurant for an event, we would even pick up the tab for the group. My feeling is, don't invite,  unless messages are very clear at the get-go. It's poor etiquette, otherwise.