Community Chat

[monicakm]

That says it all @BlueFinch 

I'm sorry you had to endure that.

I'm sorry for all of us, patient and family.

[Lucky Charm]

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@monicakm wrote:

Thank you @We rescue cats 

I just accepted it for months and now I'm wondering "why?"  She let the death of my brother consume her and ultimately died from it when she had family still on this earth that NEEDED her.

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@monicakm Awww, that had to have been hard for her to lose a child.  I'm sure it's worse than losing a parent.  That's the natural progression.... 

I lost my mother earlier this year, too.  It's hard!  My dad is missing her something fierce. They were two peas in a pod.  Still very much in love, in every sense.

It will do you good to take a break, maybe get some counciling?  If you have children, they're going to need you to feel better about yourself again--for their sake.

What is OS Setting Spray in your OP???

[monicakm]

@Lucky Charm 

I'm sorry for the loss of your mom.  My parents sound like yours.  They were married 66 years.  I know it was hard for her to lose my brother.  I really do understand. I've just been trying to understand why it consumed her to the point of ultimately killing her   Dad and I still needed her.  I do have a child.  She's 42.  She's been a rock.

[RedTop]

@monicakm 

Reading your comments makes me think you might be experiencing the 5 stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

[bikerbabe]

@monicakm

Losing close family is always difficult, especially a parent. Your brother’s death was hard enough and adding in your mom’s dementia and passing - it’s a lot to process.

Dementia patients can go in and out of lucidity. She didn’t have the mental tools to deal with losing a son. There’s no blame. She was also very sick. ❤️‍🩹

Being the child that is left, is a challenge. I’m glad you have your dad, and your family.

It takes time. ❤️‍🩹

[monicakm]

@bikerbabe 

Thank you for your kind and wise words.  I really don't and didn't blame my mom for anything before the dementia and certainly not when she started her decline.  It's just very hard and I thought I was handling it.  

[monicakm]

@RedTop 

I think I'm in anger mode right now.  Never went thru denial.  I was actually relieved.  What it must have been like to be in her head.  I've never lost anyone I loved more.  At least I don't have the regret that she didn't know it.  

[monicakm]

@Lucky Charm 

I know.  Mom and my brother were two peas in a pod.  Just like dad and I are.  Plus, he was their care taker for a few years before he died.  His diagnosis was quick.  Dr said he had less than a week.  He lasted a month.  

I think I've already replied to this   I'm so sorry for your loss.  What have  you done to help cope with the loss of your mother?  It's just dad and me now.  I had such a nice visit with him last Sunday  He was alert and talkative but I didn't understand most of what he said.  He sure brightened up when I turned the tv from Westerns to FOOTBALL!  I never know if I should talk about my mom or not.  Do you bring up your mom to your dad?

OS is a setting spray (aerosol).  I had the mini and just got the full size today.

[bmorechick]

@monicakm   Yes, we moms are full of wisdom for sure ... that's why I continue to try and pass along that wisdom to my grown children. Most times, they strongly consider it and sometimes not, but hey sometimes I surely did not!