Such a Sad story, had to vent - Page 3

Ibby114 · ‎03-10-2010

@Blahblahvampemer wrote:
@hoosieroriginal wrote:
Unfortunately, this stuff happens more than you think. Women need to start checking out the men they date or marry before they start have children with them. You can't tell me these women don't know what kind of men they are involved with - let's be smart women - you deserve better!
Amen!! In the 70s, a book titled "Any Woman Can" told women what to look for in a guy, how to pay attention to the warning signs, and a biggie, running in the opposite direction when the guy is toxic or doesn't want the same thing. Even then he knew that living together wasn't a good idea (studies still back this up), and you don't try to change the guy who says he doesn't believe in marriage or want kids when you do. And so on.

Women have an insane amount of inate power, but we toss it away to whine.

You can have all the information in the world, using it wisely is another thing.

gabstoomuch · ‎03-16-2010

Many times the personality disorder does not unmask itself until one is already married. Then you find out who the person really is.

I also feel bad that they have so many children, but also know that is another tactic these men (and women for that matter) to keep a sick hold on the partner is to laden them down with kids, making them totally dependent.

I sometimes think "why did you marry"?? But then when you hear victims of domestic abuse (mental or physical), you hear how very hard it is to get away. Usually the abuser takes to control of the money too, leaving them with no way to get out. Not allowed to work.

The stories are heartbraeking, the ones that eventually find their "brave" and speak out in hopes of shining a light on demoestic abuse have unbelievable circumstances they lived with.

And it is more common than anyone knows, because they are the "silent suffering". Also, there many men suffering too. Women abusers get even less light shined on them, but they are just as abusive.

Just sad all around. There but for the grace of God go I.....

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

It's very easy for everyone to sit in judgement on women who stay in abusive relationships, have children, etc.

Unless you have walked in that woman's shoes, you have no idea the reasons why.

Some women are raised in families where they themselves have been abused, so they know no other type of relationship, nor do they know how to pull themselves out of a bad relationship.

Some feel unworthy of anything better, or don't even know that anything better is possible.

Some don't have family or friends or any backup or support, so they choose to stay with a situation that they are familiar with, even though it's dangerous.

As far as having children with someone like that, many times women have no way to protect themselves. If they don't have health insurance, live in an area where it is not easy to find a doctor or go to a pharmacy, etc, then they are very vulnerable to becoming pregnant.

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

@Ibby114 wrote:
@Blahblahvampemer wrote:
@hoosieroriginal wrote:
Unfortunately, this stuff happens more than you think. Women need to start checking out the men they date or marry before they start have children with them. You can't tell me these women don't know what kind of men they are involved with - let's be smart women - you deserve better!
Amen!! In the 70s, a book titled "Any Woman Can" told women what to look for in a guy, how to pay attention to the warning signs, and a biggie, running in the opposite direction when the guy is toxic or doesn't want the same thing. Even then he knew that living together wasn't a good idea (studies still back this up), and you don't try to change the guy who says he doesn't believe in marriage or want kids when you do. And so on.

Women have an insane amount of inate power, but we toss it away to whine.
You can have all the information in the world, using it wisely is another thing.

True, and this is also assuming that all women come from the same socioeconomic background.

When you grow up in and live in at risk circumstances, you don't know how to make choices.

You don't even know there are choices to make.

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero

conlt · ‎03-16-2010

I am college educated and I was in an abusive relationship for a long time, many years. He was so charming in the beginning and the abuse started as verbal then turned physical. I was physically and mental abused by a sibling when I was young. My dad verbally abused my mom so when I was being verbally abused, I thought that was normal. It was difficult and scary to get out. I needed help and received help from a woman's shelter. It is not as simple as walking away as some think. I am still afraid that he will be back to bother me even though it has been 4 years. I have my phone unplugged now because he has been trying to contact me to come back. I have his number blocked on my cell. Every time I hear of something like this or a woman being murdered by a spouse or boyfriend, I think that it could have easily been me. The family is the last person the abused will go to. It is easy to fall back in, one must have some counseling and support to stay out of the relationship. You always think it is going to get better, if only I do this. Sounds crazy but it is, but the abused does not realize it.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@Goodie2shoes wrote:
Some may have read about it in the news the past couple of days. A Husband and wife along with 3 of their 6 children were on the highway, he supposedly forced her to get in the car. She had asked him for a divorce. The 2 little boys (ages 2 and 3) were in the back, Mom was in the front holding her 8 month old son. She managed to jump out of the car ( I think he had slowed down for some reason, all facts are still not clear) He told her he would kill her and as she tried to get away, he shot at her missing the mom but hitting the baby. The baby died. There was a Amber alert as safety for the 2 boys was a big concern but he apparently dropped them off at his mom's home. After a night's search for him, he turned himself in. This is such a horrific crime and I hope he never see's the light of day ever again. This guy had a history of crimes, had been wanted for a parole violation since 2013. He had a previous 18 year prison sentence from a few years back but had been released after 6 months in prison. I have a 7 month old grandson who is healthy and happy, laughs out loud and is a very busy boy. My heart just breaks for that mother. I just get emotional thinking of this awful crime, just had to vent and thanks for reading my post.

Was he that hard to find that nothing was done re: the parole violation??? Give me a break.

*********************
Keepin' it real.