Community Chat

[Bellabutterfly]

Is it just me...?  Or do you feel the same?  

This Summer, I sent out several very nice "Monetary Gifts", for family and friends who's children have "Graduated" from High School.  We could not make it to the parties, so I sent a card / gift through the USPS Mail. I have yet, to receive any "Thank You" cards.

The same thing for a "Wedding Gift"...Nothing?

I sent my - 2 - Nieces a "Beautiful and Expensive Gift of Jewelry" and said in the note, just because..."I Love You"!

The one niece at least acknowledged the gift by sending me an TEXT Message saying she loved it, "Thank You".

The other niece...I sent her a message did you get it? She texted back...Yes.  No..."Thank You"!

My God, have "Good Manners" and "Respect" gone astray?  

Or is it ..."This generation just expects everything"?  They feel it is owed to them? 

I will tell you, my husband and I do not have children, but have alot of nieces and nephews.  This really puts a "New Light" as to who we list into our " Last Will and Last Testment".

Also, tired of the excuse...Oh, he or she is so busy..."

We are "ALL" busy...

FYI..."Good Manners and Respect"...Are still in Fashion. 

[Ms X]

I blame the parents until the kids are at least over 30.  If they have not been taught, it will take some time for them to learn what to do.  I've been in that situation with teens/20-somethings and blamed the parents, though I didn't say anything to them.

[proudlyfromNJ]

If I were you I would say keep my money in my pocket from now on. As far as the will, leave the ungrateful ones out. 

[loveschocolate]

I don't understand it and believe me, I am as upset as you are. Graduation, wedding, baby gifts over the last couple of years and one hand written thank you. It doesn't take but a minute to write out a thank you and slap a stamp on it. 

[Kachina624]

I have two grandson to who I give checks on birthdays and Christmas.  Their mother knows how I feel about thank-yous, so she always emails a thank-you she has written and pretends it's from them.  I guess she thinks I'm stupid.

[Hooty]

@Bellabutterfly, ITA with you, I just do not understand the manners of this generation anymore!  My nephew also graduated from HS in June, we didn't get an invitation, we don't live in the same state, but we sent a graduation gift anyway!  We sent him $100, this is what we gave all our nephews when they graduated HS!  Time went on and we never heard from him, and I wanted to be sure he got the gift, so I sent him a private message through FB, yes he got it and thanks   .............  that was it!!!  He will never get another gift from us again!!!

[chickenbutt]

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Kachina624 wrote:

I have two grandson to who I give checks on birthdays and Christmas.  Their mother knows how I feel about thank-yous, so she always emails a thank-you she has written and pretends it's from them.  I guess she thinks I'm stupid.

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Oh wow!  That is troubling to me on two counts.  First, treating you like you are clueless, which you clearly ar NOT.  Second, she's not teaching them a darn thing about manners or even just basic social graces.   

[Caaareful Shopper]

We just had a 90th birthday weekend for my mother.  Afterwards, she spent two days with her arthritic hands not only sending over 50 families/couples Thank You cards, she wrote each message herself because she only wanted blank cards.  I offered to stay an extra day so she could dictate them to me and I write them for her, but she insisted on doing them herself.  She was so happy, and relived the moments she shared with each person during the celebration as she wrote them. 

I love sending Thank You cards.

[MickD]

This has happened to me.  I have called the parents and said - did your son/daughter get the monetary gift we sent?  They said - yes. My reply - a written thank you or even a call sure would have been appreciated.  Cick.

Oh and how about gifts sent to adults during the holidays and no response???? Never again. I can go on and on.  I take no prisoners....cut em off at the kankles.

[Imadickens]

@BellabutterflyI couldn't agree more! I'm very old fashioned about manners and etiquette ! I think you were very thoughtful to send those gifts and the recipients showed a tremendous lack of class! I am worried as to what will become of the world once those who believe it's ok to do what is comfortable and easy for them, whether or not it is good for anyone else! I also hate the idea that sending a text is sufficient as a thank you!

My mother insisted my wedding thank you notes be written and mailed before I left on my honeymoon. Of course, in those days, gifts were given more than money, and they were sent to the bride's home before the wedding (so the bride and groom wouldn't have to be worried about transporting all the lovely things while dressed in wedding attire!). I received four or five checks at the wedding, for which I wrote thank you's before I left! My dd wrote hers within 6 weeks, a fact I didn't love but could accept. My ds and dil "worked " on them. I urged them routinely to write them, offering assistance by giving them sample notes they could copy from and even offered to address, and finally write the notes. I thought they were all done. After 6 months or more went by, my dh boss asked if they liked the gift. Turns out, they had not written all of them yet! I told them I would check with people and if they weren't out that week I would write ever guest and apologize for their poor manners! To the best of my knowledge, they were all written, ASAP! It takes longer to complain about writing a note than it does to write one!

In the future, I suggest you "text" a note of congradulations  and use the money for you and your husband to enjoy a nice dinner! Or, donate the money and text her a note telling her that you donated money in her honor to...