Thank yous - what is proper etiquette these days? - Page 5

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

@DiAnne wrote:
I would ask either her or her mother. In my family thank-you notes are still written and sent - or at least thank-you phone calls.

My family as well. I use this rule for me - if I'm with someone when I give the gift and they give me a verbal thank you at the time that's fine. However, if I send a gift/$, I expect a thank you note and I'm even ok if it's just an email.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

Like the OP, I'm good with a text or an e-mail or even a Facebook post.

After having to repeatedly ask if my nieces or their kids got their gifts, I finished out the year for birthdays and was done. None of them were sent Christmas gifts.

If they can post on Facebook every little burp and sneeze then they can take a minute to say Thanks Aunt CC the kids got their gifts or they got theirs.

The first Christmas I didn't send anything, I did have one actually Facebook me and ask if I had sent anything - just in case it was lost!

Rather than create another rift in an already fractured family I blamed it on retirement, not having as much disposable income and cutting back.

faeriemoon · ‎03-14-2010

I never wanted to be one of those people who whined about not getting a thank you note, but I believe I have turned into one due to bridal shower I attended this spring.

This particular bridal shower was attended by many women knowing there would be no wedding invitation forthcoming since the bride and groom were planning a very small, private ceremony and reception. Even the immediate family was limited. So, many of the guests attended this shower with a "heftier" gift figuring they wanted the bride and groom to make out well giftwise since there wouldn't really be many wedding gifts. On top of this, the shower was held on Mothers' Day!! All these women gave up their Mothers' Day to attend this thing! And yes, you guessed it; four months later, no thank you note, email, text, anything.

I'm a bit miffed. Actually, more than a bit.

~ When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn't become a king. The palace turns into a circus. - Turkish Proverb

Mj12 · ‎03-09-2010

@CelticCrafter wrote:
Like the OP, I'm good with a text or an e-mail or even a Facebook post.

After having to repeatedly ask if my nieces or their kids got their gifts, I finished out the year for birthdays and was done. None of them were sent Christmas gifts.

If they can post on Facebook every little burp and sneeze then they can take a minute to say Thanks Aunt CC the kids got their gifts or they got theirs.

The first Christmas I didn't send anything, I did have one actually Facebook me and ask if I had sent anything - just in case it was lost!

Rather than create another rift in an already fractured family I blamed it on retirement, not having as much disposable income and cutting back.

@CelticCrafter That is unbelievably rude!

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Nothing new about this, there have been rude and ignorant people in the world since the world began. I wouldn't ask if she received the gifts because you know she did. I would let it go and send no more gifts to that young woman. Moving forward, I'd just send cards for the events in her life. People, even young people do indeed still acknowledge gifts and acts of kindness. However, it often is not in the form of a note today. They call or send an email or even a text. I'm ok with that because they are still taking time to express their appreciation. Some are using FB now but I don't consider that type of mass thank you or mass invitation to be personal. But that's me, some are ok with that.

seaBreeze · ‎02-04-2014

I do not receive thank you's for WEDDINGS most of the time~! It's called entitlement. My MIL stopped giving $200 checks to her grandchildren ... she did know they received it because she SAW HER CANCELLED CHECK on her bank statement~!

donovan · ‎03-10-2010

I'm waiting on my nephew to thank me for his birthday $$ from May. I even prompted his mother (he's 10) by asking her if he had bought anything yet with the money I sent. 'No he hasn't bought anything yet' was the reply. He could phone me, text me, email me, say thanks when he sees me, etc. I accept all forms of thank yous. lol

Also waiting on thank yous for wedding shower and wedding gifts from 2016. We even filled out our own addresses on the envelope for the TY cards from the shower!

lulu2 · ‎03-09-2010

Thank you notes are few and far between. (for any gift giving event) I decided I had to put aside my expectations and decide the reason I was giving the gift. It wasn't about my thank you, rather it was an acknowledgement of a special event in the recipient's life.

I do want to know the gift was received. Now I always send a check. I check our account to see whether it has been cashed with the proper endorsement signature. That's my confirmation that the check was received.

A niece-in-law was forever holding checks After 6 months without cashing them I stopped payment. Sometime in the future she tried cashing them and could not. She called me. I told her I thought after this lengthy period she was not going to cash them, for reasons I did not need to know. She said she was too busy to go to the bank. (she is a SAHM) Now she always cashes them promptly.