Stumped! What Would You Do...Wedding? - Page 5

pitdakota · ‎03-16-2010

@Yardlie Since this individual is a good friend of your daughter's I would be in the camp of sending a nice card with a gift card enclosed.

By the way, I had a friend that remarried her husband after being divorced from him for around 5 years. When they remarried, it was a small civil ceremony with no invitations to anything, so that is different from your siutation. However, they were married for some time after that and had 2 children. Unfortunately, she passed away when she was in her late 30s and left young children after being diagnosed with a rare cancer that was not detected until too late. I like to think that the last years she had were happy years since she was very happy after remarrying her husband and absolutely adored her children.

One never knows what will actually happen, even when it seems it is against all odds.

* Freedom has a taste the protected will never know *

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

Wow! ITA with others that this is definitely nervy and one for the books.

That they had just gotten married THREE YEARS AGO, then pretty quickly got divorced, and are now getting married again - to register for gifts??

I don't even have words for how unbelievable it is that they would register for a bunch of gifts after they JUST got gifts the first time around.

I guess what you would do is what you would do, and it's not for me to say. What I would do is probably ignore the whole thing. I would have already given the two of them a gift and wished them well, the first time.

IMO, this is just way beyond the pale. Just when you think you've seen the most outrageous wedding-related stuff, there's this. SMH big time.

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

@Melania wrote:
@Brinklii wrote:
@lolakimono ... I think we sort of have to attend since my daughter will be one of the attendants at her friend's wedding...plus we see her all the time. We will attend the reception...not the service itself.

I'm still thinking of the best choice, but am still leaning toward just a modest gift card and personal note. I can't believe that she would expect another large gift...especially since her parents refuse to pay for the second reception. However, I know that the millenials have different expectations than people my age do.
Being a millennial has nothing to do with having no common sense.

She wants the fairy tale which goes way back. Obviously she has ignored the reality around her and how that doesn't always work. Even more so with the same guy who she couldn't stand before. This girl is destined for disaster and this time she'll have little ones to take care of with no regard for them. She is beyond selfish.
I bet she expects her mama to rescue her yet again.

You are right to get her a small something because she is your daughter's best friend. She doesn't deserve it but you are taking the high road.

Yes to this! I see millenials get blamed for a lot of things, but lacking common sense knows no age, race, or creed. The lack of common sense is an equal opportunity issue that surely dates back to the first humans.

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debic · ‎09-02-2010

I personally would feel no obligation to attend or give a gift.

3 years is way too soon to expect anything IMO.

~~
*Off The Deep End~A very short trip for some!*

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

Oh good grief.

Why doesn't she just have her small private ceremony and call it done? Why must there always be a party attached?

If she wants another reception, the invitations should state No Gifts. Her current plans makes her look really tacky. May-be in today's society she doesn't recognize that.

If invited, I would attend the service only, present them with a nice card wishing them a wonderful future. I would not attend the reception. Just because your daughter is an attendant shouldn't have any bearing on your attendance.

I would really be curious to know how the parents of this couple feel. If it were my son/daughter, even though they are adults, I would have to sit them down and discuss how this comes off to other people.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Brinklii wrote:
This is almost too weird to believe. Would appreciate your opinions. My daughter's friend (who is now 25) is remarrying the same man she married three years ago. She had a huge wedding then, and we gave a lovely gift since we knew her most of her life.

She and her husband hardly even lived together after their first wedding. They were together about four months, and she was constantly coming home to visit mama...without her husband. Sometimes they would both come home. She would stay with her parents, and he would stay with his parents. Anyway, they were divorced by the time they should have been married 9-10 months.

Now, we received another invitation to her wedding...to the same man! My daughter said that her friend feels that her biological clock is ticking away, and she hasn't met anyone else who she wants to marry. They are having a private ceremony with the justice of the peace. A couple weeks later, they will have a big reception for everyone to attend. Her parents said they refuse to pay for the second reception. He is a nice man, but she just seems desperate.

