Stepmother: hurtful - Page 4

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

@momtochloe wrote:
@NativeJax I once had my ex-mother-in-law tell me I wasn't "pretty" enough to be in their family . . . my then husband was in the next room and I saw his shoulders slump as she flung that at me. I always knew she was a bully but I always thought she knew better than to come after me. I politely told her that even "pretty" people had problems and I was quite satisified with myself. You could hear a pin drop in the room as no one ever spoke to her like that.

Clearly this woman learned at an early age to attack rather than defend her rather hollow insides. You are a good woman who is helping your dad through a difficult time. Try not to rise to the bait as that is what she is looking for.

@Hi @momtochloe! How you doin'? This reminded me of the time I was fired from a job in a 4-person office. I was young.... and attractive, I might add, lol. My work was exemplary so when I asked why I was being fired, the boss stammered and said, "I don't like your face." Have you ever? lol I was stunned at the time. In shock. Nothing to say. I have to admit it was hurtful, but I told myself it was coming from a sour and bitter person, and got over it pretty quickly.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

OP: Since we don't know the situation like you do, only you can decide whether it would make sense to confront her. If things are critical right now, I'd hold off because that's the last thing anyone needs. It all depends on exactly what's happening. There are times when it's best to just ignore something, especially if you don't see someone for extended periods most of the time.

Preds · ‎12-17-2012

@Marp wrote:
@KathyPet wrote:
take her to the side outside of you father's hearing and simply tell her that you are fed up with the discussion about your moles and that you will not listen to another word about it. Why are you venting here? Speak up for yourself and tell HER.

I would guess she is venting here instead of starting a confrontation with her step-mother out of consideration and concern for her dad who could end up caught in the middle.

Often, when caring for and being concerned about a loved one one has to swallow their words to keep the peace. OP's dad should be her first consideration.

Exactly.

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

nana59 · ‎05-12-2012

I once had a wicked step-mother like that......haven't spoken to her since the day I buried my father......

riley1 · ‎03-10-2010

Hi @NativeJax - sorry to hear about your Dad and what you are going through. In the case of the stepmother, ignoring it would be good, up until the point she started bringing it up in front of other people. After that, I agree with @Noel7 - you should tell her how you feel and you are done hearing about it. JMO

JustJazzmom · ‎03-09-2010

I guess there is some truth to wicked stepmother fairy tales.

☼The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. GBShaw☼

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

@NativeJax

As young girls and women, we are taught to take it, to smile and not stand up for ourselves. Don't cause waves, don't make trouble.

Unfortunately, there are those who take advantage of that kind of learned behavior.

NJ, you mentioned not wanting to upset your father and I totally understand that. But... that's also one of the tricks to keep us quiet and taking it without saying a thing. Someone else suggested taking your stepmom aside, in another room from your dad, I think that's a good suggestion.

Maybe, just maybe, she doesn't know her words hurt you, but she will never know unless you say something. You can keep it short and simple by simply letting her know it hurts you every time she brings it up and you would appreciate it if your beauty mark/mole was not mentioned again.

MomCat · ‎09-12-2010

I'm sure there is more to your step's rudeness than this incident. Ignoring people like this is probably best unless you can stand up to her where you put a nail in it, if you know what I mean. If that's not possible, let it go! It ain't worth it!!

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

She is rude.

I don't care for skin tags, moles etc on me, so I would remove it. (not saying you should)

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I'm assuming you aren't 12 years old but you certainly are acting like it. She won't stop because you have done or said anything to make her stop. Wait until she says something when there are other people around. Then act like an adult and in a firm...loud voice; say STOP IT NOW! This is my face and what is on it is none of your business. I don't need your advice and sick of your rudeness. Do not ever mention this to me again. She'll be mortified and the other people in the room will respect you. If you can't do that. just make peace with her comments. Accept that she is a bully and you are willing victim.