Community Chat

[Cakers3]

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@monicakm wrote:

@Effie54 

It's an uneasy feeling when someone you've come to know and like disappears with no warning.  Of course they don't owe us an explanation.  There have been conversations about letting the group know if you need to leave forever or for a season.  But that can also backfire.  I wrote that I would be absent and was told this isn't an airport, no need to announce your departure.  Oh well.  Someone will always find an excuse to be snarky.

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@monicakm  I remember the airport remark. Very uncalled for especially with the medical issues faced by your DH and by you.

Then when you posted on the Beauty forum it was brought up again here.

I very rarely respond to certain posters anymore and some not at all. I find it amusing being called a scold while being scolded. 🤣

If you defend yourself you are slammed.

If you do not respond the poster will puff up and brag you have been put in your place.

The junior high antics are not for me. So I ignore.

You just carry on and do what is good for you. I may question but because I may not understand something.

It's true, though. These "where is so and so" always turn sour.

[Cakers3]

And family is always off limits. Those who slam the family members of posters show just how shallow they are. 

[Cakers3]

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@tansy wrote:

The poster routinely uses the same phrases over and over.  I assume that she does not type those everytime but has them in a memory of some kind.  I did that when I was a medical transcriptionist.  I think that's what @Bri369 was referring to @Cakers3.

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@tansy That worked for you but it doesn't mean that is it what was meant by her. That's all I'm going to say about her.

No right fighting here. Just personal experience and definitely not speculation.

[Lakelife62]

Sandy never says a mean thing to or about anyone. I appreciate her kind and welcoming posting style.

Maybe she got sick of the negativity or the not so subtle digs at her and wanted to retreat for a bit. Many here can relate to that.

I hope she is well and will return when/if she is ready.

[Effie54]

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@monicakm wrote:

@Effie54 

It's an uneasy feeling when someone you've come to know and like disappears with no warning.  Of course they don't owe us an explanation.  There have been conversations about letting the group know if you need to leave forever or for a season.  But that can also backfire.  I wrote that I would be absent and was told this isn't an airport, no need to announce your departure.  Oh well.  Someone will always find an excuse to be snarky.

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@monicakm  You're absolutely correct! First, I enjoy the ladies on the forum greatly, and I do miss their posts when they leave. And true, none of us know why posters stop posting. Sometimes I think it's because there are some on here that can come across as rude and invalidating. I felt so bad when some of the posters were rude to you when you felt you needed a break from the forums. Unkind words are not necessary. I enjoy your posts greatly and I hope you're on here for a long time to come. 

[tansy]

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@Lakelife62 wrote:

Sandy never says a mean thing to or about anyone. I appreciate her kind and welcoming posting style.

Maybe she got sick of the negativity or the not so subtle digs at her and wanted to retreat for a bit. Many here can relate to that.

I hope she is well and will return when/if she is ready.

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Not quite true, @Lakelife62 🥹

[DREAMON]

Her threads  from 10/25/2024 and 11/2/2024 explain what is going on. 

Titles are -

Chronic Illness and the Toll It Takes On Us and Struggling To Keep Up.

I wish her well.

[ciao_bella]

Why do some people tend to always find something negative to say?  Here's the professional/clinical reasoning behind it.  An informative read.  

People often focus on the negative for several psychological and social reasons:

1. Negativity Bias: Humans have an inherent tendency to pay more attention to negative experiences than positive ones. This bias is thought to be evolutionary, as being alert to potential threats was crucial for survival.
2. Social Comparison: Some individuals may express negativity as a way to compare themselves to others. By highlighting flaws or shortcomings, they might feel better about their own situation.
3. Coping Mechanism: For some, focusing on the negative can be a way to cope with their own insecurities or frustrations. It can be easier to criticize others than to confront personal issues.
4. Cultural Influences: In some cultures or communities, negativity can be a common form of humor or communication. People might feel that being critical is a way to bond or engage in conversation.
5. Attention-Seeking: Negative comments can attract attention. Some individuals might feel that being critical or controversial makes them stand out in conversations.
6. Fear of Disappointment: Anticipating negative outcomes can be a defense mechanism. By expressing negativity, people might feel they are preparing themselves for the worst.
7. Confirmation Bias: Once someone has a negative perspective, they may seek out information or experiences that confirm that viewpoint, reinforcing their tendency to focus on the negative.

[Sapphiregal]

As she said, she is probably just taking a little break and getting a kick out of being the "topic" of conversation! 😄😄

[shoekitty]

@ciao_bella  The post on negativity was right on. Thank you ! I also think fear, fear of unknown, fear of things changing,fear of our surroundings changing. It can happen to us all at one time or another. Finding a balance in life can be a struggle. Some people are born into it, others struggle. 

i enjoy Sandy, I know she was struggling herself,  I hope she's just disconnected from her internet, as she always had problems with it.  And not dealing with her struggles.  If she is, May she read the posts of her friends and know we do miss jer