Community Chat

[kindred cats]

We opt to plant trees in honor of their loved ones, and have always received heartfelt thank yous.

I'm sorry you've gone through all these losses. 

[lynnie61]

A close co worker died unexpectedly many years ago.  A customer sent us a peace lily to our office.  7 years later we are all still in awe that it blooms so frequently.  We all take care of it in her honor.  

We always will and still send thank yous for any gift (plant/flowers wind chimes/mass card or donation).  Yes everyone is grieving, and it may take a bit longer.   

It actually helped me when my mom passed, knowing how many people cared.   

I'm not offended not getting thank yous, but many, many (young and old) just won't send them these days.  But I am happy when I get one.  I'm happy if family even texts or emails.  All is good.  

@Trailrun23  I'm sorry for your recent losses.  

[Jersey Born]

I sent flowers to a cousin's funeral (actually the husband of a cousin), and I received a thank you phone call. I once sent flowers to the mother of my dear friend who died when she was too young (age 25) on her birthday which was Valentine's day, as a remembrance. I received a lovely phone call in response.

When I sent a sympathy card to our accountant who lost his wife suddenly and unexpectedly after two days of stomach pain and vomitting, I received the loveliest card back from him. I had absolutely no expectation of receiving an acknowledgment of a card.

When I bought books on grief and mourning for a friend (and her 10-year-old daughter) who lost her husband suddenly and unexpectedly from cardiac arrest, I was told in a subsequent phone conversation that she read one of the books I gave her, cover-to-cover, the evening of the funeral. I knew my gifts were appreciated and needed. 

Just sending a card to someone means a lot to them, so don't despair if you don't receive any acknowledgment for your show of respect.  Everyone is different, some will make a phone call, others will write a thank you, and others will just feel too lost to do either, but everyone has feelings, especially when someone they love dies. What you did was wonderful, kind, and loving. Never regret or second guess doing something that comes straight from your heart, @Trailrun23. Even if you receive no acknowledgment, your message of love and caring was received and was very much appreciated.   

[tansy]

I would have sent flowers to honor the memory of my DIL's mother, @Trailrun23, but otherwise probably just a card or a donation.

[Biftu]

I generally donate to a charity, send a mass card, or send flowers depending of my closeness to the deceased and their families.  While I have received acknowledgments I do not expect one.  People are grieving.  The last thing they need is to send acknowledgments.  I give from my heart not to receive a thank you.

[PABoater]

Yes, sending something is ALWAYS an appropriate and kind gesture. I would give people a month to send a thank you. It's a difficult time.

Most people do not acknowledge gifts, unfortunately! I ALWAYS send a thank you note, as do my children. I rarely receive a note in the mail. A handwritten note is VERY GOOD MANNERS and people should be doing this! 

[haddon9]

I'm sorry to hear about the many losses in your life over the last few months.  It's very hard to lose so many within a short period of time.

My good friend lost her father early in December.  She is Jewish and usually Jews send either plants or food.  I chipped in with a few other people and we gave a gift card to a local deli which has great food.

This way she was able to use it whenever she wanted to rather than just having too many food platters arrive at her home at once.

She sent us a thank you card for the gift and us being at the funeral within a few weeks.  I agree though it can be difficult for some to write them out when they are grieving.

[KKJ]

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@Oznell wrote:

I'm sorry for your losses, @Trailrun23 -- it's terrible to lose dear friends.  You acknowledged the relationships beautifully with the lovely plants.

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I agree!  And yes, it gets expensive sending plants or flowers nowadays.  I've almost always received a thank you card for plants/flowers to family and friends, however I've lately opted to take food to families that are mourning which is appreciated.

[ECBG]

@Trailrun23 

Do what you feel comfortable with. 

[AuntMame]

When my dad died when I was a kid a lot of people sent plants. My mom loathed them. But to me they were wonderful and beautiful and a sign of human kindness. I spent many hours, in my grief during the winter, caring for them and nurturing them. It led to a lifelong love of growing plants, especially house plants. Being among plants and plant people still gives me joy. 

So you just never know how some gift of kindness and compassion will effect someone.