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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,249
Registered: ‎04-30-2012

Re: Should he Stay or Should he go ?

He has 3 adult children, I have 2 and we both have grandchildren, he is retired from the military and a retired police office. I'm not concerned or need his benefits should he die and would be willing to sign a prenupt (we have not discussed this) because my benefits would go to my children.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,143
Registered: ‎04-18-2012

Re: Should he Stay or Should he go ?


@Goodie2shoes wrote:

@Trudey wrote:

What will marriage give you that you don't already have?  He sounds like a keeper to me. Marriage is only a piece of paper.

 
 
Good question, I have my own home, can come and go as I please, can spend time with my grandsons (21 months and 17 years old) I can watch what I want on TVWoman Very Happy  I guess It's the commitment.  My dear mother even asked me why I would want to get married !!  Maybe I'm asking to much ?   

You can have all those things, and be married. Or not. You can create whatever relationship parameters you both agree to regardless of the piece of paper. 

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,936
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Should he Stay or Should he go ?

You have the best of both worlds. You have no responsibility to him, you won't have to take care of him if he becomes seriously ill, or be responsible for his bills if his money runs out.

 

I assume you do not live together, so you don't have to accommodate his habits or modify yours. Men in that age group who are all you say he is are scarce. There will be women waiting in line to replace you while you may be looking to replace him for a very long time.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,443
Registered: ‎05-15-2016

Re: Should he Stay or Should he go ?

There doesn't seem to be any reason not to stay, given everything else about him. However, if in your heart, you feel like you would be settling then I think you should go rather than try to talk yourself into something that doesn't feel right to you. 

 

To me, it sounds like a good set-up, having your own place and routines, money etc but I can understand wanting to be married too. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,043
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Should he Stay or Should he go ?


@ncascade wrote:

You do not share values. So go! I know you will not, but that is my advice.


That would be a deal-breaker for me.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,160
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Re: Should he Stay or Should he go ?


@Goodie2shoes wrote:

@I'm a very happy girl @ 66 yrs old, retired and financially stable, own my home. I have been dating a 62 year old man exclusively for a little over 1 yr and he is also retired and financially stable. We are very happy, never argue, he treats me very very well, takes me to dinner (I also cook), we go bowling, he surprises me with roses, he's never late, stays fit and keeps his word all the time.  When I met him, I told him I was looking for someone to build a great relationship with and eventually wanted to get married.  Later in the relationship he told me he never wants to get married again. We love each other very much but since we have different goals I'm thinking about ending the relationship and moving on until I find what I am looking for because at my age, no need to waste my time. What would you do ???


@Goodie2shoes, Have you asked him why he didn't share with you that he didn't want to married when you told him that was your goal?  It seems that he was not truthful with you.

 

 

“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore to be happy”. (By Nightbirde, singer of the song, It’s Ok)
Frequent Contributor
Posts: 111
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Should he Stay or Should he go ?


@Goodie2shoes wrote:

@I'm a very happy girl @ 66 yrs old, retired and financially stable, own my home. I have been dating a 62 year old man exclusively for a little over 1 yr and he is also retired and financially stable. We are very happy, never argue, he treats me very very well, takes me to dinner (I also cook), we go bowling, he surprises me with roses, he's never late, stays fit and keeps his word all the time.  When I met him, I told him I was looking for someone to build a great relationship with and eventually wanted to get married.  Later in the relationship he told me he never wants to get married again. We love each other very much but since we have different goals I'm thinking about ending the relationship and moving on until I find what I am looking for because at my age, no need to waste my time. What would you do ???


 

He should go. Why settle. You want more then he's willing to give. No woman should ever settle for less.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,247
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Should he Stay or Should he go ?

Keep him as a friend, different residences, but move on.   This is what I'd do, and I'm not you. You know best, just stating my vote on it.  He stated his plans, I wouldn't want to be his maid and housekeeper (mom) and if he really doesn't want to move in the direction you do, you can find your own path.  I think you know this already. Good luck.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,520
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

Re: Should he Stay or Should he go ?

It's rare to find someone with all of those good qualities at our age - keep him!  It's just a piece of paper - if things are good, why screw them up? 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: Should he Stay or Should he go ?

I would keep him.

 

 

He sounds about as close to perfect as one is gonna get.