Community Chat

[Preds]

Oh, forgot about the haunting.  I try to do my haunting now so that I can enjoy the show, but if I get bored in the afterlife I'd be willing to do a little.  I do have a list a mile long that I'd hate to see go to waste.

[proudlyfromNJ]

Have been to a lawyer for a will. He knows all our assets and knows where they all will go. 

When our time comes, we go to a teaching hospital in NY. Ashes come back in two years and will be scattered by relatives, so no funeral or burial costs.

Have told siblings to have an estate sale for household stuff.

[lilypadfrog]

@novamc1,  I wish it would fit in a trunk.  Their bedrooms and my granddaughter's bedroom are filled with boxes and some furniture.  At times I think the house dips on that side.  I basically live on the first floor (bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, living room, and dining room).  I only go upstairs to do laundry and cringe at the "stuff".

[Mom2Dogs]

@Sooner.....yes, this topic has been discussed before...and I am still 'worried' about what to do.   The earlier thread about a neighbor dying and her wishes not being honored by her family brought this back home to me, glad you started this new thread.

Most likely I will out live my husband, I am much younger, but I do know that anything can happen at any time, with that being said, we have very little family, dh has 2 kids, together we did not have children.  I am in touch with two siblings (both are older than me by 6-8 years), both sets of parents are gone.  DH's siblings are all gone but 2 of his nieces live in the area.....we have a very small circle of friends...we have both decided we do not want a full blown service.

This is where my worry is...if there is no service...what do you do just send the body to the facility that cremates, pick up the ashes and you are done...seems harsh to me but again, we do not want a viewing, funeral, etc.  I figure we could all get together for a meal to at least have some closure but for a person that does not worry a lot, this is really bothering me. 

We do have will, power of attorney, etc....investments are taken care of and I have been very good a purging over the years, so disposing of things will not be an issue, it is the service, or lack of, that is my sticking point.  I look forward to hearing what others have done or hearing some practical advice.

[gidgetgh]

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@lilypadfrog wrote:

Paperwork to divide money done, family jewelry already sorted and given out, body signed up for organ donation / medical research, family history / pictures identified and put on flash drives for each child so everything for me is done.  But my children will finally have to go through all of those boxes they left at home when they moved out years ago.  Almost wish I could stay and watch.

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@lilypadfrog- it’s your house. Why don’t you tell them to get those things out of there?

[geezerette]

Since my husband died I’ve found that having all the necessary documentation in order doesn’t necessarily insure a quick, easy, or seamless transition.  

But since I don’t have any children and my remaining relatives are out of state, my main concerns were my animals. So I have updated my will and all my wishes are spelled out.  As I downsize I will change the documents as necessary.  

No announcement, service, etc. for me.  Cremation, with instructions left for the scattering of my husband and my ashes, which is really my only “emotional” request.  I hope I have enough assets left for my beneficiaries to enjoy.

As for haunting anyone, no.  I’m going to be too busy at The Rainbow Bridge getting reacquainted with all my animals.😇

[geezerette]

@Mom2Dogs

Your situation sounds similar to mine, and I just went through it.  My husband was vehement that he didn’t want any type of service or gathering.    He did want to be cremated.  Beyond that, he never expressed an opinion.  He often told me that if/when he was gone, I could do what I wanted.  So that’s what I’ve been doing with anything he didn’t specifically tell me about.

Details, if you care to hear them:  he went to the funeral home, then to the crematorium, then back to the funeral home.  I brought his ashes home.  (I took my best friend with me for all that.  She was a great comfort.)  Because he never dictated what he really wanted done with his ashes (although we often would joke about the subject), I am going to do with them what I want to do.

He did not want any gathering, but I really could have had some sort of get-together for close friends, if I had wanted.  But I didn’t.  I couldn’t have handled it at that point.  (Or now, for that matter.)  I’m not the kind of person that finds comfort in a lot of people.  But if you think you would like to honor your husband, or have a service for yourself, I don’t see anything wrong with that.  I think what my husband really didn’t like was the full funeral experience with viewing, church service, burial etc.  If I had chosen, I don’t think he would have minded in the least if I had a gathering because I wanted one.

Sorry for the long description.  If this bothers you, I think you should discuss it with your husband seriously.

[SeaMaiden]

Hubby and I married over 40 years... have done no planning. At all.  No children, no family. It is just us.  Do not want to think about it.

Will not have to worry about it when I am dead ,so,I guess that is the plan...... maybe some distant relative I do not know will get  all....lucky them! 🙂

[Wsmom]

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@Mz iMac wrote:

Great thing to have......

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I have this book.  Have I filled it out?  Nope. 

[tansy]

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

Hubby and I married over 40 years... have done no planning. At all.  No children, no family. It is just us.  Do not want to think about it.

Will not have to worry about it when I am dead ,so,I guess that is the plan...... maybe some distant relative I do not know will get  all....lucky them! 🙂

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I’d figure out a charity to be your beneficiary.