Community Chat

[Cakers3]

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@butterfly123 wrote:

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@RedTop wrote:

Let’s not forget “Bless your heart!”

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@RedTop

“Bless your heart” has a different meaning where I grew up.

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@butterfly123  Agree.  It means two entirely different things depending upon where it is said and why.

I always took it as a nice phrase until I saw it used here and a poster was severely reprimanded for saying it.  Of course. 

[YorkieonmyPillow]

I'd take most of these as compliments and not think anything about it. I guess I have a thick skin......but really if someone is that paranoid or that touchy, they won't have to worry about compliments as no one will be providing any due to the receiver's prickly nature...........JMO

[BirkiLady]

@Cakers3  I would think the tone of voice would determine what "Bless Your Heart" actually meant. I knew my grandmother's comment was sincere; yet as a child I always thought my Aunt was being "snarky" with the same phrase!

But I had never heard there was a different "meaning" until this thread. That was happening in the early 1950's in my memories. Clearly I was aware of the difference in tones of voices.

In those days, children didn't ask questions about adult conversations (at least I didn't).    

[bonnielu]

I disagree.   It all comes down to the intent.  Was the person giving a compliment and shouldn't that be valued.  Not everyone has the gift of wording everything correctly.  Any of those would have made me feel like the person cared enough to say something.  

[Daisy Sunflower]

If you know the person and the way they are, you can usually tell if they meant to compliment you or not.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

"You look pretty today!"

   - "Are you saying I didn't yesterday?"

Who thinks like this????? 

[DiAnne]

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@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

"You look pretty today!"

   - "Are you saying I didn't yesterday?"

Who thinks like this????? 

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Unhappy people...

[occasionalrain]

The improper compliments are exactly what the giver of them is thinking. They've never learned to rephrase their thoughts. 

They never learned that comments on a stranger's or accuaintance's  physical appearance are impolite. You can compliment their handbag but not their eyes. 

I don't want to be told I look like some other person even an attractive/beautiful actress. 

[cherry]

I honestly think when people tell you how strong you are, during times of duress, they think they are complimenting you. For me, it only made me feel worse, like everyone knew my life was in a bad place, and they were so glad it wasn't them, because who would want to feel this way?

I would much rather they said, this too shall pass, or something that at least ,was a glimmer of  better times to come.

[occasionalrain]

@cherry Better yet, How can I help?