Teacher sentenced to 30 years for involvement with... - Page 7

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

That isn't what I said, but whatever.

surfk · ‎07-12-2010

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
That isn't what I said, but whatever.

If I were you, I would go back and re-read all of your own posted comments.

I think you did say precisely what I'm perceiving (or reading). I could cut & paste all of your comments together on the topic and it may be clearer to you what exactly you wrote.

Perhaps you don't intend to sound as though you advocate such a relationship. But the justifications found in all of your posts on this topic would seem to contradict that on a fundamental level.

A boy of 16-17 as you say can be willing to go and no one can "make" him be aroused or do it.

But that could also be said of a boy of 13 or 14, realistically.

There are nine-year-olds who are that advanced - in that one, singular sense.

It doesn't make the decision-making any better.

Heck, take under-aged out of the equation altogether. We see the ridiculous sexual choices some college kids make while on campus or Spring Break.

What separate it, is merely the legality of it all. But many of them, too, although legal and able to be aroused and capable of nodding and INSISTENT upon the idea that they know what they're doing...can make horrendous choices or find themselves used horribly by others.

Teens of 16-17 ought to just be grateful that there are any laws in place attempting to protect them from predatory acts. Because in another year...they're sort of just as clueless, defiant, horny and capable of thinking they know what they want. But they'll be all on their own with the consequences.

And again...this always flips to become about the youth "deciding" to participate.

Issues of teen sexuality don't automatically leap to adults having sex with teens. Teens having sex with teens, maybe.

But so often in these sorts of "hot to trot" adult sexual predator cases, somehow the MASSIVE ISSUES of the adult take a back seat to all the reasons some horny clueless kid might want to have sex.

It would be missing the point. And missing the intent of the predator (no matter how built, how blonde, how hot, how nice, how wowsa she might be).

Would we cut a super handsome male predator a break just because he could turn the heads of every sixth grade girl??

Or is it okay for the hot-bodied male math teacher to go through the entire junior class at the school where he works....because LOOK AT HIM! He's so HOT!

ME THINKS NOT.

rac71 · ‎01-07-2014

Adults have influence simply by being adult authority figures. Teenagers, even young adults in their early twenties, have been culturally trained to recognize this. It is our job as the authority figure and teacher to teach students flirting with adults is unacceptable. This is a system me-wide issue and policy that must b enforced by all. It is likely other educational adults witnessed the flirting and remained silent. They are equally responsible as silent enablers. Thus begins my pent-up rant...

On the other hand, I have been grabbed and publicly sexually battered or harassed by some of my students, aged 13-17. Depending upon the administrator, it is addressed as a legal issue, or, once, I was told it would help if I had a breast reduction. These incidents were not first attempts toward me by the boys in question. I have seen 8th grade and older boys sexually harass female classmates and teachers. When it is not addressed with clear, negative consequences, the child does not know to cease and desist. Unfortunately, as I experienced, I was blamed and told to surgically alter my appearance as it was a temptation. I had it happens 10 years later, I could've sued the female administrators who made such declarations sexual discrimination and harassment. Unfortunately, protecting ourselves also ends our careers thanks to the court of public opinion and social media.

Several of my male colleagues are drooled over by some of their students. Yes, it freaks them out. One grew a beard to try deterring the "looks" he got from his female students. He said the morning he shaved at the end of the year...those looks were back. It is very tricky for these men to report the problem because they will be considered responsible for something in which they are completely innocent. This is a parent/administration issue. No one teaches them any better. And yes, I have sat in meetings where certain male teachers are discussed like eye candy and meat by parent and peer, agreeing how much the daughter will like having hot science teacher next year.

If those boys' parents were clueless before the sex began, that oblivious, they are absentee. No wonder their children were seeking attention and affection where they could find it.

I have been an educator for nearly 20 years. I have reported students' claims of sexual abuse, as required by law, and had them fall on deaf ears. It is only when a teacher is accused that someone bothers. I've also had to explain to colleagues that the kids reading dirty romances are curious, not being abused by a parent. They wouldn't be reading bodice-rippers if it was happening at home.

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@surfk wrote:
@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
That isn't what I said, but whatever.
If I were you, I would go back and re-read all of your own posted comments.

I think you did say precisely what I'm perceiving (or reading). I could cut & paste all of your comments together on the topic and it may be clearer to you what exactly you wrote.

Perhaps you don't intend to sound as though you advocate such a relationship. But the justifications found in all of your posts on this topic would seem to contradict that on a fundamental level.

A boy of 16-17 as you say can be willing to go and no one can "make" him be aroused or do it.

But that could also be said of a boy of 13 or 14, realistically.

There are nine-year-olds who are that advanced - in that one, singular sense.

It doesn't make the decision-making any better.

