Community Chat

[151949]

We plan to be cremated here in Fl. The surviving spouse will take ashes to Pittsburgh for interment in DH's family site.We have already paid for everything incl. the head stones at the cemetery. So it's just a matter of sending the remains to be cremated then making arrangements with the pastor in Pittsburgh for a memorial service. Should actually be rather simple.

Our finances are another matter. My DH still has his accts at a Pittsburgh bank, so those would have to be dealt with. He also has a lot of investments etc. in his name only with me as beneficiary. So that will have to be dealt with. Of course , he doesn't have any of the above all in one place, so I have no doubt it would take me weeks to figure it all out, then get it all properly taken care of. He even has multiple life ins policies at different companies. I'll be in Fl. some of it is here and some in Pa. I will most likely just save myself a lot of angst if he dies first and go hire an attorney to do  his estate. It will be worth whatever it costs! My DH is a disorganized mess with anything like this, and , of course, it's worse since he's gotten older. He has no heirs except me so that makes it easier. He stores every slip of paper he gets in the mail so I'll have to wade thru it all to figure out what is trash and what is important, but at least it is in a file cabinet.

When my first DH died it was so simple. He let me take care of any & all business so I knew exactly what there was and where it was. 

[nana59]

no obit...no service...cremation....already started giving my family my possessions that they want....and gave the kids our house....so the state can't take it if we are in a nursing home for a length of time...went to a lawyer that specializes in senior care...

[gidgetgh]

Cremation for both of us, no visitation, very short graveside service. My husband bought plots years before I ever met him so the ashes will be buried in the plots. 

Obit is fine, but I’m fine without one also. 

When my dad passed away two years ago, he was cremated, as was my mom in 2011. We’d held her ashes all that time, per her wishes, and when my dad died we took them to PA to bury the ashes in a plot they’d bought years ago. We did a short, like 5 minute service at the grave with a few readings and then we all went to lunch. It just about killed me to bury both my parents at the same time and out of state, so far from my sister and me no less.  I couldn’t have handled anything more elaborate than that. 

We had no visitation for my dad in Georgia. We did have a funeral home visitation for my mom in 2011. I thought that was a complete waste of money so we didn’t do one for my dad. And he’d given the ok to us on that before he died. 

We did do lengthy obits for both of my parents. Since we weren’t having a funeral, I wanted anyone reading them to know who they were. So we spent some substantial money on the obits. 

As for our stuff, wills are done. And I keep a very elaborate three ring binder filled with everything, account numbers, phone numbers, instructions that anyone would need to settle our estate. Seriously anyone with the book could settle our estate. 

[goldensrbest]

@151949 I thought you had a step daughter.

[151949]

I have a step daughter and step son - my first husbands children - not related at all to current husband.

[Mominohio]

We have wills and other documents done, but should be updated again since child is raised and out. 

We have life insurance wills, and all other important papers anyone would need in the safe in one file and marked. 

We have graves purchased (markers are next on the list of 'to do' in this area), and I have made clear what I want, husband still isn't coming forward with details of his 'putting away'. I've told him if he doesn't express it before hand, I will do what I think fit. 

I don't want any services, and I don't care if they publish an obit or not. 

[tansy]

I want to be cremated but my husband might opt to bury me instead because he insists he would ‘visit’ me.  It really won’t matter to me at that point I guess.

No obit or service for either of us but my husband’s large family will probably have issues with that.

I’m embarrassed to admit that I have not done the necessary paperwork though.  However, the house will be easy for my sons to clear out.  

[Preds]

I won't care.  I'm dead. LOL

DH and DD can bicker over it.  He says she gets everything and she doesn't want it because that means she has to clean it all out.  *snicker, snicker*.

We have our burial plots, but that's as far as I've gotten him on the plans.  He doesn't want to think about it.  I told him, fine.  DD wants cremation, he wants burial/funeral/service, etc.  I told him I'd go with DDs wishes if he doesn't want to discuss the other.  He said, nope ... not doing cremation unless that's what you want.  I don't care either way because I'll be gone, but I do want a decission.  What is so hard about that?

[fourpaws56]

oh forgot to add..I don't have stuff.just a few little antique things that my DIL loves,I told her keep what you like,donate the rest..we wear the same size shoe and clothes,and she likes my taste, so I know she will be wearing them. as far as people to haunt? oh yeah, I have a few,lol, karma is a beach right?

[tiny 2]

---

@Sooner wrote:

Do you have a list of people to haunt?