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Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@catwhisperer wrote:

Perhaps she has  form of dementia or mental disability rather than just assuming she is "jealous"?


@catwhisperer.  Agree... but women always attribute any personality disorder to jealousy, which I think is a rather adolescent viewpoint.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
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@catwhisperer. I understand.  For years I tried not to let her comments get to me.  I even tried to make excuses for her.  

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Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: Snarky Comments

[ Edited ]

@grandma r

 

This is purely speculation, but it could be possible that the husband may compliment you to his wife  in private and that makes her jealous.  When he compliments you in person, she may feel the need to strike out at you.  I think it is kind of you not to strike back because she must feel terribly insecure.  

 

Esteemed Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-10-2010

When her husband pays you a compliment I suggest you say the following to him..."Thank you so much for the compliment, you are very kind."  In that respect you are responding with kindness for the kindness he bestowed on you.  

 

I know it isn't easy to ignore a rude person but you are the winner regardless of what she says.  When they walk away put a big smile on your face and feel good about yourself.  If you feel anything about his wife, feel sorry for her because she has no concept on how to communicate with people.  Enjoy the compliments!!!!!!  Heart

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
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Registered: ‎01-05-2017

@grandma r wrote:

Usually I try to ignore such comments, but, for the past year or so a certain neighbor feels the need to be unkind.  For whatever reason, she only makes comments if another person is present. 

 

For instance, I was working outside wearing faded jeans and a tee shirt, no makeup except for eyebrows (I don't have any).  Anyway, she and her husband were passing by and stopped to chat.  The husband said my hair looked nice(I had lost my hair due to illness in the past).  Before I could say thank you, she chimed in with "she always likes to look like a beauty queen"!!  Beauty queen????  I was a sweaty mess from weeding!!!  I didn't acknowledge her comment, but, thanked the husband about noticing my hair and said I needed to get back to work.

 

A month or so later we ran into this couple at a local eatery.  I was wearing a D&Co tee shirt dress and flats.  Yes, I was showered, had makeup and jewelry on, and my hair was fixed.  Her first comment was " well, aren't you fancy??".  I smiled and my husband said our table was ready.

 

At my age, I really don't want or need a confrontation, however, I can't figure out why this woman is being so snarky.  We have known her for 30+ years, as neighbors more so than friends.  She has made comments over the years and I have ignored them.  Ever since my illness and recovery she is worse.  I am not the only neighbor that gets these remarks either.

 

Thanks for listening!!!!  I think I will just continue to not comment to her.  Although, some days I would really like to shut her up!  I just don't understand why some people feel the need to be so unkind, especially to people they really only know to see.


It sounds to me as though she is a little insecure and jealous of you, especially since her husband is complimenting you in front of her.  Maybe she doesn't know how to style herself and is afraid to ask for help.

Esteemed Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-13-2010

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

Sounds like she is JEALOUS.

 

Her husband complimented you, so therefore you must be taken down a peg or two.

 

Pathetic.

 

Just continue being awesome while she watches helplessly....Woman LOL


 

I agree!

 

I usually really don't like when people say things like, "She's just jealous" because IMO it's rarely the case at all, and it's easy to fall back on that.  But this time it certainly does sound as though this woman is jealous.

 

She also sounds childish and ridiculous, so my advice is to just continue to ignore her.  Let her stew in her own unpleasant, snarky juices and make herself miserable.  What she thinks shouldn't impact the OP in the slightest - She just sounds foolish.  

 

My sense is that the OP will be able to rise above this, as she should.

Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Snarky Comments

[ Edited ]

She sunds like a miserable and unhappy woman.  She feels better by bringing others down.  I wonder what her reaction would be if you gave her a compliment even though you really feel like telling her off?

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Snarky Comments

[ Edited ]


@AuntG wrote:

If you look better than her when you are dirty from weeding, my guess is she is jealous. Ask her husband quite bluntly, "is she always this rude?"


@AuntG wrote:

If you look better than her when you are dirty from weeding, my guess is she is jealous. Ask her husband quite bluntly, "is she always this rude?"


 

I disagree.  Why turn this into something bigger than it needs to be?  I don't see how putting this nice husband on the spot is going to help.  He knows she's rude - No one has to point it out, and he shouldn't be put in the position of having to explain it or talk about it.  Also, these people are just neighbors the OP occasionally sees in passing.

 

The woman is insecure and snarky, and may be a fan of drama too.  Why feed into that by giving it to her?  The OP would do best by simply being pleasant and getting on with her life.  Stirring the pot will solve nothing in this case, and will only make things uncomfortable for the OP (and for the husband who has always been nice.)   She should let it go, and leave it to this couple to sort out whatever the issue is, or not.  

 

Personally, I would be glad it was their problem, and not mine, and I wouldn't interject myself into it at all.

Super Contributor
Posts: 423
Registered: ‎06-13-2012

I'd respond to her words....ignoring her sarcastic meaning.  I'd say "oh thank you!  It's nice that you notice me."

 

 

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Registered: ‎02-09-2016

Maybe her husband tells her that what you have been though with your health you still manage to keep busy, and she doesn't like you for that. I was one of those wife's that killed myself being a good wife and Mother and I was told by several that their husbands noticed what I accomplish and alot of the women didn't even try. In fact a few thought I was nuts doing all that I did. I was a happy person and my love for my family showed. In fact one of the women called me on the phone one day back then and was just as" Snarky". And said so what are you up to today playing good little wifey. He husband came over one night after that and said to my husband you are so lucky you have someone who loves and cares about you, but my husband never did appreciate me. So there you go people are just mean.