Heck, take under-aged out of the equation altogether. We see the ridiculous sexual choices some college kids make while on campus or Spring Break.

What separate it, is merely the legality of it all. But many of them, too, although legal and able to be aroused and capable of nodding and INSISTENT upon the idea that they know what they're doing...can make horrendous choices or find themselves used horribly by others.

Teens of 16-17 ought to just be grateful that there are any laws in place attempting to protect them from predatory acts. Because in another year...they're sort of just as clueless, defiant, horny and capable of thinking they know what they want. But they'll be all on their own with the consequences.

And again...this always flips to become about the youth "deciding" to participate.

Issues of teen sexuality don't automatically leap to adults having sex with teens. Teens having sex with teens, maybe.

But so often in these sorts of "hot to trot" adult sexual predator cases, somehow the MASSIVE ISSUES of the adult take a back seat to all the reasons some horny clueless kid might want to have sex.

It would be missing the point. And missing the intent of the predator (no matter how built, how blonde, how hot, how nice, how wowsa she might be).

Would we cut a super handsome male predator a break just because he could turn the heads of every sixth grade girl??

Or is it okay for the hot-bodied male math teacher to go through the entire junior class at the school where he works....because LOOK AT HIM! He's so HOT!

ME THINKS NOT.

I think you are determined to deliberately misunderstand and twist what I have said; so there isn't much point in my responding......

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

@rac71 wrote:
Adults have influence simply by being adult authority figures. Teenagers, even young adults in their early twenties, have been culturally trained to recognize this. It is our job as the authority figure and teacher to teach students flirting with adults is unacceptable. This is a system me-wide issue and policy that must b enforced by all. It is likely other educational adults witnessed the flirting and remained silent. They are equally responsible as silent enablers. Thus begins my pent-up rant...

On the other hand, I have been grabbed and publicly sexually battered or harassed by some of my students, aged 13-17. Depending upon the administrator, it is addressed as a legal issue, or, once, I was told it would help if I had a breast reduction. These incidents were not first attempts toward me by the boys in question. I have seen 8th grade and older boys sexually harass female classmates and teachers. When it is not addressed with clear, negative consequences, the child does not know to cease and desist. Unfortunately, as I experienced, I was blamed and told to surgically alter my appearance as it was a temptation. I had it happens 10 years later, I could've sued the female administrators who made such declarations sexual discrimination and harassment. Unfortunately, protecting ourselves also ends our careers thanks to the court of public opinion and social media.

Several of my male colleagues are drooled over by some of their students. Yes, it freaks them out. One grew a beard to try deterring the "looks" he got from his female students. He said the morning he shaved at the end of the year...those looks were back. It is very tricky for these men to report the problem because they will be considered responsible for something in which they are completely innocent. This is a parent/administration issue. No one teaches them any better. And yes, I have sat in meetings where certain male teachers are discussed like eye candy and meat by parent and peer, agreeing how much the daughter will like having hot science teacher next year.

If those boys' parents were clueless before the sex began, that oblivious, they are absentee. No wonder their children were seeking attention and affection where they could find it.

I have been an educator for nearly 20 years. I have reported students' claims of sexual abuse, as required by law, and had them fall on deaf ears. It is only when a teacher is accused that someone bothers. I've also had to explain to colleagues that the kids reading dirty romances are curious, not being abused by a parent. They wouldn't be reading bodice-rippers if it was happening at home.

WOW! That is crazy that you were told that. How inappropriate.

When I was in high school, we had two male gym teachers/football,LAX/coaches who were pretty good looking. They were both in their mid to late 20s. Very popular teachers with both the guys and girls because they were younger and more relatable probably with the students. One was particularly popular with the girls and there were several girls who REALLY threw themselves at this teacher. Even as a high school kid I was absolutely astonished at the levels these girls went to, to get their attention. Looking back now, it was so over the line completely inappropriate and stalkerish. The teacher I am talking about was married too and they even called his home. The teacher complained and these girls were changed from his class but I don't think the administration took it as seriously as they should have. This was between 1986-88 and I am sure today it would be handled differently, at least I hope it would.

If I was a regular, law abiding teacher who had no intention of any funny business I think I would be scared to be a teacher today. There have been several cases in my town where students have accused teachers of molesting them and these were later found out to be false. The damage was done already though and that is something that is almost impossible to come back from. I don't feel one bit sorry for teachers who are doing this but I think I would be terrified to be in the very vulnerable position of being a teacher because I have seen a couple of times where a perfectly innocent person was accused of this and later exonerated but the damage was done to their reputation. Scary stuff and I don't blame the male teachers you work with for trying to "down" their appearance.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

surfk · ‎07-12-2010

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
@surfk wrote:
@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
That isn't what I said, but whatever.
If I were you, I would go back and re-read all of your own posted comments.

