Reply
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,972
Registered: ‎04-19-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

It can get endless with the gifts if you work in a large company. I was invited to a gift gathering nearly every week. I realized quickly that many people just skipped them.

 

Registries are helpful but I don’t like it if they are shoved down your throat. I was invited to a wedding shower and was told on the invite which room I was to shop for, in this instance, the patio, and given the list of available gifts from which to choose. All were over my budget. I certainly didn’t feel like a guest, more like a fulfillment center.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,951
Registered: ‎08-13-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

I look to see what stores are on the resister then just buy a gift card for that store.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

I buy what I can afford, and I don't care for registries.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,837
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.


@CelticCrafterwrote:

You don't have to pick something from the registry.

 

 


Yes, you're absolutely correct.  Of course buying a gift from the registry is not required.  It's more a wishlist.  Many people find it very useful when they have no idea what to give.  I often use registries as a guideline so I can get a sense of the couple's taste, what colors they're using in their bathroom, etc.  Or I might give a gift card to the store they've chosen.

 

It's not mandatory to buy something from a registry.  I go to a lot of weddings, and sometimes I buy off the registry and sometimes I don't.  Most registries include gifts in all price ranges - I've never seen one that didn't.  A registry isn't designed to stress anyone out - The intent is to be helpful.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,837
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.


@Sunshine45wrote:

 

 

i think it is easier to purchase from the registry, but no one is forced to do that. if you care about or love the person why wouldnt you want to go and help her celebrate a new life?


 

This has been my question on these forums for a long time.  So many posters seem to get bent out of shape when they receive invitations to events.  Apparently it starts a whole cycle of aggravation and ill will that I just don't understand.

 

I'm happy to be invited, and I'm happy to share in the joy of family and friends at special occasions. I don't suspect ulterior motives and I don't feel put upon or taken advantage of or angry or judgmental.   If for some reason I had no interest in the people or the event, I would simply send my regrets and not attend.  All of this angst is simply beyond my understanding.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,837
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.


@MJ12wrote:

@JBKOwrote:

This is what a former coworker once said. She was referring to parties such as weddings, baby showers, birthdays, houswarmings, etcs? At first I thought that was kind of a bad attitude to have, but now I'm totally with her! With all these gift registries asking for expensive gifts ($500 stroller??), I'm really not looking forward to all these parties I'm invited to. Sometimes I wish I could just bring my own gift that I didn't necessarily find on a registry.What is  your feeling?


I think it is a bad attitude; I'm always happy to be invited and share in someone's party/day/event etc. 


 

I'm so happy to see this!  I was starting to think it was just me.  :-)

 

And yes, I agree that it's a bad attitude.  Honestly, I feel that if anyone doesn't want to attend, then please don't!   No one wants that kind of negative energy spoiling their big day. I certainly wouldn't want anyone at my special occasions who didn't want to be there.  Don't attend.  Problem solved.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,837
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.


@RoughDraftwrote:

I like the idea of registries.  They give me a starting point for what to look for.  No where does it say it is mandatory to choose the most expensive item on the list, but it gives one an idea of what the recipient needs/wants and I've seen the costs range from nominal to expensive.  Expensive gifts can be purchased by people who want to "go in" with others so it's affordable and close relatives usually purchase the more expensive gifts anyway.

 

As for these events getting out of hand, weddings, showers, housewarmings have been around as long as I have.  Don't want to participate...don't!


 

Perfect post!

 

And you bring up a good point about group gifts.  When a co-worker got married, a few of us got together and chose something from the higher end of her registry.  And when  I got married, I didn't have a registry, but several family members chipped in and bought us a full set of the china I had planned to collect piece by piece.  So it's the same kind of idea, and an excellent way to use a registry to give someone something you know they will appreciate.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,775
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.


@NYC Susanwrote:

@Sunshine45wrote:

 

 

i think it is easier to purchase from the registry, but no one is forced to do that. if you care about or love the person why wouldnt you want to go and help her celebrate a new life?


 

This has been my question on these forums for a long time.  So many posters seem to get bent out of shape when they receive invitations to events.  Apparently it starts a whole cycle of aggravation and ill will that I just don't understand.

 

I'm happy to be invited, and I'm happy to share in the joy of family and friends at special occasions. I don't suspect ulterior motives and I don't feel put upon or taken advantage of or angry or judgmental.   If for some reason I had no interest in the people or the event, I would simply send my regrets and not attend.  All of this angst is simply beyond my understanding.


I worked for a company that mostly employed women.  Almost every month there was some kinda party going on at work.  There were birthdays, showers for weddings and babies on the way, along with sprinkles. 

 

The parties even went as far to include grandma ahowers.

 

It isn’t always family and friends...it’s co-workers too.  I finally stopped participating in everything...oh, you were requested to bring food too.

 

Some people got upset with me, but I worked to make money and not spend it on people I know from work. 

 

You have to draw the line somewhere and be prepared to take heat for your decision.  Some people just can’t draw that line.  They complain, but are afraid if the heat, so they give in.  It can be a hostile environment if you are not a team social player at work.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,837
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.


@CARMIEwrote:

@NYC Susanwrote:

@Sunshine45wrote:

 

 

i think it is easier to purchase from the registry, but no one is forced to do that. if you care about or love the person why wouldnt you want to go and help her celebrate a new life?


 

This has been my question on these forums for a long time.  So many posters seem to get bent out of shape when they receive invitations to events.  Apparently it starts a whole cycle of aggravation and ill will that I just don't understand.

 

I'm happy to be invited, and I'm happy to share in the joy of family and friends at special occasions. I don't suspect ulterior motives and I don't feel put upon or taken advantage of or angry or judgmental.   If for some reason I had no interest in the people or the event, I would simply send my regrets and not attend.  All of this angst is simply beyond my understanding.


I worked for a company that mostly employed women.  Almost every month there was some kinda party going on at work.  There were birthdays, showers for weddings and babies on the way, along with sprinkles. 

 

The parties even went as far to include grandma ahowers.

 

It isn’t always family and friends...it’s co-workers too.  I finally stopped participating in everything...oh, you were requested to bring food too.

 

Some people got upset with me, but I worked to make money and not spend it on people I know from work. 

 

You have to draw the line somewhere and be prepared to take heat for your decision.  Some people just can’t draw that line.  They complain, but are afraid if the heat, so they give in.  It can be a hostile environment if you are not a team social player at work.


 

Yes, of course.  

 

I work in television - a VERY social environment - but if I don't know someone well or can't attend or don't want to - I don't.  It's not possible for everyone to attend everything, and if that's not understood, well then that's too bad.  

 

I'm like you - I choose how I spend my money, and although I have always had co-workers who are also friends, there are also co-workers who I have no personal relationship with.  I don't feel obligated to attend their events or give gifts, and I don't feel or act resentful about it.

 

I completely agree that a line has to be drawn somewhere.  My point, really, was that this doesn't need to be so complicated or negative.  Go if you want to attend, send regrets if you don't.  (And I was primarily thinking of friends and family, not work-related events, which is a whole other thing.)

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,951
Registered: ‎08-13-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

Oh get the register, vera lang yes 1 bath towel is $25 oh yes well wrote out a check hope you got a few of your vera wang towels. never in my life would I ever spend $25 for a towel but seems she wanted it. Good luck. Young & stupid also enjoy.