My daughter said they have registered for gifts at several large department stores. My husband thinks we should not give another gift. I think we should give something modest, but not as large as we gave the first time...if for no other reason than she is my daughter's dear friend. My daughter thinks her friend is making another mistake but thinks we should still give a gift.

What would you do? Thanks!

@Yardlie

You don't have to be psychic to see where this is going. This young woman is a FLAKE.

So this is prompted in part because of her ticking biological clock? Too bad you can't give her something to shut off that clock!

I guess that giving her a gift certificate for her divorce attorney's services is out of the question? lol

jaxs mom · ‎04-18-2012

@ChynnaBlue wrote:
@Melania wrote:
@Brinklii wrote:
@lolakimono ... I think we sort of have to attend since my daughter will be one of the attendants at her friend's wedding...plus we see her all the time. We will attend the reception...not the service itself.

I'm still thinking of the best choice, but am still leaning toward just a modest gift card and personal note. I can't believe that she would expect another large gift...especially since her parents refuse to pay for the second reception. However, I know that the millenials have different expectations than people my age do.
Being a millennial has nothing to do with having no common sense.

She wants the fairy tale which goes way back. Obviously she has ignored the reality around her and how that doesn't always work. Even more so with the same guy who she couldn't stand before. This girl is destined for disaster and this time she'll have little ones to take care of with no regard for them. She is beyond selfish.
I bet she expects her mama to rescue her yet again.

You are right to get her a small something because she is your daughter's best friend. She doesn't deserve it but you are taking the high road.

Yes to this! I see millenials get blamed for a lot of things, but lacking common sense knows no age, race, or creed. The lack of common sense is an equal opportunity issue that surely dates back to the first humans.

I wonder how much the posters here would appreciate generalizations about their demographic. hmmmmm

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@Allegheny wrote:
Oh good grief.

Why doesn't she just have her small private ceremony and call it done? Why must there always be a party attached?

If she wants another reception, the invitations should state No Gifts. Her current plans makes her look really tacky. May-be in today's society she doesn't recognize that.

If invited, I would attend the service only, present them with a nice card wishing them a wonderful future. I would not attend the reception. Just because your daughter is an attendant shouldn't have any bearing on your attendance.

I would really be curious to know how the parents of this couple feel. If it were my son/daughter, even though they are adults, I would have to sit them down and discuss how this comes off to other people.

@Allegheny

I think the parents made their position clear by refusing to pay for another wedding and reception.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

I'd send a card, but would wait until after the reception. They just might cancel their courthouse marriage between now and then. If you are absolutely drawn to giving a gift, include a small gift card, and not necessarily from any of the stores on their registry.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

Melania · ‎06-12-2013

@jaxs mom wrote:
@ChynnaBlue wrote:
@Melania wrote:
@Brinklii wrote:
@lolakimono ... I think we sort of have to attend since my daughter will be one of the attendants at her friend's wedding...plus we see her all the time. We will attend the reception...not the service itself.

I'm still thinking of the best choice, but am still leaning toward just a modest gift card and personal note. I can't believe that she would expect another large gift...especially since her parents refuse to pay for the second reception. However, I know that the millenials have different expectations than people my age do.
Being a millennial has nothing to do with having no common sense.

She wants the fairy tale which goes way back. Obviously she has ignored the reality around her and how that doesn't always work. Even more so with the same guy who she couldn't stand before. This girl is destined for disaster and this time she'll have little ones to take care of with no regard for them. She is beyond selfish.
I bet she expects her mama to rescue her yet again.

You are right to get her a small something because she is your daughter's best friend. She doesn't deserve it but you are taking the high road.

Yes to this! I see millenials get blamed for a lot of things, but lacking common sense knows no age, race, or creed. The lack of common sense is an equal opportunity issue that surely dates back to the first humans.
I wonder how much the posters here would appreciate generalizations about their demographic. hmmmmm

I so agree!!

How about the parents who never said no or really talked to her about this. Many parents did and do that. Now we hear them complaining about this generation when it was their doing. Ugh.

How's that for a generalization about the previous generation? LOL