I think you did say precisely what I'm perceiving (or reading). I could cut & paste all of your comments together on the topic and it may be clearer to you what exactly you wrote.

Perhaps you don't intend to sound as though you advocate such a relationship. But the justifications found in all of your posts on this topic would seem to contradict that on a fundamental level.

A boy of 16-17 as you say can be willing to go and no one can "make" him be aroused or do it.

But that could also be said of a boy of 13 or 14, realistically.

There are nine-year-olds who are that advanced - in that one, singular sense.

It doesn't make the decision-making any better.

Heck, take under-aged out of the equation altogether. We see the ridiculous sexual choices some college kids make while on campus or Spring Break.

What separate it, is merely the legality of it all. But many of them, too, although legal and able to be aroused and capable of nodding and INSISTENT upon the idea that they know what they're doing...can make horrendous choices or find themselves used horribly by others.

Teens of 16-17 ought to just be grateful that there are any laws in place attempting to protect them from predatory acts. Because in another year...they're sort of just as clueless, defiant, horny and capable of thinking they know what they want. But they'll be all on their own with the consequences.

And again...this always flips to become about the youth "deciding" to participate.

Issues of teen sexuality don't automatically leap to adults having sex with teens. Teens having sex with teens, maybe.

But so often in these sorts of "hot to trot" adult sexual predator cases, somehow the MASSIVE ISSUES of the adult take a back seat to all the reasons some horny clueless kid might want to have sex.

It would be missing the point. And missing the intent of the predator (no matter how built, how blonde, how hot, how nice, how wowsa she might be).

Would we cut a super handsome male predator a break just because he could turn the heads of every sixth grade girl??

Or is it okay for the hot-bodied male math teacher to go through the entire junior class at the school where he works....because LOOK AT HIM! He's so HOT!

ME THINKS NOT.
I think you are determined to deliberately misunderstand and twist what I have said; so there isn't much point in my responding......

Rather than repeatedly claiming that I'm misconstruing what you wrote, why not just summarize your point or rephrase it as to assure that your genuine meaning is made clear.

You keep saying that I don't get what you were saying. But if you read you own posts - as you have written them - you might begin to see what I and some others are seeing.

@Just TWO of the things which you wrote:

"I already know plenty about it.

I'm not talking about legal definitions, I'm talking about real life........rape is about power, it is about overpowering a person and forcing yourself on them.

A woman typically can't do that to a teenage boy."

"Because a 16 or 17-year-old guy is usually pretty well-developed physically.

How is she going to do anything unless he lets her?"

I'm not intending to argue with you. But as your point/s were obviously not clear or got lost in some rather direct statement you made on the topic, I just want to be sure that no one (even inadvertently) is saying its "just what teens do."

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

While you're quoting me, let's include this:

"I can't understand how a teacher with a family of her own could be attracted to a 12-year-old."

I think you are just misunderstanding me.

Maybe I can clarify tomorrow, but for now I am beat!

Goodnight all ~

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

Good night Yorkie! Think I am heading to bed too. Have a nice night everyone!

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
@biancardi wrote:
@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
@ChynnaBlue wrote:
@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
It's different to me, because a grown man can FORCE himself on a young girl.
An adult female typically can't overpower a teenage boy.

To me, it is different.....a minor female cannot protect herself; a teenage boy can....I don't see how a boy is harmed like a female is when she is violated by someone, simply because of the anatomy involved.

Then you need to read up about sexual assault and what it is. It's not just about overpowering someone, it's also about rape by coercion and authority. An adult woman can rape a boy or even an adult man because it's not about whether or not a rapist can overpower a victim or not.
I already know plenty about it.
I'm not talking about legal definitions, I'm talking about real life........rape is about power, it is about overpowering a person and forcing yourself on them.
A woman typically can't do that to a teenage boy.

yes, they can. Hormones. Your mind says no, but your body says yes. There are cases of women who are r*ped that will climax during the r*pe. That DOESN'T mean that they enjoyed it or they weren't r*aped

Even if a guy gets "ready for action," the female adult would still have to force herself on him - which is typically not possible.
As for your bolded comment, I'm not sure how you arrived at that conclusion; most women have a problem ringing their chimes when it's consensual.
Not sure how a female would climax at a time like that.

Feel free to educate me....

You have already proven than you are unwilling to be educated, so I don't think she should bother. You refuse to accept the fact that boys can be raped by women, further reinforcing the old idea of blaming the victim. Women have too long been blamed for their own rapes and now you're blaming this boy for his in much the same way. He's a teenage boy, so he wanted it, the same way that drunk woman in the short skirt must have wanted it. Victim blaming is victim blaming and it helps no one and hurts many.

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