This does not have to do with any abuse issues. I took my daughter and son in law to lunch yesterday and we were having a discussion about my children never leaning on me for money.
I said true, they were raised by a single mom who worked three jobs. On the same token, I have never asked for anything either. Son in law then said, how long did, and he mentioned my middle son, live with you? I answered, until his late twenties, but Italian families do this. When my Dad was single, he lived with his mom until she died. Plus my son paid half of everything, no free ride, and he was attending college, so it was less expensive than living on his own. He also took care of repairs around the house, he paid his way.
We spoke about some of the grandkids that didn't have to do anything, no chores and today they cannot hold a job or responsible about anything. I said, kids need responsibilty and as a single mom they had to help.
The discussion got around to lunches and dinners and I said, no one ever pays for me, I always pay my own way when I go out with family. It had nothing to do with me paying for them today, I was paying him back for what I don't know. He likes to press my buttons and thinks I have money and should take them to lunch. My daughter very quiet around him. He said your kids, should not have to pay for your lunch when and if you go out, you should pay for theirs. Wow, I never expect mine to pay, but it would be nice. My kids are in their late 40's and early 50's. I pay my own way and they pay theirs if I don't. I have one son who lets me pay and has never said, I'll buy your lunch for you. I have never even gotten a cup of coffee from him. I think it's nice when one of your children take you to lunch just because, don't you? I have friends who children take them to lunch or a movie.
This is a small thing, but it bothered me, and I got caught in his trap again.They said I'm too intense in discussing matters. Everytime I give an example of something that is a fact, I'm too intense. Anyway, I felt horrible after lunch. He even told me what kind of tip to leave, and I'm not stupid on tipping. The server kept smiling at him, thinking he was the one leaving the tip. What a surprise she got. I left more than 20%, although that is what I would have left. She wasn't worth it, but he has called me cheap once and I'm not.
He said he left his wallet home, and I said I was paying for everything, but why are you driving without your license, you were a cop once? This man is a bully. When we got to my home, he said get rid of your Charlie Brown trees, your yard looks ugly. Now, my charlie brown trees are the rose trees I have pruned, and I have gotten so many compliements from neighbors on my yard. I work hard out there.
What do you think of this whole thing I went through yesterday? Please don't slam me, be kind, I feel bad enough already and if you read my other post, you know I'm not a weak person. I can't seem to do anything nice for this family.
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