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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,023
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Showers and Gifts and Cards!

 

I have some questions about gifts, and I can't find the answers on any of the etiquette sites. So I'm counting on you all to help me out. Here we go:

 

*When you wrap a gift, do you put a card (birthday card or shower card) inside the gift and then wrap it, or attach it on the outside? 

 

*When you're invited to a shower (wedding in this case) do you sign the card that goes with the gift with your name only (because you're the one invited to the shower) or with your name and your spouse's/partner's? I've wondered about this for years. 

 

*How do you divide up the cost of a shower gift versus a wedding gift? Is there some percentage guide? Do you give two physical gifts (I usually give an actual gift for the shower and money for the wedding, but that's just me/us).

 

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,153
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Showers and Gifts and Cards!

That depends on the situation. If the shower is a small gathering, I put the card on the outside. For wedding wrapped gifts that should be delivered to the bride's home prior to the wedding, I put the card inside to prevent it getting misplaced. If I'm the one invited, I just sign my name. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,373
Registered: ‎02-07-2011

Re: Showers and Gifts and Cards!

#1  I put it on the outside attached to the package.

 

#2  I sign my name only.  I was the one invited not my DH.

 

#3  For a shower I'll look at the register but give what I'm comfortable with.  Same with a wedding.  No percentages involved.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,917
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Showers and Gifts and Cards!

@peachesncream :in answer to your questions:

 

I attach the card to the outside of the gift.

Sign my name only. Often the women in my family pool our resources and give one, larger more $$$ baby or bridal shower gift., and

 

Cash for the wedding gift. No percentages. I just figure on appropriate amounts for each that I can afford.

 

No right or wrong, except if giving a physical wedding gift, DO NOT bring it to the wedding! Send it or have it sent to whatever address you have for the bride and/or groom.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 43,132
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Showers and Gifts and Cards!

card on the outside of the gift for a bridal shower. if it is a coed shower then i write both names, if not, just my name. if it is from the family, then i write "the smith family." for the wedding card/gift i sign both of our names.

 

i prefer to send the wedding gift rather than bring it to the wedding. it is so much easier for me and so much easier for the bride and groom.

 

no set percentage for me on the amount of the gift. i usually pick something off of the bridal register for the bridal shower. i will give a check or send another gift from the bridal registry or honeymoon registry.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,613
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: Showers and Gifts and Cards!

Shower gifts are usually opened at the shower so I tape the card to the outside of the gift.  Firmly so it doesn't fall off.  I sign just my name because I'm the one who was invited to the shower, not my husband.  I've never been invited to a coed shower even though they do exist.  How much I spend depends on my relationship to the bride or new mom.  The shower gift and wedding gift are two different things, I don't combine the two and there is no percentage system but we give money for the wedding gifts and something from the bridal registry for the shower gift.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,465
Registered: ‎10-03-2011

Re: Showers and Gifts and Cards!


@peachesncream wrote:

 

I have some questions about gifts, and I can't find the answers on any of the etiquette sites. So I'm counting on you all to help me out. Here we go:

 

*When you wrap a gift, do you put a card (birthday card or shower card) inside the gift and then wrap it, or attach it on the outside? 

 

*When you're invited to a shower (wedding in this case) do you sign the card that goes with the gift with your name only (because you're the one invited to the shower) or with your name and your spouse's/partner's? I've wondered about this for years. 

 

*How do you divide up the cost of a shower gift versus a wedding gift? Is there some percentage guide? Do you give two physical gifts (I usually give an actual gift for the shower and money for the wedding, but that's just me/us).

 

 

 

 


1.  Card can go on the outside or inside. I don't think there's a rule per se.

 

2.  Only the invitee signs the card.

 

3. Give what your budget allows.  That would be different for everyone according to their circumstances.  Like you, I give a physical gift for the shower.  For the wedding, the rule of thumb would be to give a monetary gift at least equal to what your dinner cost.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,122
Registered: ‎03-02-2016

Re: Showers and Gifts and Cards!

[ Edited ]

I put the card on the outside of the gift, Doesn't matter if I'm sending it our not. When I mail a gift it goes into a box to be mailed, so no chance of losing the card.

 

The card is signed with your name only seeing as you were the one invited to the shower.

 

There are no percentages involved with shower/wedding gifts. In each instance you gift what you can afford.  You can do whatever you like. Give 2 gifts, give a gift for the shower, money for the wedding.  It doesn't matter, there are no rules for this. It is what you prefer to do. And NO, you do not give what you think the dinner is worth. That has never been a wedding rule.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,465
Registered: ‎10-03-2011

Re: Showers and Gifts and Cards!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,938
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Showers and Gifts and Cards!

For showers, I attach the tag outside on the gift

 

I sign just my name, because my husband isn't invited

 

For wedding gifts, we usually give money, and not a percentage, but we do give more to family versus friends!