Speaking of Thanksgiving dinner charges-What do yo... - Page 5

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

@sann wrote:
One of my sons sent me a message yesterday about a restaurant near him that he said has the best food. They have a Thanksgiving dinner with all the goodies such as Turkey, Ham, dressing, garlic mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, two loaves of homemade bread, a pumpkin and pecan pie. I'm all in, lets do it..........Plenty of food to feed everyone........

@sann that seems to be the "in thing" now.

Three sets of friends who usually come to our home for Thanksgiving started doing this last year because we are only hosting family.

There are now three sets of 7 and eight and they will be ordering from their favorite restaurants and eating at their homes. Those with kids won't have to pay. The kids eat free and they split the bill evenly. I like that. These people aren't related so they don't mind paying.

We're doing the traditional cooking and eating as always.

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

Hope everyone does have a nice Thanksgiving whether doing nothing special, with just yourself and your own good company and perhaps a four legged or feathered or turtle, lizard, fish, or hermit crab friend or 2 (did I leave any out aside from snake or spider?) or family or a friend or 2

As Tiny Tim said: "God Bless us Everyone!"

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

@on the bay wrote:
Hope everyone does have a nice Thanksgiving whether doing nothing special, with just yourself and your own good company and perhaps a four legged or feathered or turtle, lizard, fish, or hermit crab friend or 2 (did I leave any out aside from snake or spider?) or family or a friend or 2
As Tiny Tim said: "God Bless us Everyone!"

@on the bay and as Sage04 says "May God Bless you and your Family too"

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

@Buffalogal47 wrote:
@CrazyDaisy Expecting guests to pay towards a dinner in someone's home is against every custom of hospitality. An invited guest should never be required to contribute toward a dinner in someone's home. I'm with Sunshine45: if you can't afford to entertain in your home then don't. Go out to eat in a restaurant where everyone pays for their own meal.

Guess people have missed this whole custom of having family holiday dinners catered rather than spending days cooking. Holidays use to be a big "potluck" were no one ate aunt Alice's jello salad and Aunt Jane dried out the Turkey. To order a meal from a restaurant so you can enjoy is at home with your family and friends is a treat. Pitching in a monetary amount is the same as bringing a dish, without the hassle.

Apparently those who cannot afford to host events must rely on others charity to be included in holiday events. Of course there is that "hostess gift" that they must pay for, which in many cases are not wanted. But something some think they must take.

Times are changing, people want to spend time enjoying eachothers company. It is no longer abput cooking all day to get praise for a great dinner. People no longer hang their value on how great a party they can host.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

When did Thanksgiving get so complicated. If someone invited everyone to their house, you assumed they could afford it and wanted to pay for it. Of course you always asked what you could bring. A lot of times in the past when I had family it was started as I will have it out my house and provide the Turkey and dressing and each person was given a choice of what to bring. That was done up front. If someone invites me to their house I am not giving them money to pay for my meal. I will give them a hostess gift or bring what they tell me to bring.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

Actually,this whole magilla is kinda pathetic. If you can't afford to feed them,don't invite. I have never heard of this.

FiddleDeeDee · ‎03-06-2020

My in-laws do a fancy sit-down for Christmas Eve and they pay for it all. Personally, DH and I think many a family member and friends have taken advantage of this as they will bring guests, sit, eat and drink and NEVER bring anything (even a token) and NEVER reciprocate. They are in their mid to late 80's. We know this dinner costs them a LOT due to the courses and what they cook (both are excellent cooks, enjoy it and well....they are old school and will not accept a dime towards the meal (trust me, we have offered both money and assistance......NOT wanted, lol).

Other than them, we always ask if we can bring something when invited to a dinner and only once have we been told "No". It is expected that you will bring something (according to those in my social circle, co-workers and on other forums I frequent). Perhaps it's a generation thing because it doesn't matter how much or how little you make....you're bringing something.

As for paying, when it comes to a LARGE gathering or a holiday event, I always ask. 50-50 split as to whether we pay or not. I don't assume the host is cooking simply due to the time involved and working full-time. For example, a local pie-maker charges $40 and up for her pies. Yes, you could purchase one at Walmart or Publix for less but once you've tasted HER pies, you realize how crappy the store-bought ones are. Add up a few pies and you're over $100. Add in a few turkeys (because a huge one won't fit in the oven), all the sides and yeah, it adds up. Many do cater the side dishes but make the turkey, again, due to time. I know what that costs so.....I expect to pay a little something towards (we all do) when invited to a home that is doing something like this.

Being offended that someone offers to pay towards the meal? Why? I appreciate the offer even when the answer is no.

"Coming to ya from Florida"

sann · ‎05-30-2012

@Iwantcoffee wrote:
@Janey2 wrote:
Never ever would I take money or even offer money to anyone that invited me over for dinner. As a matter of fact I would be highly insulted if anyone offered to give me money when I invited them to my house. They obviously enjoy your company and want to share the holiday. Bring a dessert or a gift, but do not give them money. I never even heard of people thinking to "pay their way" when invited to someone's home.

The money is for the restaurant, not the host. The host is not making the meal or charging a fee, it is the restaurant. Why is that insulting?

Its not insulting people will appreciate your generosity.........

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

There are two Thanksgiving Threads going. One ask the question if it's ok to pay and one wants to know why does she have to pay.

@Duckncoverand her husband were invited but the lady's husband did not tell @Duckncover's husband about the charge which would cover the cost of the food from the restaurant. The wife then called and notified her about the arrangements. I would go because I see nothing wrong with paying. The only problem is that it should have been discussed in the begining.

In @on the bay's case they are related by law. The food will be catered also but in this case I would not ask to pay. I would order some kind of desert and take it. Maybe her daughter and son-in-law will be pitching in with the cost.

Hope everything turns out great and everyone has a grand time.

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

With family members, I feel that is different than friends/acquaintances.

I would chip in financially - maybe a giftcard to the grocery store (or favorite restaurant) tucked inside a Thank You card. And also bring something to eat or drink. I'm happy to help cover the cost of the food when someone is doing all the work and hosting.