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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,034
Registered: ‎12-16-2011

She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

This is what a former coworker once said. She was referring to parties such as weddings, baby showers, birthdays, houswarmings, etcs? At first I thought that was kind of a bad attitude to have, but now I'm totally with her! With all these gift registries asking for expensive gifts ($500 stroller??), I'm really not looking forward to all these parties I'm invited to. Sometimes I wish I could just bring my own gift that I didn't necessarily find on a registry.What is  your feeling?

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,210
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

You don't have to pick something from the registry.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 36,284
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

any of the showers i have been to have a wide range of items that the mother to be and baby need. everything from a $2 pacifier to an expensive piece of furniture. if i wanted to buy something more expensive, a few of us would go in together to purchase it. otherwise i would purchase something that was in my price range.

 

dont forget.......diapers and gift cards always make a nice gift. the baby needs countless diapers in every size and a gift card would allow the mother to be to purchase what she needed or put it towards a more expensive priced item.

 

i think it is easier to purchase from the registry, but no one is forced to do that. if you care about or love the person why wouldnt you want to go and help her celebrate a new life?

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,959
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

@JBKO, you do not have to give anything from a registry.   If you feel the need to buy a gift, why not a gift certificate to a restaurant or something like that.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,341
Registered: ‎04-19-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.


@JBKOwrote:

Sometimes I wish I could just bring my own gift that I didn't necessarily find on a registry.What is  your feeling?


Where did you get the idea you had to buy from the registry?  It's a request, a suggestion, a recommendation; not a mandate.  Do what you want.


-- pro-aging --


Rochester, New York
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,106
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

I dont blame you at all.  I think weddings, showers, birthdays and housewarming has gotten out of hand.  You decide if you want to attend and buy a gift for any  that you have been invited to.  If you decide not to attend andnot  buy gifts for any of them you dont owe any explanations.  If someone is crass enough to ask tell them you can not afford to buy for everyone so you dont buy for any.  If you want and do attend them you give what you are comfortable with.  Set a limit within your budget.

Fear Is Incomplete Knowledge---Agatha Christie
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,298
Registered: ‎05-09-2014

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

I bring orvsend a gift I can afford and think will be useful or attractive to the recipient(s). When in doubt about an actual object to buy,  I put an amount affordable to me in an envelope (cash or check) with a card of appropriate sentiment for the occasion.

 

There is nothing compulsory about someone’s registry. Don’t  misinterpret their right to have favorite ideas of gifts they want with your obligation to buy such gifts. They can have dreams and hopes of registry fulfillment, but you are only obliged to give with a good heart and attend if it would be meaningful. And yes, the recipient is obligated to say/write a thank you to you in a reasonable time and to dispose of or use your gift any way they want. 

 

Etiquette is the art of balancing feelings, good manners, common sense, and fiscal practicalities. Bring your own gift. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,269
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

You don't have to choose a gift from a registry; you can choose your own gift.  You don't have to go to any gift giving party if you choose not to either.  It doesn't mean you don't care for the recipient or wish them well.  The gift giving trend has gotten out of control.  I've cut back on the showers that I get invited to because, at my age, the showers are for my friend's children and while I knew the kids when they were young....I don't know them now.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,463
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.


@JBKOwrote:

This is what a former coworker once said. She was referring to parties such as weddings, baby showers, birthdays, houswarmings, etcs? At first I thought that was kind of a bad attitude to have, but now I'm totally with her! With all these gift registries asking for expensive gifts ($500 stroller??), I'm really not looking forward to all these parties I'm invited to. Sometimes I wish I could just bring my own gift that I didn't necessarily find on a registry.What is  your feeling?


I think it is a bad attitude; I'm always happy to be invited and share in someone's party/day/event etc. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,063
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: She doesn't like to go if she has to buy a Gift.

I like the idea of registries.  They give me a starting point for what to look for.  No where does it say it is mandatory to choose the most expensive item on the list, but it gives one an idea of what the recipient needs/wants and I've seen the costs range from nominal to expensive.  Expensive gifts can be purchased by people who want to "go in" with others so it's affordable and close relatives usually purchase the more expensive gifts anyway.

 

As for these events getting out of hand, weddings, showers, housewarmings have been around as long as I have.  Don't want to participate...don't!

~The only difference between this place and the Titanic is that the Titanic had a band.~