Community Chat

[jubilant]

I am a little surprised that people are judging this stepmother so harshly....even after op said she has changed in recent months.  It sounds to me that this has not been a problem for long.  I think the first couple of times....... you give someone the benefit of the doubt.

  Her husband is very ill and she is not getting any younger either.  This is not to make excuses for bad behavior.....but because this does not to appear to be a normal lifetime behavior....I would start there.  One needs to take all these things into account before they pounce on someone.

I have lived around many older people all my life.  My own Dad said things like this.  It got so you never knew what was going to come out of his mouth.  Once we got him on some medicine for depression and for stage 1 dementia....he pretty much went back to his normal self. 

Do you have to put up with this behavior forever? No, I don't think so and I would hope not.  If the opportunity arises....you might like to gently suggest you have noticed she seems somewhat stressed out lately and you are concerned.  That might be all it takes!  Sometimes with older people you take babysteps. If she becomes intolerable, I think for your sake and for your fathers sake you can't ignore it any longer. If she continues to treat you this way....she very well could treat your father the same in time and you don't want that.

 I admire the fact that you don't want to lash right back at her for your Dad's sake.  There is a right way and a wrong way to respond to rudeness or continued abuse.  If you respond cruelly and harshly what makes you any different?  You may need to be firm if it continues and take some different approaches.... but one can do it in a firm but caring way.

[SaRina]

Great post @jubilant

It's easiest for people to pounce on someone......  It's also an extreme reaction considering we do not know the people involved at all or the history.  It takes a lot more thought, kindness, and self-restraint to find a better way to accomplish something.

[qvcaddition]

I have one also left side of face.  Kaiser won,t remove it, not a cleaner mole.

[CouponQueen]

I don't understand why people like Kathypet find the need to be so rude to others? She was VENTING to US..if you do not want to listen then move along and do not read but I certainly think you have taken advantage of the same thing a few times and come here to vent about various things instead of the person/entity that you were venting about.

I do not for the life of me understand why people have to be so rude and nasty to others? If you do not like the vent ..there is such a great option of moving along and not reading it. Why go to the length of making a rude comment kicking her when she is already feeling down.

It is hard not to remember nics who do this to others...then you see them posting and take the adult road and ignore them instead of giving them a taste of their own hurtful medicine.