Community Chat

[CAMOGIRL]

It is your home, just say no. A few hours is one thing, overnight is an imposition and overstaying your welcome.

Or if you are really not comfortable with that - just say "do you want to get together for a couple of hours... I have something I need to take care of later..." or something to that effect.

[pegsue]

That takes a lot of nerve to ask-I could/would never even think to ask even a closest friend or relative to stay at their house.  It makes me wonder if they have the nerve to ask you that what other expectations they would have from you if they stayed.  Nope, you did the right thing.

As a side note-years ago DH had a cousin who lives 2 hours away was wanting to go to a concert with some friends in our area but didn't want to drive home after it and wanted to come the day of and stay overnight.  Had to say no as well-we had 2 small children and we knew he was into drugs and so were the people he was coming with. And he had no job but could always find a way to get $$ for what he "needed".  Well fast forward a few short months after that he was arrested and spent time in prison for making and distributing meth......SO DON'T FEEL GUILTY!

[Cakers3]

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@alicedee wrote:

I've never had anyone ask to stay for a week....but in  the circumstances you describe, my answer would be so sorry, but that won't work.  And NOT get sucked into the "Why not?" discussion.   "I've got things going on" would be the extent of my explanation, then a subject change or end of conversation.  

No guilt!!

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@alicedee  Absolutely,  Especially what I put in bold. 

[Retiredonthebeach]

Oh please be careful. I've been hearing horror story's about "overnighters"

They come in and will never leave, If that is their intention, and there's nothing you can do about It. It could cost you your home, and break your pocketbook trying to remove them. I watched a true story movie, and read about It often in the news. I refuse to let anyone stay one night. all they have to do is claim they live here. not going to happen. Just wanted to mention this. hope you said no.

[DottieBlue]

DO NOT feel guilty that you said no.  The man sounds like a bum and once you let them into your home, they probably wouldn't leave!  It's obvious he's using drugs, you do not want that in your home.

I feel sorry for the kids, but they are not your responsibility.  Unless you know for a fact they are being abused or something, then I think it is our responsibility to notify the authorities.

You did the right thing, IMO.

[Hayfield]

You did the right thing.  You have to know the laws in the state where you live but if you invite someone into your home you may very well get stuck with them.  I found this out from a neighbor who "invited" someone into their home, out of the kindness of their hearts and then couldn't get them to leave.  They have to leave of their own wishes and if they don't want to leave, they don't.  The person my neighbor invited in was someone, well, who should not have been invited in, a drug user.  It was a mess but he finally left.  

[Vivian]

Even the most wonderful family of four at a relative's home is too much, and inviting themselves is just plain wrong. And given the background of the cousin-in-law, I wouldn't want him in my home for a minute!

[elizabethl123]

WHAT NERVE    GOOD FOR YOU NOT LETTING THEM STAY WITH YOU  

[Danky]

I have a triple whammy.....I have a very large house 20 miles outside of NYC, a very large house on the ocean in RI and a ski house in NH. 

Everyone thinks that they are entitled to use them on demand especially since I live alone.....My rules are very simple....Don't ask ; the answer is always no. No explanation will ever be given. Unless you are invited, don't show up even for an hour.

The obvious exceptions are my children...

[SeaMaiden]

No matter my sister  or any family member,.... or the Happy Faced Killer.... no one is going to stay at my home over night... not for a day or a week( SERIOUSLY???) Get a hotel or motel room if you really want to visit me. I will reciprocate the  respect.