Community Chat

[Noel7]

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@Reever wrote:

It seems most humans are social. They enjoy being in groups. Not sure if this is genetic or the way people were raised. The old nature vs. nature debate. And if you don't conform to societal "norms and mores" you are deemed odd. 

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@Reever

I don't know what this is referring to, but I don't know if that's true. Maybe by certain uptight people, but society has always had it's eccentric people and the creative ones who don't go along with the norms.  Many societies treasure them.  Too bad we don't have more: Gertrude Stein, Falkner, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Alice B. Toklas.  Many find comfort with each other.

It's nature v. nurture

[JaneMarple]

It wasn't proper for a lady to dine alone in a restaurant decades and centuries ago, if she did she was looked upon as a person with loose morals or seen as a prostitute. Thank goodness that way of thinking went out the window. 

[Moonchilde]

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@kdgn wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@Reever wrote:

Is it possible it's a gendered issue? I have never heard of a man saying he is uncomfortable dining alone. In fact I see several older men dining alone almost nightly  at my local McDonalds. I presume these men's spouses have passed away and they never learned to cook. I dine out myself 3-4 times a week either at Panera, 5 Guys or McDonalds and I have seen many "repeat solo diners". I normally grab and go as I prefer to watch TV while eating.

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@Reever

The OP did not say she was uncomfortable dining alone.

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No, thank you @Noel7, I did not. I said I preferred not to eat dinner alone, not that I felt uncomfortable eating alone, period.

And I don’t think anyone into $20 max entrees who frequents Panera, McDonald’s and 5 Guys has a clue what fine dining is or what nice restaurants are. 

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That's a mighty large brush you just used to paint many posters with, Moonchilde. That wasn't fair-

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Firstly, I never spoke about “fine dining”, that’s a phrase others have used.  

Second, the poster avows that she “would never”, not “could never” eat at a restaurant that had entrees over $20. Being on a fixed budget that doesn’t allow for more expensive or sophisticated meals that one would like isn’t the same as writing off anything that costs more as something they wouldn’t do regardless.  We are all bound by our incomes, including me. I can’t afford everything I want, but I still appreciate (and perhaps may want) many things I can’t afford. I don’t dismiss them as unimportant just because I can’t have them.

There are people who feel that anything more than the most basic of basically prepared foods is not something they would “waste” their money on. I know plenty of people like that. I feel a bit sorry for them, but to each their own. 

To me - a person who can’t afford to eat on the higher end, who doesn’t really enjoy it, and someone who doesn’t want to and/but just need to diss those who do are three different things. 

If people don’t enjoy anything but plain, that is their honest preference. Just don’t try and come off as superior in thrift, wisdom, intelligence, because of it. It’s just preference, not good-better-best.

[Susan in California]

I have always been impressed by single diners.  So many people feel funny or awkward if they dine alone.  I think it means you are confident enough to enjoy your own company. 

Several years ago, I was a docent at a museum that also had a rather upscale lunch available--white table cloths, wine, fancy desserts.  Many of the luncheon guests were solo.  And often they

were very interesting people taking trips and checking out sights alone.

I have mostly only had lunch alone and usually at pretty casual places, but I firmly believe single diners should be offered the same service couples receive.

[Moonchilde]

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@Reever wrote:

It seems most humans are social. They enjoy being in groups. Not sure if this is genetic or the way people were raised. The old nature vs. nature debate. And if you don't conform to societal "norms and mores" you are deemed odd. 

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@Reever

I don't know what this is referring to, but I don't know if that's true. Maybe by certain uptight people, but society has always had it's eccentric people and the creative ones who don't go along with the norms.  Many societies treasure them.  Too bad we don't have more: Gertrude Stein, Falkner, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Alice B. Toklas.  Many find comfort with each other.

It's nature v. nurture

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At a very basic level, there are introverts and extroverts. The American psyche happens to worship Everything Extrovert, but there are entire nations, some of them tech giants (Japan or China, anyone?) where introverts are the norm and the preferred affect and manner. So no, most humans aren’t social to the degree many Americans think they “should” be in order to be considered “normal.” 

[NicksmomESQ]

 @Moonchilde I understand that management usually sets the policy.But you should still call them out & embarass them in front of other patrons!! Their behavior is discriminatory & unacceptable !! 

   You are a valued individual & deserve respect!

[kdgn]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@kdgn wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@Reever wrote:

Is it possible it's a gendered issue? I have never heard of a man saying he is uncomfortable dining alone. In fact I see several older men dining alone almost nightly  at my local McDonalds. I presume these men's spouses have passed away and they never learned to cook. I dine out myself 3-4 times a week either at Panera, 5 Guys or McDonalds and I have seen many "repeat solo diners". I normally grab and go as I prefer to watch TV while eating.

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@Reever

The OP did not say she was uncomfortable dining alone.

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No, thank you @Noel7, I did not. I said I preferred not to eat dinner alone, not that I felt uncomfortable eating alone, period.

And I don’t think anyone into $20 max entrees who frequents Panera, McDonald’s and 5 Guys has a clue what fine dining is or what nice restaurants are. 

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That's a mighty large brush you just used to paint many posters with, Moonchilde. That wasn't fair-

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Firstly, I never spoke about “fine dining”, that’s a phrase others have used.  

Second, the poster avows that she “would never”, not “could never” eat at a restaurant that had entrees over $20. Being on a fixed budget that doesn’t allow for more expensive or sophisticated meals that one would like isn’t the same as writing off anything that costs more as something they wouldn’t do regardless.  We are all bound by our incomes, including me. I can’t afford everything I want, but I still appreciate (and perhaps may want) many things I can’t afford. I don’t dismiss them as unimportant just because I can’t have them.

There are people who feel that anything more than the most basic of basically prepared foods is not something they would “waste” their money on. I know plenty of people like that. I feel a bit sorry for them, but to each their own. 

To me - a person who can’t afford to eat on the higher end, who doesn’t really enjoy it, and someone who doesn’t want to and/but just need to diss those who do are three different things. 

If people don’t enjoy anything but plain, that is their honest preference. Just don’t try and come off as superior in thrift, wisdom, intelligence, because of it. It’s just preference, not good-better-best.

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This is what you said and what I'm saying isn't fair:

And I don’t think anyone into $20 max entrees who frequents Panera, McDonald’s and 5 Guys has a clue what fine dining is or what nice restaurants are. 

I would say a hint of snobbery?  I personally don't eat at the 3 spots you mentioned, I'm more Jack in the Box or In & Out, will eat where $20 entrees are the max but I also know and enjoy "fine dining" and nice restaurants. In fact, some of our nicer local restaurants are those that are more casual-and $20 entrees are common. 

[Katcat1]

@Noel7  Are you wearing your glasses?  I said Panera (you seat yourself) and a fine Italian restaurant (no problem at all).  I am well aware of what type restaurant Panera is.  You need to get your glasses on.

[Katcat1]

@Moonchilde  I was doing a comparison from casual dining to fine dining with no problems.  I don't understand that a couple of people are having a hard time reading that.  OMG!

[Noel7]

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@Katcat1 wrote:

@Noel7  Are you wearing your glasses?  I said Panera (you seat yourself) and a fine Italian restaurant (no problem at all).  I am well aware of what type restaurant Panera is.  You need to get your glasses on.

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@Katcat1

I'm disappointed you have resorted to personal attack.

What you said was: " I have gone to Panera (you seat yourself), a fine Italian restaurant"

The issue is that you and I disagree on your example of a fine Italian restaurant.