THINGS TO DO TODAY...

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. Get up

Survive

Go back to bed

2. No, I didn't say you WERE stupid, I said you ARE stupid. There is no past tense about it.

3. The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

4. Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.

5. Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach. At least that explains the footprints in the cat litter box this morning.

6. Today my son came to me and gave me a hug - out of the blue. I was pleasantly surprised - that is until I heard him say to his father, "You're right, she gained weight."

7. Of course I should wash my windows. But privacy is important too.

8. "I am a master at fast calculations." "OK, what is 758 times 642 divided by 5?" "22." "Ha, ha, that's wrong."

"Might be, but it was fast."

9. I received an invitation to a wedding. I answered: Maybe next time. Thanks."

10. My wife's cooking is so bad, we usually pray AFTER the food.

11. What to give a man who's got everything? A woman. She'll tell him how everything works.

12. It's been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it. He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I'm going to have to let him in.

13. First rule of Sundays: If you can't reach it from the couch, you don't need it.

14. ...and out of the chaos, a sentence came to me. "Laugh and be happy, it could be worse...and so I laughed and was happy and it really became worse.

15. If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?

16. Jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain. That gives hope to quite a few people.

17. Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell? "Yep, gravity still works."

18. My relationship is like an iPad. I don't have an iPad.

19. I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.

20. Just sending out a big hug to anyone who needs it right now.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

gramgrandkids1 · ‎10-31-2019

@Lindsays Grandma didn't know you were spying on me. How else would you know #1 and 7 fit me to a T.

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

#1 is my day every day.....I get up early.....and prepare all day for bed time....my favorite time of the day.

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@gramgrandkids1 wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma didn't know you were spying on me. How else would you know #1 and 7 fit me to a T.

@gramgrandkids1 How else do I know? Because I have powers no one knows I have...

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

hellie jo · ‎07-16-2017

@Lindsays Grandma Thanks for the hug.Right back at ya!

SandySparkles · ‎06-13-2010

@Lindsays Grandma LOL. You know I love a good laugh, and this one certainly delivered!! #6, 7, 10, 12, 15 and 16 are hilarious😂😂. I'm sure anyone that might be experiencing adversity, and in need of a pick-me-up or hug, will find #20 to be the most special of them all. Something as simple as a hug, can nourish the soul. It was indeed a pleasure, to read this post.😊

~~~All we need is LOVE💖