Community Chat

[chickenbutt]

Thanks, Sam, Kittymom, and Loves for your kindnesses.  It is much appreciated.

Although I never strive to put the attention on me, I think that sometimes it is beneficial to others to share such personal feelings.  Maybe somebody just doesn't understand another person, or maybe somebody feels the same way and feels alone.

Either way and as much as I'm pretty private, I think there is value to sharing experiences and feelings sometimes, in context.

There is something, or some THINGS, that brought any given person to their behavior and, often, it comes from pain or damage and not necessarily the desire to hurt somebody else. 

[YorkieonmyPillow]

I can't really agree with the OP because I feel if someone really needs love and you show them some, they soak it up like a SPONGE.

Others are just private and/or anti-social or whatever, perhaps don't want to be bothered...who knows. But I don't think that they need love, necessarily. JMHO

[Snowpuppy]

Yorkie, ITA about the "need" for love.

Perhaps they're getting their needs met from another source.

People can cut ties with toxic family members and go on to form incredibly loving families of their own.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

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@Snowpuppy wrote:

Yorkie, ITA about the "need" for love.

Perhaps they're getting their needs met from another source.

People can cut ties with toxic family members and go on to form incredibly loving families of their own.

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True; although to clarify I wasn't insinuating that the OP is "toxic." I just think some people are wired differently and don't care if they see another person or not. They are more independent, or whatever.

I have a brother and a sister that I never hear from and I know I'm not toxic - LOL!

[hckynutjohn]

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@LilacTree wrote:

I saw this in a post this morning and can't remember where.  However, it struck a cord in me, as it is so true of one member of my family, and I find it so sad and tragic.  I do love her, but she won't accept it, and I don't think she has it in her to love me back.

There is one exception, she does love her two children, even though she is hard on them.  I have often found comfort in that.

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I cannot relate to this in any way. Since I have no human children, that may be the reason. I've seen many of my friends go through h**l with their children, but I do not know love has anything to do with their problems.

While I have had some long term separations from 2 of my older sisters, that did not dissolve our love for each other. The instances I mentioned came about from disagreements on other people.One being my mother and the other because of a disagreement with me not wanting to get involved in a divorce proceedings of my niece.

These were measured unfortunately in wasted years. The one concering my mother was while she was still living. I took it upon myself to bring myself and my sister back together before my mother died. She unfortunately could not avoid seeing our problems, and I promised her I would reconcile my differences with my sister, and that is what I did.

I am sorry you are suffering from this one way love issue. I have loved very few people in my rather long life, that too may be part of why I cannot directly relate to your suffering.

My best to you and may this change for you some time in the very near future.  Be well,

This is written to LilacTree

[Vickiv]

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@chickenbutt wrote:

When I read this thread title I actually cried.  I knew exactly who this applied to in my life - ME.

I grew up just trying to survive, so I'm very much non-trusting.  It's like you end up feeling that if somebody is 'being nice' to you they want to take something from you.  It takes a lot to trust but even when you do, you maintain a certain amount of distance.   You've learned that you have to - in the name of survival. 

Anyway, cry me a river - right?     I guess it just goes to show that we are all so different inside and all the elements in our lives so far have gone together to create who we become. 

You described this topic perfect. I totally understand what you wrote. No one can understand unless they have been going through the same thing in life. Thank you for your true words .. 

[Snowpuppy]

Speaking only of my own life experiences and not of the OP.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

Oh I would give anything to hear from my brother! He and I were always so close; we never even had an argument or disagreement.....IDK why he is hiding unless he just "vonts to be alone..."

[Ms X]

Good for you, Loves To Teach!  I guarantee that many of these students who felt your caring and guidance will remember it for a lifetime.  When I was in high school, I had a very nice English teacher who influenced me.  I had to write out answers to something (I can't remember what at this point), but I mentioned that I would like to go to college but had no money.  She wrote a little reply about scholarships/financial aid.  That was a long time ago, but it was a major factor in my applying to college and getting two degrees with no help from my parents.  Teachers really can make a difference!

[blackhole99]

Some people for whatever reason just don't have it in them to give and show love. My father never showed affection or told us kids he loved us, thank goodness my Mother and her family was loving.