TIME TO LIGHTEN UP

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1- Do you have a date on Valentine's Day? Yes, it is February 14th.

2- What's the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener.

3- Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your x and wondered y?

4- "I like to show my girlfriend who's the boss in our house. I do this by holding a mirror up to her face,

5- Never laugh at your girlfriend's choices. You're one of them.

6- Wife: Do you want dinner?"

Husband: Sure, what are my choices's?"

Wife: Yes or no.

7- My friend, an intern, was given $50 to get the chairman of the bank some lunch. He was told to get himself something, he bought a shirt.

8- It's amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my co-worker, she said, "You look gorgeous, I didn't recognize you!"

9- An insurance agent called our medical office. One of our doctors has filled out a medically necessary leave of absence form for a patient, but, the agent said, the patient altered it. The giveaway? The return to work date had been changed to, February 30.

10- A husband and wife were dining at a 5 star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said, "Our food has arrived, let's eat." His wife reminded him: "Honey, you always say your prayers at home before dinner." Her husband replied: "That's at home. Here the chef knows how to cook."

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

BrandiDavis · ‎06-27-2016

LOL ty for sharing these! My favorites are 8 and 10

~ Hope in TN ~

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

8,9, and 10 are pretty funny

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"