Re: Strong women

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

A strong woman doesn't have anything to prove.

Hippiified · ‎03-21-2017

Conviction and attitude. E.g. Don't mess with me.

pitdakota · ‎03-16-2010

Boy, what a thought provoking question @suzyQ3! I may have to get another cup of coffee to really think the issue through clearly! But initially, I have to say I had not thought of calling women strong as outdated. But you make very good points.

I guess I think that the thought of a strong woman to me, encompasses many various components that depends on the situation at the time. No doubt that I think there are times when women need to be assertive and even aggressive in certain situations. I don't see that as a negative.

But, I don't see assertiveness or aggressiveness in certain situations as undesirable qualities and would not equate it with being overbearing. I somewhat lump "whining" into the overbearing category. Whether it be a man or a woman whining about something.

Behind assertiveness is a purpose in order to accomplish a task or a goal. Whining isn't goal oriented & only satisfies a singular need.

I know you will be surprised, (LOL) but I can't help but think of Florence Nightingale. She was a mover and a shaker in her time that really changed the face of nursing that earned respect from her male counterparts at the time - physicians. She had a purpose and set out to accomplish that purpose. I think the majority of nurses today really don't understand what all she accomplished and how much she changed what we now call nursing.

At the time in England, what we consider nurses were women facing sentences for some crime they supposedly had committed. Instead of being sentenced to serve time in someplace like Newgate prison, they were ordered to serve time performing duties in hospitals. Nightingale was focused, committed, and set out with a conviction to change that situation. And she did, while all along the way she actually ended up earning respect from physicians at the time. No small feat for sure.

I think what I view as a strong woman is someone who is focused, does not cower in the face of adversity, committed to accomplishing certain tasks/goals, and yet is human so subject to the frailties of being human.

* Freedom has a taste the protected will never know *

ScarletDove · ‎07-11-2010

@Ruby Laine You just described my mother...one amazing woman and I was very fortunate to have such a great example to guide me to adulthood!

Drythe · ‎07-09-2011

@Sooner wrote:
@suzyQ3 wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
@suzyQ3
I think it is time to stop defining ourselves by gender. How I am shouldn't be classified as how I am as a woman (as a woman is a phrase I HATE).

People should be accepted for who they are--how kind, mean, talented, productive, lazy, smart, assertive, or anything else.

Be who you want to be--as a human being. Quit worrying about who or what holds you back, or who won't let you do this or that. Spend more time figuring how to get where you want to be in life, and more importantly WHO you want to be and get to work on it!

People can let all sorts of things hold them back, and they can do anything to climb to the top, or anything in between. We have a lot of choice about our lives. More than we might think. But it isn't always easy.
@Sooner, I wish that it were so simple -- all the shoulds you mention -- and maybe it is for some. But sometimes "all sorts of things" do truly hold people back. When it comes to power, the field is often not level.
@suzyQ3 The field is never level. Right now it isn't level for white males in many cases. It isn't level for anyone who doesn't have a buddy at work; or who is overweight or whatever.

Life isn't fair, life is a struggle for most of us and an impossible struggle for many.

But in the final analysis, gender, race, weight or whatever, it is up to you and you alone to take hold and make a life the best you can. If you expect it to be fair or to be given things, it isn't a reality for most of us.

I had a lot of really hard things to overcome in my life. It was up to me what it was worth to work hard, get an education and be something more than most people thought I'd be. And to me, a level playing field isn't in the cards, so why worry about it? Do what you gotta do! I simply don't believe a level playing field exists in this world. You have to play the hand you are dealt.

@Sooner

Regarding your first point, I know it is in fashion, but statistics for income, health care, employment, personal property ownership, and representation, don’t support it. White men still lead disproportionately.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Drythe wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
@suzyQ3 wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
@suzyQ3
I think it is time to stop defining ourselves by gender. How I am shouldn't be classified as how I am as a woman (as a woman is a phrase I HATE).

People should be accepted for who they are--how kind, mean, talented, productive, lazy, smart, assertive, or anything else.

Be who you want to be--as a human being. Quit worrying about who or what holds you back, or who won't let you do this or that. Spend more time figuring how to get where you want to be in life, and more importantly WHO you want to be and get to work on it!

People can let all sorts of things hold them back, and they can do anything to climb to the top, or anything in between. We have a lot of choice about our lives. More than we might think. But it isn't always easy.
@Sooner, I wish that it were so simple -- all the shoulds you mention -- and maybe it is for some. But sometimes "all sorts of things" do truly hold people back. When it comes to power, the field is often not level.
@suzyQ3 The field is never level. Right now it isn't level for white males in many cases. It isn't level for anyone who doesn't have a buddy at work; or who is overweight or whatever.

Life isn't fair, life is a struggle for most of us and an impossible struggle for many.

