Community Chat

[missy1]

I bet the Op comes back from her dinner date engaged.

[Plaid Pants2]

---

@missy1 wrote:

I bet the Op comes back from her dinner date engaged.

---

@missy1

Or, she backed him in to a corner, and he dumped her, and she is in tears, wanting sympathy and for us to feel sorry for her.

[jaxs mom]

---

@Noel7 wrote:

---

@suzyQ3 wrote:

---

@Perkup wrote:

---

@Noel7 wrote:

@Perkup

A religious marriage is optional for everyone in America.  That's one of the many freedoms we have in this country, no one has to do it your way or my way.

There is no need for you to call those who don't agree with you names such as fools, in fact, it weakens your position.

---

Anyone who thinks  marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper is sadly mistaken (or a fool).  It may change of weaken your position, but it doesn't change mine one nit, nor does it change my thinking.  And, just so you know, I am well informed on the laws of this country. Been here a long time and more than long enough to know that the way people used to take their comitments seriously was far better than today's just discard it society. We knew how to make things work - not just to toss it if it didn't suit your thinking that day.

---

@Perkup, I think we're straying from the topic at hand. But I'll add to that deviation.

You seem to be suggesting that back in the good ol' days, people stayed in their marriages because they made it work.

No, they did not necessarily know how to make it work. Many of them lived through all sorts of abuse and desperation because it was what you were expected to do. And believe me, children suffered from this as well. Believe me on that.

---

You are so right @suzyQ3

And many stayed in their marriage because there was no way out.

---

Or if they left, they would lose their children. Long history of that too. 

[Bridgegal]

---

@SilleeMee wrote:

At your fine age of 66, why would getting married be such a deal breaker for you? Honestly, maybe if you were twenty or more years younger then I can see why it would be an important thing. But  at 66...??

---

       Boy, do I agree with this.  I am 70 and my three closest friends are right behind me.   None of us has any interest in marrying again at this stage, should our husbands die or run off with a 50 year old.   A nice relationship like you describe, possibly but marriage NO. It sounds like you have a wonderful man and a great situation.

[kivah]

Match.com is another good site to meet someone. Several years ago, I met a woman at my temple who was in her late 60s and she met her husband on Match. I saw him at one of our parties - and he was very nice looking. She told me that when she met him, she had a serious medical problem and needed surgery --- and it didn't matter to him in the least. There's always other men out there.

[Zhills]

[Drythe]

---

@Goodie2shoes wrote:

Yorkieonmypillow wrote :

I don't think anyone here can give you a proper answer until you explain WHY you want to be married.

I would like to know where you are coming from.

Because I think it's the right thing to do. My children are married, they really like my boyfriend and he likes them. (they actually like him better than their own father)  They know he spends the night with me and I sometimes stay at his place. I enjoy my free nights when he is not here and we just talk on the phone but I just think it's the right thing to do. We both attend church ( not the same one) he says he had been looking for me for 2 years and prayed so shouldn't he want to do the right thing ?

---

@Goodie2shoes

If you enjoy your free

 nights when he's not there - you do realize that you'll be giving them up, don't you?

I love my DH dearly, and am grateful everyday that we met.  I pray that he outlives me because while I would and could go on without him, there would be a hole in my heart.

Because of that I would not marry again, I could never think of any one else as my husband.  Were I fortunate enough to find a companion such as you have, I would be quite content with the status quo.

To me personally given your current and previous arrangements, it seems that religious / marital commitments were set aside in your former relationship and for a good while in your current relationship.  Why should your companion consider it important at this point?  He told you at the start he did't want to remarry, why should that change?  If you really feel that you are not doing right, maybe you might reconsider the overnights. Not as a punishment, or to force his hand, but so you aren't sending mixed messages, and are 'doing the right thing.'

[Zhills]

Don't know why they make these so large!  Not in my photo program.

[Foolywooly11]

I agree with @SilleeMee; given your age, why would it be a deal breaker, unless it's for religious reasons? 

[DiAnne]

---

@software wrote:

---

@DiAnne wrote:

I have good male friend who is in his late 60's and dates women in their late 30's/early 40's.  He is a widower with $$$ and says he does not want to marry again because he feels they would become his nursemaid should health problems arise. 

He sounds perfect except for the bowling!!

---

I find that ridiculous.   If he has young girlfriends, they would kick him to the curb, or vice versa,  if he were to become sick?    Sounds like a guy playing the field with the little blue pill.

---

@software

He quit work early to be a nursemaid to his wife who lost her battle with breast cancer a couple of years ago.  They lived across the street from me.  

He is absolutely playing the field.  He good looking and has money (and a 65 foot yacht).  He has no intention to remarry.  I  am not privy to his pill consumption.