Should he Stay or Should he go ? - Page 40

stuyvesant · ‎05-15-2010

@ROMARY wrote:
At least he's honest about not wanting to marry again. Better than 'stringing' a girl along for years and years.

So true. So true.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
I'm not sure why anyone would come on this board and ask for opinions about this. Only you can decide what you should do.

If you want to get married and he doesn't and that's a deal breaker, I think you know what you need to do.

I agree. I wouldn't cast this great guy aside, but if this is a dealbreaker for her, then she needs to end the relationship now.

At this stage of life she should be long past game-playing.

Goodie2shoes · ‎04-30-2012

garmer wrote:

You want to marry him, but the one thing you won't do is live with him?

This is my opinion only, I really think it would be better for you to stay single. At this point I don't see any reason to marry.

Is it like a status symbol or something, do you just want to write Mrs. in front of your name?

I'm not trying to be mean, I just wonder if you have asked yourself "why".

This arrangement you desire doesn't even resemble marriage to me.

I'm out.

Sorry you missunderstood what I said. Someone posted that maybe we should just live together so I said I would not settle with just living together without being married. Hope that clarifies it for you.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Sooner wrote:
I'd say she spent all those years NOT being married, sees the pitfalls of such a relationship, and said to herself "Never again." She is tired of being the woman who stays with a man in a "not married" state. Seems pretty obvious to me. For once she wants to be introduced as his WIFE. I certainly can understand that.

She wants to be in a relationship where she has some claim on or contract with someone for a long-term relationship and all the world will know that he is committed to her.

That's fine. She's entitled to want that. But he doesn't want it, and her constant references to him not doing "the right thing" are narrow-minded and unfair.

If being married is so important to her, then she shouldn't be wasting the time of someone who has very clearly said that he's not interested in getting married again. Marriage takes two, and his feelings about it are equally as important and relevant as hers.

stuyvesant · ‎05-15-2010

Well, I for one would be grateful to have a sprightly 62 year old willing to "spend time" with me. But principles are important. So, if he doesn't want to get married, and she does, she should walk away.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@missy1 wrote:
@Bonanzajellybean wrote:
I didn't live with my husband before we got married nor anyone else for that matter. I'm not even religious. Why does anyone HAVE to understand her reasons? Not sure why so many are trying to figure her out.

Last I heard, she was going to spend some time thinking about it.

Many couples do not live together before marriage, because they have NOT consummated the relationship. She had 2 kids out of wedlock and is intimate with her guy. It's not a moral issue at this point. IMO it is more of what she hasn't had (for 40 years), and thinks it will bring her security. Even with get married your spouse can cheat and a whole lot of other problems.

Yes, and she and the father of her children stayed together for 40 years without being married. Lots & lots of married people don't last half that long!

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

@Isobel Archer wrote:
I could be very wrong here, but if you "love him very much" and are happy in the relationship, it sounds like your leaving would really be giving him an ultimatum in hopes that he would change his mind and marry you.

If that is the case, just be prepared for the possibility that he will let you go.

OR be prepared for the probability that if he gives in and does marry you he will resent that and your relationship won't last anyway.

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

No offense intended because I also am 66 but if you found a great guy with those qualities at your age it is like you won the lottery. Why complicate everything by marriage. Just enjoy each other. However, if you could toss aside a great guy like that maybe you just don't really love him and looking for an excuse to kick him to the curb.