But in the final analysis, gender, race, weight or whatever, it is up to you and you alone to take hold and make a life the best you can. If you expect it to be fair or to be given things, it isn't a reality for most of us.

I had a lot of really hard things to overcome in my life. It was up to me what it was worth to work hard, get an education and be something more than most people thought I'd be. And to me, a level playing field isn't in the cards, so why worry about it? Do what you gotta do! I simply don't believe a level playing field exists in this world. You have to play the hand you are dealt.
@Sooner

Regarding your first point, I know it is in fashion, but statistics for income, health care, employment, personal property ownership, and representation, don’t support it. White men still lead disproportionately.

@Drythe White men have been in the business longer, and a lot of them earned their way to a lot of money. They have run successful corporations and done the travel and the long hours etc. Don't discount someone's worth or contribution because they are a white male. That is wrong.

Women can't be expected to rise to the top immediately. It will take a working generation or several. They can't rise to the top if they expect it to be given to them; and if they can't pay as a team and respect their colleagues and earn their chops in the trenches.

You can make little kids play together, but they have to play together enough to like, respect and trust one another.

I worked for 45 years with about 75 percent men. Never had any trouble, never was treated as anything other than one of the team. But that also was my expectation. I am a person, they are people, I set the tone for that and never had a conflict with any of them over gender. Neither did MOST of the other women. The ones who came expecting to succeed and be part of the team.

If we want to see race and gender and religious beliefs and all that we will. If we want to see people, we'll pretty much get along. I truly believe it. I think all we are doing today is driving a huge wedge among people because that's what we focus on. It breaks my heart.

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

Strong women don't hate strong men.

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

Drythe · ‎07-09-2011

@Sooner wrote:
@Drythe wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
@suzyQ3 wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
@suzyQ3
I think it is time to stop defining ourselves by gender. How I am shouldn't be classified as how I am as a woman (as a woman is a phrase I HATE).

People should be accepted for who they are--how kind, mean, talented, productive, lazy, smart, assertive, or anything else.

Be who you want to be--as a human being. Quit worrying about who or what holds you back, or who won't let you do this or that. Spend more time figuring how to get where you want to be in life, and more importantly WHO you want to be and get to work on it!

People can let all sorts of things hold them back, and they can do anything to climb to the top, or anything in between. We have a lot of choice about our lives. More than we might think. But it isn't always easy.
@Sooner, I wish that it were so simple -- all the shoulds you mention -- and maybe it is for some. But sometimes "all sorts of things" do truly hold people back. When it comes to power, the field is often not level.
@suzyQ3 The field is never level. Right now it isn't level for white males in many cases. It isn't level for anyone who doesn't have a buddy at work; or who is overweight or whatever.

Life isn't fair, life is a struggle for most of us and an impossible struggle for many.

But in the final analysis, gender, race, weight or whatever, it is up to you and you alone to take hold and make a life the best you can. If you expect it to be fair or to be given things, it isn't a reality for most of us.

I had a lot of really hard things to overcome in my life. It was up to me what it was worth to work hard, get an education and be something more than most people thought I'd be. And to me, a level playing field isn't in the cards, so why worry about it? Do what you gotta do! I simply don't believe a level playing field exists in this world. You have to play the hand you are dealt.
@Sooner

Regarding your first point, I know it is in fashion, but statistics for income, health care, employment, personal property ownership, and representation, don’t support it. White men still lead disproportionately.

@Drythe White men have been in the business longer, and a lot of them earned their way to a lot of money. They have run successful corporations and done the travel and the long hours etc. Don't discount someone's worth or contribution because they are a white male. That is wrong.

Women can't be expected to rise to the top immediately. It will take a working generation or several. They can't rise to the top if they expect it to be given to them; and if they can't pay as a team and respect their colleagues and earn their chops in the trenches.

You can make little kids play together, but they have to play together enough to like, respect and trust one another.

I worked for 45 years with about 75 percent men. Never had any trouble, never was treated as anything other than one of the team. But that also was my expectation. I am a person, they are people, I set the tone for that and never had a conflict with any of them over gender. Neither did MOST of the other women. The ones who came expecting to succeed and be part of the team.

If we want to see race and gender and religious beliefs and all that we will. If we want to see people, we'll pretty much get along. I truly believe it. I think all we are doing today is driving a huge wedge among people because that's what we focus on. It breaks my heart.

@Sooner

Agree with everything you’ve said in this post. Your final paragraph is dear to my heart.

My reply to you was in response to what I thought was comparing and focusing on how this, or that group is different, and needs this or that thing that no one else does. Nope, no level playing field, I just wish could see ourselves on the SAME field, level or not.

I absolutely agree and think that we are very plan fully being directed into smaller more disparate groups - much easier to manage; it Guts me. Have not given up Hope that we can see one another as People, warts and all. But, sadly, that light seems much less bright.

It breaks my heart as well.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras