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07-21-2017 09:02 AM
I live in a Resort Area so I do have friends and family here in the summer almost non stop...and yes it does get to be too much at times....BUT I too would have said no to them.
I would never feel comfortable with someone with his background staying in my home.
If you are not close to them there is no reason for them to stay with you. IMO
Just curious....do you live in a resort/vacation area? or are they just looking for a place to stay and vacation other than their own home?
07-21-2017 09:05 AM
Anyone else have to turn down a request for a week long stay at your house?
My cousin is married with 2 young children. They asked if they could stay for a week
at my house. I said no, sorry.
Her husband is an ex con who she hardly knew before she got pregant. He has been fired from 3 jobs in 3 months this year. He failed a drug test each time.
I don't think it's a good idea that he stay here. Plus I don't want to cook/clean/supply linens and various other things you do when you have house guests. Plus they aren't that close to me.
I have slight guilt about it but the adult in me says if you go on vacation you should have money to pay for a hotel along with all the other things that come with it.
Oh my goodness, you should have ZERO guilt. It's your house and I agree, anyone who can't afford to pay for their whole vacation should stay home. End of discussion! These people sound like real losers.
07-21-2017 09:06 AM
I would never invite myself to stay at someones home.
I wouldn't want them to feel as though that they had to host me, and besides, I prefer the seclusion and privacy that a hotel room provides.
The ONLY time that I did stay at a friend's home, I kept my visit to two full days, and I brought a house-warming gift to my friend, and books for her kids.
I picked up after myself, helped with the chores, and with anything else that I could do. Whatever she wanted to serve for a meal was perfectly fine with me.
In other words, I tried to be the perfect house guest.
07-21-2017 09:06 AM
Being stuck with the breakfast dishes with egg yolk - while the family of 4 says 'thanks' and goes off to the beach - was enough for me...........plus chasing their 2 year old who kept playing with my computer while the parents ..watched and did nothng.
There's a reason why motels were built.
07-21-2017 09:07 AM
There is a major huge mall near me and I'm in a large metro area. There are other relatives too. Her parents are coming here but bringing a motor home and staying in a camp ground. They didn't invite her to stay with them......
I would adore having house guests, such as my children or siblings. I would want to be the one who invited them to stay however.
07-21-2017 09:13 AM - edited 07-23-2017 10:33 AM
I would never feel guilty about saying no to someone who extended an invitation to themselves to stay in my home. I wouldn't feel guilty about saying no even if the people were in the category of closest relatives. I realize some people love having houseguests, but it's not my thing. It's not that I'm against visiting with out-of-towners, I just don't want them sleeping in my home. Over the years, I've even gone so far as to help out with hotel room costs (if it made the difference in someone I truly like being able to visit). I will make exceptions if visitors get stuck at the airport due to weather related flight cancellations and things of that nature. Otherwise there are only about 5 people in the entire world who can put their head on a pillow here. Being the odd gal that I am, I honestly don't mind children and dogs. It's the adults who work my nerves after a day or two.
07-21-2017 09:15 AM
@Petepetey, you absolutely did the right thing. I would never invite myself to someone's home for a vacation, but I have had family members do it. However, if any of them had a drug problem, the answer would have been the same as yours. Think of the repercussions if he used them in your home or if he was arrested. In some places, you could lose your home. I would also be afraid that they might not leave. The older that I get, the more I take care of myself first.
07-21-2017 09:23 AM
Why feel guilty? If your cousin had the nerve to invite herself then no is appropriate! I would have first explained to her that you do not want guests to have to provide for - especially with a husband who continually doesn't pass a drug tests as well as 2 (probably unruly) young children. I would provide her with places she can pay to rent while she's there.
I am a private person and my home is my refuge from everyone and I would never have anyone stay at my home nor would I ever intrude on anyone else's home.
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