Community Chat

[beach-mom]

I'd like your advice on this.

A good friend of mine just passed away. We worked together on projects, and that is how we met. So I didn't see her every day. I always enjoyed being around her and her husband, and I valued her advice. DH knew them well too.

We never socialized together outside of that, but I can honestly say I loved her.

The last week she was alive her husband and I e-mailed back and forth because I had to fill in for her for some things. I "talked" to him a few days before she died, and I had been to see her in the hospital shortly before that. I never thought she wouldn't get better. Someone else she worked with e-mailed me right after she died.

I immediately e-mailed her husband and poured my heart out about how much she meant to me. He responded right away with some kind words of his own. Both DH and I are going to visitation and her memorial service. 

Because of the e-mail I wrote - where I pretty much said everything - do you think I should also send a card to her husband? TIA for your help! 

[pugvette74]

A card would be beautiful~

[NYC Susan]

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@beach-mom wrote:

I'd like your advice on this.

A good friend of mine just passed away. We worked together on projects, and that is how we met. So I didn't see her every day. I always enjoyed being around her and her husband, and I valued her advice. DH knew them well too.

We never socialized together outside of that, but I can honestly say I loved her.

The last week she was alive her husband and I e-mailed back and forth because I had to fill in for her for some things. I "talked" to him a few days before she died, and I had been to see her in the hospital shortly before that. I never thought she wouldn't get better. Someone else she worked with e-mailed me right after she died.

I immediately e-mailed her husband and poured my heart out about how much she meant to me. He responded right away with some kind words of his own. Both DH and I are going to visitation and her memorial service. 

Because of the e-mail I wrote - where I pretty much said everything - do you think I should also send a card to her husband? TIA for your help! 

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I don't think a card is necessary since - as you said - you already pretty much said what you wanted to say in writing.  In this situation, I think I might make a donation in her name to a charity that was meaningful to her.  Her husband will receive a card informing him of the donation, and I think that would be another nice expression of sympathy from you.

I am sorry for your loss.  It's hard to lose a friend.  

[Janicecp]

I say yes. He's probably super overwhelmed now, and after a death, memories can be blurry. A card is tangible. You don't have to repeat everything; hit the highlights/ summarize. 

Condolences,

Janice

[Mersha]

It would be nice to send a card in a few weeks when things are a bit settled.  That can be a very lonely time for someone that has lost a loved one.

I would just write "just wanted you to know we are thinking of you."

That would be most appreciated.

[Booksamillion]

I would send a card too. Little things can mean so much.

[speedy girl]

I would for sure send a card. You had deep feelings for her and I'm sure hearing from you would mean a lot to him. Plus if there is family, he will likely share the cards with them and I'm sure they would appreciate your kind words about their loved one. 

[Kitlynn]

I think sending a card is a very nice thing to do. It is so much better than an email. When things are over and done with it is nice to be able to look at something physically that someone took the time to send. When you get so many messages and phone calls it all sort of blurs together but the cards remind you of who said what. They can also be shared with other family members.

[Catty2]

I think a card would mean a lot to her DH.  Sorry for your loss. 

[libbyannE]

Yes, definitely send a card with a brief note.