Community Chat

[Trinity11]

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@Shanus wrote:

When I began posting, I was advised by many to have a “thick skin”. Wow, did I need that the other day when ripped apart without cause. For a little while, I felt hurt, defeated, whatever, but would never give the snarky ones the satisfaction of leaving. Let them leave if not thrilled w/ my threads, posts or opinions. Leaving here is letting the “bad guys” win.

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@Shanus, I just saw that thread in your history. Having had a similar incident, ignore is your friend. There are some posters here that live for confrontation, blame it on their poor health and love testing your vulnerability. I think they get a zing every time you express that you were hurt.

[newname0]

Good idea, anna belle.  When this forum becomes your lifeblood it's time to step back.  Enjoy your freedom.

[Shanus]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Shanus wrote:

When I began posting, I was advised by many to have a “thick skin”. Wow, did I need that the other day when ripped apart without cause. For a little while, I felt hurt, defeated, whatever, but would never give the snarky ones the satisfaction of leaving. Let them leave if not thrilled w/ my threads, posts or opinions. Leaving here is letting the “bad guys” win.

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@Shanus, I just saw that thread in your history. Having had a similar incident, ignore is your friend. There are some posters here that live for confrontation, blame it on their poor health and love testing your vulnerability. I think they get a zing every time you express that you were hurt.

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@Trinity11  Yes, to keep posting is the best “revenge”.

[dooBdoo]

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@Shanus wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Shanus wrote:

When I began posting, I was advised by many to have a “thick skin”. Wow, did I need that the other day when ripped apart without cause. For a little while, I felt hurt, defeated, whatever, but would never give the snarky ones the satisfaction of leaving. Let them leave if not thrilled w/ my threads, posts or opinions. Leaving here is letting the “bad guys” win.

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@Shanus, I just saw that thread in your history. Having had a similar incident, ignore is your friend. There are some posters here that live for confrontation, blame it on their poor health and love testing your vulnerability. I think they get a zing every time you express that you were hurt.

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@Trinity11  Yes, to keep posting is the best “revenge”.

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            I can understand the thinking -- I really can -- yet I want to interject a thought about this because I've seen the sentiment posted here before and it caused me to stop a while and ponder it.   

            We give others too much power over us if we stop posting because of them but also if we continue posting (in a negative sense) because of them.   

            Believe me, I understand from personal experience how emotions come into play here and I've had some mighty painful slings and arrows cast my way.   Even so, I think we serve ourselves (and, really, others too) best if we spend time here in a way that enriches our day, or gives us pleasure, or is otherwise positive and beneficial for us or those we want to support and encourage.   Otherwise, as others have said, perhaps we need to take a breather and evaluate the way we're spending our precious time.

            Regarding allowing others to know our vulnerabilities...   I agree with @Trinity11, and I'll always be grateful to @jubilant for this wisdom:

            "They can't get your goat if you don't let them see where you tie it."😉   

Thank you, @jubilant!

[ECBG]

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@Shanus wrote:

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@goldensrbest wrote:

Why is it so hard to understand for some ,when a poster no longer posts ,some of us get concerned, i don't see annabelle being the type to need attention.

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@goldensrbestUh...I disagree. There are some who like more attention and some who like less attention, but I think she likes her share.

 I find her posts longer than necessary and sometimes wide ranging regarding topic. I think she said she likes to respond to everyone, those who agree and those who disagree. Maybe she just ❤️s those who agree.  I don’t know as I’ll admit I don’t read most of her stuff...because it’s often long and wide ranging. 

She’d be a great blogger. 

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@esmerelda  Wow, just wow!!

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@ShanusThat's unbelieveable.  @esmerelda Very unnecessary to  a wonderful, kind soul.

[Trinity11]

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@dooBdoo wrote:

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@Shanus wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Shanus wrote:

When I began posting, I was advised by many to have a “thick skin”. Wow, did I need that the other day when ripped apart without cause. For a little while, I felt hurt, defeated, whatever, but would never give the snarky ones the satisfaction of leaving. Let them leave if not thrilled w/ my threads, posts or opinions. Leaving here is letting the “bad guys” win.

