Community Chat

[Preds]

You and your stepmother are going thru some very hard times right now.  She may be venting in some way and you happen to be the one catching it.  Her side of the family may be catching different things, but complaints of something.

My stepmother is having a very hard time with the passing of my dad. She has become rude, distant and not the woman we've known for years.  She is not even close to your stepmoms age.  Grief, stress, and everything has worn her down.  You can't know what is in her mind, nor her heart.  She is older and stressed. 

[Miranda1550]

Tell her when you want her opinion you will ask her.  She is a mean  woman.

[nun ya]

Good Lord, you are a saint.

I'd tell her to go pound sand.

[SaRina]

As tempting and ego-satisfying as it might be to tell this woman off, don't.

Be the bigger person, don't act hastily with your mouth, rather think with your head.  Remember, for every action there is a reaction.  You both love the same man, her husband, your father.  You may need her as an ally, you both may need each other at some point.

Wishing you all the best at this difficult time.

[jubilant]

I think, if she says it again, I would kindly say something like...."You know, it really doesn't bother me at all.  I'm not sure why it bothers you so much.

 Personally, I think it adds character to my face".  I would say it with a cheerful confident voice and leave it there.  If she comes back with a rude remark just dismiss it as if you didn't even hear her.

[hennypenny]

I would be cautious with her. You don't want to jeopardize being able to be with your father.

[NativeJax]

@hennypenny

Yes, I am afraid of that as well. She was a little better tonight at dinner. She made no mention, maybe she got the picture finally.

[hennypenny]

That's a relief. 

[sallybusky]

(1) Tell her you had it frozen by your doctor, and he suggested it would "fall off" at any time. Put a small bandaid on your face to back up this little fib. (2) Invite Dad and Wicked Stepmother over for dinner; prepare something "busy" like minestrone or ham and beans. (3) Midway through dinner fake a look of alarm, give a small squeal, touch your face with one hand, while vigorously poking through your food, as if you're in search of something with the other.

P.S. Seriously, though, I wish your dad a speedy recovery!

[esmerelda]

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@NativeJax wrote:
@MsX

Unfortunately I am ignoring it because my dad is very sick and don't want him upset if there is any turmoil. I am recently laid off almost 6 weeks and because I am not working yet I have been helping more so I haven't until recently experienced how mean spirited she truly can be. I just keep telling myself it must be because she is in some stage due to my fathers illness so I keep trying to ignore it.

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You should be ignoring it because her opinion of it doesn't really matter, right?  And because it's the right, sane, peaceful thing to do.  Have you told/asked her to not mention it again?  Something like, "You've expressed your opinion and you know mine about this subject.  There's no need to mention it again."  And if she does mention it again, do completely and totally ignore it...like you don't even hear it.