Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,452
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@grandma r


This neighbor could also be passive-aggressive. As soon as you defend yourself, she's liable to come back with "what?, I was just trying to be nice and 'compliment' you! Sheesh, you're so touchy!" Or something similar. Can't stand passive-aggressive, can you tell? LOL.


You've rec'd some good advice. Be yourself, and what your gut tells. It's really irking her that her DH is noticing that you take pride in your appearance. I'm curious, does she? Could her husband be complimenting you to get a dig at her? Just a thought. Unless she 'fancies' herself up everyday too, and he doesn't acknowledge it. 


Keep being your pretty self!


This always reminds me of co-workers and acquaintances: "Did you get your haircut?" NEVER saying, gee it looks nice, or cute cut, whatever. There is always something nice to say. I never ever just said, oh you got your haircut. I always complimented the style, color, cut. 



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Posts: 19,770
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@ Montana wrote:

@grandma r The next time (and there will be a next time) just smile sweetly and say, “Thank you so much”.


I like this very much.  Don't acknowledge her passive-aggressive behavior.  Don't get nasty and lower yourself to her level.   This is what she hopes for.


Just be polite, not syrupy or anything sounding fake.  Just smile and say - well,   what Montana said.  Smiley Happy


That tends to disarm people like that.   They don't ruin your day.  Their day stays whatever it is until they decide to not be such a jerk, but that's not on your or anybody else.  Your day stays good.   

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Posts: 26,549
Registered: ‎12-17-2012

@qualitygal wrote:

@Preds,   Snark Art U.  ???  LOL

Image may contain: 1 person, text@qualitygal LOL

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

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Posts: 17,506
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

@Preds, Now that made me laugh!!!!

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Registered: ‎10-26-2010

Thank you all for the great suggestions!!!!  I will try harder not to let her get to me!!!  Your kind words mean so much to me!!!

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Posts: 10,418
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I had a SIL who always, always was snarky with everyone about everything----took me years to figure out that that was the way she was---she was very generous and loving, otherwise,  but just sarcastic and prob, very insecure and afraid. Her husband abused her and her kids, mentally and verbally. I got out of that family after just a few years of marriage to her brother so I don't know what happened to any of them. But really hard to gauge what kind of response to give.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,325
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I'm sorry that you get this kind of negative vibe from your neighbor.


I have no explanation for it other than to say that it seems like rudeness prevails more often than not in society today.


Snark seems to be the response of choice.




I live in a neighborhood with an HOA.  It is not a stringent HOA.  We don't have any unreasonable rules, and the area I live in is not a high stress area.


BUT everytime there is a discussion, "opinions" fly fast and furious on the email circuit, and it's amazing how rude and snarky people get when someone doesn't exactly agree with what's been said or proposed.


Such a discussion is going on right now and I just finished reading the latest string of umbrage.


Even when someone explains his/her point of view in the most diplomatic and polite of ways, the answer is nearly always snark snark snark.


I don't know why people have to be this way.


Isn't it just easier and less stressful to be kind and polite?


For me it is, anyway.

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero
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Registered: ‎06-10-2015

You're doing good.  Keep it up and enjoy yourself.  

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