Community Chat

[Mary Bailey]

One (and only one) Thanksgiving at a family member's home, they had cats, some cats were on the counter licking the turkey and everything else on the counter. DH &  I stopped eating immediately. 

[Ms tyrion2]

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@Patriot3 wrote:

I never could understand why people bring their pets and expect everyone else to accommodate that pet.  Maybe they think it is God's gift to people, but not everyone else thinks that way.

What about the people who are afraid of animals, the small child who is constantly being overrun by the big dog, the people who are allergic, and the pet itself who is overwhelmed with all the strange people and goes bonkers!  I could go on.

Pets belong at home when there are so many people around.  Can't leave them at home?  Then kennel them.........it's your responsibility, not everyone else's.

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It isn't a black or white issue.

Every good host knows her guests. If your guests are dog friendly and pets are always a part of a gathering, then have them.

If they aren't,  then don't. 

Simple. No angst.

[chrystaltree]

@DiAnne 

That's the way I was raised too, I raised my children that way and I live that way.  

[SurferWife]

@jubilant 

Your post was not offensive or judgmental in the least. I didn’t take it that way at all. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!🍁🦃🍽 

[candys mine]

@jubilant  And THAT'S where society is these days.  I note she did not say  COULD NOT come, she said WOULD NOT come.  She put the onus on the Host of the invitation to meet her demands vs upon herself to keep her child off counters and tables.  No matter what this woman's reasons, It was not a polite decline.  Their First and Last invite if it was me.

[Othereeeen]

 And please...the HOST should also not try to "force" people to "just try this" or guilt people into eating something they don't want or like. (slimy green bean casserole always comes to mind!!!)

No means No the FIRST time.

I am on a very low carb diet....I don't eat stuffing, potatoes, rice, gravy made with flour, corn, cake, cookies, pies, etc etc etc...Kept FIFTY POUNDS off now for three years eating like this....

I am PERFECTLY happy with the turkey and a green veggie with some butter on it!

I do not like to be badgered to "try this".....but I just politely say no thank you til they get it.

I think the alcohol, politics, and religion ruins more holidays than anything else.

Actually, I LIKE being home alone on holidays. (I live alone)....it always seems so quiet. No traffic going by the house. Seeing my neighbors leave for dinner or have people in.

I like quiet. My relatives all live a long way away so it's an ordeal to visit, especially if there's bad weather. And it seems I'm always the one to do the travelling since they all have families.

Everyone...enjoy T-giving your way and DON"T FIGHT!!!!

[suzyQ3]

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@SurferWife wrote:

Uh-oh...I would fail at #5.  Truthfully, if I was invited somewhere that I couldn't bring my little dog I would politely decline.  We just can't stand leaving him alone.  We went out to dinner dinner tonight & only had  pu-pu's (appetizers) so we could rush back home to our puppy.  That's how we choose to live our lives.

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@SurferWife, as long as you politely decline, no one can fault you for your choice. I personally prefer that people keep their animals at home, especially if there are going to be many guests and losts of bustling around.

[stevieb]

As a host, I would not expect to fulfill any and everyone's dietary, needs, preferences or limitations... My invitation would be made 'as-is', take it or leave it... I would not be made to feel guilty for not being 'inclusive'... What a crock... I also would not expect anyone to show up with a pet or with children that they fail to control... Truth is, for better or worse, I'd probably not invite guests with small children... As a guest, I would not expect my host to accomodate my every need or whim and I would not show up with a pet unless I'd specifically cleared it first with the host... As for what is and isn't discussed, it's what the traffic will bear... Every venue is different...

[MaryLamb]

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@MaryLamb wrote:

I am a gluten-free diabetic vegan. If you choose to invite me to your Thanksgiving meal, I expect to be fed as equally and heartily as any other guest at your meal. 

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Ok, so I was just being silly, not serious. I was giving an example of an impolite guest. I did have a guest like this once, but it was for Easter dinner. I didn't want anyone to be upset, so I actually catered to the guy, right down to making sugar free sorbet in my ice cream maker. I'm hosting Christmas Eve dinner this year and one of my guest is vegetarian and another is dairy free. I'm having a harder time accommodating the dairy free guy than the vegetarian gal. So many side dishes have cream or cheese in them including the soup and main side dish that I usually make.

[IamMrsG]

I think most of the rules in the original post are primarily for more formal dinners or occasional guests--“company,” as it were--not necessarily casual or family gatherings; so, given the scenario of an actual dinner party, the ‘rules’ make perfect sense.  That said, though, whether ‘company’ or family, it is always preferable to use good manners and to value others ahead of self.

 I might have told this before, and neither occasion was at Thanksgiving, but I will share my experiences with two unforgettably rude dinner guests:

1.  There once (note, “once”) was a guest who could would not eat any combined or even touching-each-other dish, e.g., salad, sauce/gravy topped, casseroles, etc.  Every component had to be separated from the other by clear space on his plate.  I accommodated him to the nth degree, even setting his place with extra plates.  Believe my complete disgust when this man lit a cigarette (this was decades ago) after the meal and used a china plate for his ashtray. 

2.  The other time was with a couple that my DH and I knew very well, in fact, they introduced us.  The husband was an easy-going man, but the wife was vocal and accustomed to having her own way.  My DH and I were childless, had no toys, means or desires to host small children.  This made it all the more shocking when this couple arrived for dinner, and quite unexpectedly not only brought their children along, but the babysitter as well!  Instead of four for dinner, I suddenly had seven.