Community Chat

[beach-mom]

Someone in our congregation gave a young mother my personal phone number, which is not supposed to happen.

Mid morning I got a call from the person who got my number, saying she had no food or baby formula, diapers, etc. Wanting to help, I told her we would try to help with some food, but we are not a food pantry. We do work with a few, and we collect food for them, so we have some food on hand. 

 I told her I would meet her at the church and help her get some things, then help her get to a pantry where they have baby products. She said she lived an hour away and doesn't have a car. She had just returned home from the doctor's office and her two youngest children are sick. She didn't know what to do, and no one could help her. 

I told her I would research churches in her area and call her back. THEN she asked if I could electronically send some gift cards for Target and Walmart since she could walk to those. 

As much as I didn't want to believe it, I realized things didn't seem right. When a man answered, saying she wasn't in but he would give her the message, I was pretty sure.

 I blocked the number, but DD said they might have been able to get more information. The only information I gave her was my first name. 

I don't think it's easy to trace cell phone numbers, but do you think I need to take any more action after blocking the number? TIA! 

[Bella8888]

@beach-mom 

The first thing I would do is to warn the rest of your congregation that this happened.  They could be targets also.  Then talk with the person who gave the scammer your number; how are they involved?  Did they get duped?

Then I'd keep an eye on your financial accounts, etc., perhaps inform your bank. 

Beyond that, perhaps others have suggestions.  Contact Police?  

[beach-mom]

Thanks for the advice @Bella8888. The person who gave my number is just another congregation member, who I'm pretty sure didn't realize what she was doing! She received a DM on Facebook, which I don't have. 

We will make sure no personal numbers are given out without that person's permission. 

[Bella8888]

Good luck @beach-mom. 

PSA: Whenever someone asks me for someone else's contact info, I ask them for their info and pass it on so that person can make their own decision to respond or not.

[Tori3569]

I think you're ok @beach-mom .  As far as I can see you avoided a potential scam by not sending the gift cards.  You caught on pretty quickly.  Blocking the number was the best thing you could have done too. 

There's really nothing much that can be ascertained by your cell and first name.  Trying to reverse lookup a cell number isn't very easy to do.  You can try it yourself.  I've tried it on mine and just get the city where my phone was purchased.

Best of luck with this.   

[FancyPhillyshopper]

How are you sure this is a scam?

What is your role in providing food and other supports for impoverished people?

How many people in your congregation have your number?

Have you helped other people who have personally contacted you?

Did you know who this "young mother" was?

Just because this woman asked for the gift cards does not mean she is scamming you--rather, she is looking for an easy handout.  Perhaps she wants to buy food and/or toys and/or medicine for her children in those stores.

I know many people are desperate, but others are lazy, and even others, greedy. 

I wanted to give gifts for the USPS Letters to Santa a while back, and when I investigated, I discovered that USPS does NOT monitor who writes a letter (rich or poor), and people were asking for $1300.00 I-Phones as gifts. Forget that--I give to the Salvation Army instead, as they take a personal approach to who they help.

I think that in the future you need to remove yourself from direct response to giving if you do not want to be constantly and personally bothered.  

if all she has is your name and phone number, there is not really much she can do to you.  Perhaps you just should not answer the phone unless you recognize the number--true for landlines or cell phones.

There was no crime committed, so no need for police.

If you know who gave her your number, you should advise that person that you do not respond or assist on a personal basis--everything has to go through the "congregation." And then set up a congregation phone number for that purpose if you are going to continue to help people, because obviously the word is out that you take on that role.  

[Janey2]

I do not understand...do you know for a fact that the person in your congregation gave your phone number to this young mother? If you are not sure go and ask. Ask this congregation member if she knows this mother who says she needs help. She should be able to help you figure out if it is a scam or not. Maybe you both got scammed. 

[elated]

@beach-mom  First, the member of your congregation that gave out your personal phone number was wrong. She or he should have asked beforehand. In today's environment, you just never know about a person's character.

The other red flag for scams is asking for gift cards. Somehow or someway this young mother thought you were a good target because of your affiliation. I would put an alert on your bank accounts and credit cards.

I would just be cautious in the near future. I wonder if that young mother will reappear in your congregation, if she does I would speak with her. I would bet you never see her again but time will tell. Take care.

[Ainhisg]

@beach-mom you're fine.  All the woman/man had was your cell phone number, and you blocked him/her, so no worries. If you know the congregant well, you might caution him/her about answering DM's on FB from people he/she doesn't know or doesn't know well.  

[Cats3000]

@FancyPhillyshopper In today's world, you assume it is a scam.  If you don't recognize the name or phone number, you don't answer the call.  If you do recognize the name or phone number, but the call starts down the road as this one did, you end the call; hang up and don't get into discussions.  You have to protect yourself and your family.  You are not a charity and you can't become a charity, the consequences are too negative.