Community Chat

[Deb1010again]

On 2/18/2014 esmerelda said:

Deb1010again...loved your #3 post above. You're a very kind person.

Thanks, esmerelda. Right back at you!

[PIT-HAG Melissa]

On 2/18/2014 ~moxie~ said:

I have my dogs so I am not allowed to get lonely. I miss my husband but I have a lot of friends and family. But without my dogs there would be a bigger hole in my heart. There is something about having a pet that loves you unconditionally and is always there for you that can fill that emptiness in your heart.

[------]

I think it depends on the individual and their outlook on life.

One of my neighbors lost her husband to a traffic accident when she was in her 20's. She never had children and never remarried. She's 92, still active and doesn't have time to be lonely.

[ennui1]

On 2/18/2014 QVC Shopper said:

On 2/18/2014 guatmum said:

Brinklii, I totally agree - being lonely and being alone are DEFINITELY different things. In fact, most people who have been single all of their lives are not lonely at all. People who are lonely tend to be those who were in a relationship and it has ended somehow. Loneliness is all about a lack of social connections, not so much having another warm body in the room. That's why people should never assume that someone who is single/alone is lonely and that someone who is married/couple isn't.

Statistics show married men outlive single men.

And I think single women outlive married men, so where does that leave us?

KittyLouWhoToo, it's called "broken heart syndrome," and you can Google it.

[Catitude]

Broken heart syndrome is not the same as someone dying from years of loneliness, isolation, lack of a support system, no family support or friendships.

People can die from broken heart syndrome even with an excellent support system in place.

[biancardi]

On 2/18/2014 Love Roses said:

Probably so but it's different from person to person. Being alone and being lonely are two different things.

agreed. We have a thread here about a poster thinking about divorce. She is married and her description of her marriage seems so lonely.

[halfpint1]

You can be lonely even if married especially when he doesn't talk. You spend more money too at least I do. My bachelor son likes to shop at thrifts and I go along just to do something. I also don't drive. Friends are hard to find.

[QueenDanceALot]

On 2/18/2014 ennui1 said:

On 2/18/2014 QVC Shopper said:

On 2/18/2014 guatmum said:

Brinklii, I totally agree - being lonely and being alone are DEFINITELY different things. In fact, most people who have been single all of their lives are not lonely at all. People who are lonely tend to be those who were in a relationship and it has ended somehow. Loneliness is all about a lack of social connections, not so much having another warm body in the room. That's why people should never assume that someone who is single/alone is lonely and that someone who is married/couple isn't.

Statistics show married men outlive single men.

And I think single women outlive married men, so where does that leave us?

KittyLouWhoToo, it's called "broken heart syndrome," and you can Google it.

That's it, ennui. Thanks! I remember the story talking about actual changes in the heart muscle. Very interesting.

[chrystaltree]

Oh, I do believe that. We all need a reason to get out of bed in the morning, we need a reason to get through the day. For some elders who don't have friends, family, neighbors, a church family; they have no reason to keep living. There's nothing to look forward to, no companionship, no one to just "be" with. I agree, being alone and being lonely are two very different things. Some people are alone because they like their solitude and others live alone but they have outside interests and activities. Even if it's just through reading or watching tv. They are living the way they choose to live. The truly lonely didn't choose to be alone in life, they didn't choose the emptiness. It's just where life brought them.

[gazelle77]

My Husband's Mother who is 80, wants to live alone in her own home since her Husband died a year ago. She was in assisted living for 8 months and hated it. She moved back into her house. She mall walks and has neighbors who check on her. But, she does not want to live with other people.