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@Shanus, I just saw that thread in your history. Having had a similar incident, ignore is your friend. There are some posters here that live for confrontation, blame it on their poor health and love testing your vulnerability. I think they get a zing every time you express that you were hurt.

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@Trinity11  Yes, to keep posting is the best “revenge”.

---

            I can understand the thinking -- I really can -- yet I want to interject a thought about this because I've seen the sentiment posted here before and it caused me to stop a while and ponder it.   

            We give others too much power over us if we stop posting because of them but also if we continue posting (in a negative sense) because of them.   

            Believe me, I understand from personal experience how emotions come into play here and I've had some mighty painful slings and arrows cast my way.   Even so, I think we serve ourselves (and, really, others too) best if we spend time here in a way that enriches our day, or gives us pleasure, or is otherwise positive and beneficial for us or those we want to support and encourage.   Otherwise, as others have said, perhaps we need to take a breather and evaluate the way we're spending our precious time.

            Regarding allowing others to know our vulnerabilities...   I'll always be grateful to @jubilant for this wisdom:

            "They can't get your goat if you don't let them see where you tie it."😉   

Thank you, @jubilant!

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So good to see you posting again @dooBdoo. I have missed you and always do when you take a little break. Hope the migraines are letting up. I know just how painful they can be and trying to read a message board is impossible when they hang on for a few days.

[Zhills]

I don't disagree, but recently there have been a couple of threads that bothered me greatly.  Not my thread, not my problem......but ones so similar that it could have been.  The attitude of the posters was the worse I have ever seen expressed.  They made me want to just sit down and cry.  Nobody putting themselves in the other person's shoes, just bashing!

There's 2 sides to every story but occasionally the opinions are just harsh and ugly and unnecessary.

When I had cancer, this board was my lifeline!  My friends on this BB kept me going.  I was in a "dead end" marriage and going through my ordeal alone was the worse thing I have ever experienced.  

Today, I wonder if anyone would be there to hold my hand.  I feel sorry for the 'me, me, me' way of thinking!

[Shanus]

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@Zhills wrote:

I don't disagree, but recently there have been a couple of threads that bothered me greatly.  Not my thread, not my problem......but ones so similar that it could have been.  The attitude of the posters was the worse I have ever seen expressed.  They made me want to just sit down and cry.  Nobody putting themselves in the other person's shoes, just bashing!

There's 2 sides to every story but occasionally the opinions are just harsh and ugly and unnecessary.

When I had cancer, this board was my lifeline!  My friends on this BB kept me going.  I was in a "dead end" marriage and going through my ordeal alone was the worse thing I have ever experienced.  

Today, I wonder if anyone would be there to hold my hand.  I feel sorry for the 'me, me, me' way of thinking!

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@Zhills  So very well said. Hope all has turned out better for you. 🌸

[IamMrsG]

I will always remember talking with a wise woman about the difficulty in selecting quality entertainment.  Pointing out how she felt about some television offerings, she said she'd never tolerate raw sewage running through her home.  I've frequently since used that gauge, and have sensed that analogy toward some of the conversations in these forums; in fact, even in this thread.  

When a poster feels raw sewage has been slung her way, she is well within her right to speak out and say, "Later."   Sorry to have to point it out, but our judgement about it doesn't matter one iota.  In fact, as I recall her post so many pages back, I don't recall her asking for either our opinions or approval.   Furthermore, it is my experience that judgement usually stems from one's own motives or standards.   

@Annabellethecat66, there are posts I will click onto because of the author's name attached to it.  Yours have been among that dwindling group. 

[esmerelda]

@Shanus@ECBGI don't think I said anything out of line.  I expressed my opinion in...trust me...the nicest way I could.

People here may remember that many times I've written that I often don't read long posts because...they are long.  Short attention span?  Lack of interest?  Probably.

You and others here disagree with my opinion, have a different one.  That's okay.

Someone said they look at the poster's name before they read the post.  I'm the opposite.  I'll start reading a post and wonder, "Who is writing this bit of wisdom?" and then I'll look for the poster's name.  Many times I'll start reading and think, "I bet this is (insert name here)" just based on the post.  Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm surprised.

Anyway, my post, my opinion.  Nobody needs to agree.