Community Chat

[catwhisperer]

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@qualitygal wrote:

I'd say, a strong woman weathers the storms of life with grace, dignity, and yet still does no harm by her mouth.  What she says.  A strong woman doesn't have a bad mouth.  She can be honest, without taking anyone out.  

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@qualitygal ....ITA with what you said. Unfortunately, I am lacking when it comes to weathering storms with grace. When I get frustrated, my emotions come out and I let it fly verbally.

[JaneMarple]

I've learned to choose my battles and it's been working very well. 

[suzyQ3]

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@JaneMarple wrote:

I've learned to choose my battles and it's been working very well. 

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@JaneMarple, an admirable quality. :-)

[qvcaddition]

@suzyQ3 

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

It seems that we have differing opinions as to what constitutes a "strong" women. I have always thought that even calling a women "strong" is outdated. We don't call men "strong."

Be that as it may, my idea of a strong woman is one who is not fearful when it comes to speaking her mind, doesn't allow her gender to dictate how she lives her life, tries to be competent and independent, and makes life choices based on desire rather than fitting into a particular gender-related box.

This issue arose for me after reading a post today that indicated a preference for a strong woman who was not overly aggressive or assertive. To me, those two adjectives, when applied to women, are subtle reminders of our "place" in life: don't be too loud or forceful because it is not becoming for a woman.

That's my take. What's yours?

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ITA.  I do not care for wishy washy,(Old term) women that can't take care of themselves.  Married or not, learn how to take care of yourself in case your mate goes, divorced or death.  I feel men should do the same. 

Most women don't seem to like your term of strong.  Especially in my generation, 80's age or the generation 10 years older than me.  I have two friends in 90's.  Both will not ask Dr. questions, what he tells them goes, no questions.  If someone walks in their house and it raining outside, they will not ask them to please take off their shoes.  You get the idea.  Too them I am too strong, not rude.  I will say words nicely, but not afraid to say something.  I do not feel I am inferior to any man, but equal.  Ha, some, I can run circles around.  I learn how to do things when My husband was alive, having him show me.  Now, I can fix a lot of things that go wrong in the house.  I will be up front with people and expect them to be upfront with me, but not always the case.  I have been on my own for a very long time and it made me strong and independent.

[Nonametoday]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@Nonametoday wrote:

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@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:

The double standard is alive and well, sadly it always will be.

I've had problems in my life and I still do because of the sexist ways in which I was raised...to not be assertive is one of them. It's so painful to not feel you're worth standing up for yourself. 

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@Greeneyedlady21   And we should be able to be assertive.  It sometimes is difficuit for ladies to be assertive.  We were raised to be either meek or mean.  Those of us with good upbringing chose meek, unfortunately.  I wish I had my mother's asssertive genes.  She was never aggressive or mean.  She was never common but she walked into the bank and said "I want a loan."  She got a loan.  She walked in the bank and said "I want to buy that 3000 acres of land."  She was asked what she was going to do with it while the banker was writing her a check.  I either come off too meek or too aggressive and I do wish I had that never complain, never explain gene that makes women who succeed on their own assertive.  I think part of that is in our DNA.  My sisters have it.  My daughter has it.  I don't have it.  I appear mousey or confrontational.

ag·gres·sive

/əˈɡresiv 

Ready or likely to attack or confront; characterized by or resulting from aggression.

"he's very uncooperative and aggressive"

Similar:

hostile; belligerent; bellicose; antagonistic; truculent

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@Nonametoday, I thought you might enjoy the wonderful world of meanings. Here are the synonyms for "aggressive" from the MW dictionary. Quite the gamut, eh?

Synonyms

• ambitious,
• assertive,
• enterprising,
• fierce,
• go-getting,
• high-pressure,
• in-your-face,
• militant,
• pushy,
• self-asserting,
• self-assertive

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@suzyQ3   I used the Merrian-Webster.

[Nonametoday]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

I've overlooked another hallmark of a strong woman: She doesn't allow her identity to depend upon anyone else; she doesn't let herself become an appendage to anyone.

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@suzyQ3   Overbearing is another symptom of aggressive women.  Some people just cannot let go. Like an angry dog shaking a bone, showing their aggressive side.

[jeanlake]

Qualities of strength aren't about gender for me. The things I admire in strong men are things I admire in strong women. Character, confidence, autonomy, assertiveness, honesty, loyalty, compassion, desire to learn and grow, grace, patience, self control, kindness and never remain static regarding personal growth. Know when to speak and know when to be silent. I think about Abraham Maslow's top level of personal development / growth  pyramid - self actualized people - when I think about good and strong people.    

[Ms tyrion2]

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@Nonametoday wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

I've overlooked another hallmark of a strong woman: She doesn't allow her identity to depend upon anyone else; she doesn't let herself become an appendage to anyone.

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@suzyQ3   Overbearing is another symptom of aggressive women.  Some people just cannot let go. Like an angry dog shaking a bone, showing their aggressive side.

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Why are only women who are overbearing deemed aggressive?  How do you characterize an overbearing man?

Do I sense a not so subtle slap at SuzyQ, @Nonametoday ?

[rrpell]

I find a “strong woman” is one who has the ability to keep her composure while articulating a reasonable rebuttal

[Foxxee]

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@Sooner wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

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@suzyQ3 

I think it is time to stop defining ourselves by gender.  How I am shouldn't be classified as how I am as a woman (as a woman is a phrase I HATE).

People should be accepted for who they are--how kind, mean, talented, productive, lazy, smart, assertive, or anything else.  

Be who you want to be--as a human being.  Quit worrying about who or what holds you back, or who won't let you do this or that.  Spend more time figuring how to get where you want to be in life, and more importantly WHO you want to be and get to work on it! 

People can let all sorts of things hold them back, and they can do anything to climb to the top, or anything in between.  We have a lot of choice about our lives.  More than we might think.  But it isn't always easy. 

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@Sooner, I wish that it were so simple -- all the shoulds you mention -- and maybe it is for some. But sometimes "all sorts of things" do truly hold people back. When it comes to power, the field is often not level.

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@suzyQ3 The field is never level.  Right now it isn't level for white males in many cases.  It isn't level for anyone who doesn't have a buddy at work; or who is overweight or whatever.

Life isn't fair, life is a struggle for most of us and an impossible struggle for many.

But in the final analysis, gender, race, weight or whatever, it is up to you and you alone to take hold and make a life the best you can.  If you expect it to be fair or to be given things, it isn't a reality for most of us.  

I had a lot of really hard things to overcome in my life.  It was up to me what it was worth to work hard, get an education and be something more than most people thought I'd be.  And to me, a level playing field isn't in the cards, so why worry about it?  Do what you gotta do!  I simply don't believe a level playing field exists in this world.  You have to play the hand you are dealt.  

@Sooner 

Yes!

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