@Mominohio wrote:
In my opinion, a gift is just that, it's a gift. It isn't a request or a requirement and it should have no strings attached to it, from either the giver or the receiver.
We don't run in a circle or have family that we get invited to a lot of giftable occasions. Maybe one or two a year, and sometimes several years pass with none.
I tend to do what I want for gifting. What I don't do is give more than I feel is appropriate for the relationship or more than what I can afford for such things.
My personal opinion is that if I can use the registries to get them something they really want because they have chosen it, I will do that most of the time, as I don't want to waste my money giving something they don't like, don't need, won't use.
Once in a while I do believe I 'know better' than them about something they will love, but haven't asked for. This doesn't happen often, but one example is the baby showers of my cousin's expecting sons a couple of years ago.
Both couples were young, first babies, and all expecting parents were still living at home, or just getting their first place.
They were registered for so much infant clothing, and the grandparents to be were furnishing all the 'big stuff', like furniture, car seats, strollers etc.
I got really cute lined baskets, and filled them with 30 new children's books, from cloth style for infants, up to picture books for later, and everything in between.
On the day of the shower, the girls unwrapped so many clothes, there is no way they would ever all be used. There were tons of blankets, infant toys etc., but I was the only one that bought books.
The gifts were well received, and having been a new mom only 18 years before them, I remember how quickly they outgrew anything infant, but books were used for years and years.
And when all else fails, money is a great gift for most occasions like this, as people can pool the money from various guests, and purchase something big they really need or want.
But I too get tired sometimes of invites to things that require money be spent for gifts. When it gets to be too much, we simply decline invitations we feel aren't really necessary for us to accept and move on.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What she said! I give a gift because I want to from my heart. If I found that I resented giving a gift, I simply would express my regrets and not attend the celebration. Who needs an atmosphere of resentment, judgement and stinginess at a joyous celebration?
'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown
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