Community Chat

[Annabellethecat66]

@Bellabutterfly It's my pet peeve!  I stop sending once I don't get a thank you note.  I feel if I take the time to give the gift, they can take the time to write (WRITE) and use a freaking stamp, thank you note.

I raised my daughters and they are raising their children to write thank you notes.  If I take my grandchildren out to the movies or anything for the day, a few days later I get a short little thank you note in the mail.

The little one's who can't write their name scribbles something and their mom sends it out.

If anyone expects to get anything from me had better take a few minutes and send a thank you note.  Period.

[Imadickens]

@Ms X I hope you are right, and think you may be.  But, also, I believe any gift should be appreciated big or small! I truly believe it's the thought that counts!

[GATORGIRL]

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@Caaareful Shopper wrote:

We just had a 90th birthday weekend for my mother.  Afterwards, she spent two days with her arthritic hands not only sending over 50 families/couples Thank You cards, she wrote each message herself because she only wanted blank cards.  I offered to stay an extra day so she could dictate them to me and I write them for her, but she insisted on doing them herself.  She was so happy, and relived the moments she shared with each person during the celebration as she wrote them. 

I love sending Thank You cards.

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@Caaareful Shopper

Your mother is a class act.  

[Noel7]

My grandmother lived with us when I was a child.  She was a minister's wife, schooled in the old fashioned social graces.  She and both of my parents stressed manners, especially table manners.  I rode the bus to school and back and was reminded to always give my seat to an older person, a pregnant woman, anyone disabled and anyone carrying packages.

I have done the same kind of teaching with my daughter and I always got remarks from people about what good manners she has.

But along the way, we were the odd balls.  I honestly saw very few of my peers teaching manners of any kind.  Like I said, I don't fault the kids, I fault their parents and grandparents.

[maestra]

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@Ms X wrote:

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@maestra wrote:

I handmade some layette items for my neighbor's new baby boy and never got a thank you note-just a wave across the yard and 'thanks' from the mom only.

We purchased 2 Dr. Seuss books for the 4year olds birthday-her comment was 'I already have these'.

I will not be making or giving anything else for either of these children. Yes, I know it's not the 4 yr. old or the baby's fault, just poor upbringing.

Live and learn. 

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@maestra  "I already have these" is so unimaginably rude.  I don't even know what to say!

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@Ms X-DH and I were stunned into silence at the rudeness; I have never encountered anything like that before in my experience. Keep in mind I'm used to kiddos and their sponaneous responses, but not even this prepared me for this comment.

[abbeythe 8th]

I like to give gifts and usually put a lot of thought into them.  More often than not, I do not receive a thank you note.  It bothered me a great deal.  On a few occasions I've called and asked if they received the gift.

I've decided I do not give a gift for a thank you note.  I will continue to give gifts knowing there's a good chance I will not receive a thank you note.

[GATORGIRL]

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@BalletBabe wrote:

If I do not get a thank you after two times, I send no more gifts.  It is just wrong not to get a Thank You.  Makes you feel like they expect the gifts.

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My thoughts exactly, @BalletBabe.  Two times and you're out.  Furthermore, I believe that you are enabling the disrespectful behavior of the ungrateful individual by continuing.

[Ms X]

@maestra  Yes, I've learned from your posts that you've had a long and distinguished career as a teacher.  Where would any of us be without great teachers?  I credit especially the principal of my elementary school, Miss Smith, with ensuring that all of us got a good foundation in basic skills.  I also remember a number of excellent teachers who made all the difference.  A good teacher changes lives, and I'm sure you've done your share of that!

I pity those people for their cluelessness.  It seems that they didn't even understand how ignorant they sounded.  If they did, they certainly would not have been so crude.

[on the bay]

Young children often say things out loud that they feel, without any filters and have to be taught.

I will never forget when I was five and had a birthday party and opened another coloring book. My response that just came right out of my mouth was probably so hurtful and embarrassing to the gifter and my mother-something like oh I already have so many of those or oh another coloring book

My mother leaned down and told me to say thankyou right away no matter how many I had! I was so ashamed at how I had acted and what had just flew out of my mouth! After that I never forgot to say thankyou. 

I always write thank you cards and my daughters do too for everything, visits, gifts. My son is not so big on writing but he will let the person know how much he appreciates what they gave or did through a phone call or visit.

It makes people feel so good really and only takes a few minutes and a little bit of effort for what may have taken a lot of thought , not to mention money, and time in selecting or even making a gift.

[Noel7]

Law offices and corporations in the Bay Area send many of their up and coming employees to manners classes.  It's a real business in and of itself.

I suppose it's a good idea since many of them probably don't even know which fork to use or that you don't sit until others do in some situations, things like that.