Community Chat

[amyb]

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@MyShadowLove wrote:

@Jordan2 ...

A quote from a lovely small grief therapy book that I came across several years ago...

"There may always be a small place within your heart that remains hollow...Value it...A quiet abiding emptiness can be God's way of sustaining your connection to your loved one."

Use it as a sacred place where you can visit with and have conversations with your Dear Mom and  pour out your feelings...and live your life in her memory.

(((((Hugs))))) 

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@MyShadowLove That's beautiful...I love that. Thanks for sharing.

[CalminHeart]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Mom died 5 years ago Thanksgiving. I talk to her all the time. Words can't describe how much I miss her.

My son is a MSW+ therapist who is also certified in EMDR and recommended I go to to a therapist certified in it.

EMDR changed my life! It was occasionally uncomfortable but I'm so glad I did it. I learned so many tools and still use them when stressed and worried.

Get some counseling from an EMDR therapist. You won't be sorry.

[SeaMaiden]

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@Jordan2 wrote:

Today would have been my mother's 95th birthday, January 31 will be 4 years since she passed. I don't cry everyday and can speak of her without crying, but I feel like I'm only treading water keeping afloat and should be further along in my grief. They say time heals all wounds, in the short term it's true, but in the long run the hole in your heart can never be filled you carry it with you. So I will think of my mother today, I may even shed a tear or two. Happy Birthday mom, I miss you. 

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@Jordan2  You had a beautiful relationship with your Mother.   I missed out on that.

Know that  you were so fortunate to have such a  loving relationship and rejoice in that.

Try not to call your sweet Mum's passing a wound or a hole in your heart...Rather think of her caring, her kindness and know where she is now where there is great joy, abundant life and peaceful rest.  

And know someday you will be United again. 

A shift in your preceptions is all...serenity of mind body, spirt❤️

[San Antonio Gal]

So sorry for your loss @Jordan2.  I loss my mom in 2005 and I still dream about her to this day.  Take care today.   

[Jordan2]

Thanks so much to everyone here, I can always count on you to offer advice and some kind words. I know how blessed I was to have had such a wonderful mother. 

[jubilant]

@Jordan2   I said a prayer for you today.  I lost my mom a year ago at Christmas time. She was 92.  I'm trying to concentrate on the fact that she lived a lovely long life. While I do cry for what I and my siblings have lost and miss, I believe she is in a better place now...with Dad...and happy and that seems to help me. 

[vermint]

@Jordan2 My mom died 14 years ago, at 76, and for the first several years the hardest days for me were her birthday, and mine. We always talked on the phone on those days, even though the "official" celebration usually waited for the weekend. For her birthday, she always wanted to go out for Mexican food, on my birthday she always cooked my favorite fried chicken. Even when the grief had eased somewhat, it was years before I stopped thinking "I need to call Mama today", on her birthday--or waiting for the phone to ring on mine.

I'm sorry you're sad today, just know that a lot of us have been where you are...and it does get better over time. Slowly, sure, but it does!

[Another new name Sue]

Sometimes we don't want to let go of grief because it's the last connection we have with a departed loved one. Accept your grief, keep the good memories close at heart and carry on. I understand, I am still grieving a loss two years ago. 

[Greeneyedlady21]

Grief takes its own individual path, you have to allow yourself that. I do my best to live in the spirit of who my Mom was, it's the highest compliment when people tell me I am like her. She told me I was the best daughter any Mom could ever ask for, I bet your Mom felt that way about you too.

Ask her for help, I ask my Mom

[gidgetgh]

@Jordan2 - I agree with this statement made by Rose Kennedy, regarding grief. I refer to it often.

There is no time timetable and you never get over grief, in my opinion. You just get through it.

I still grieve for my grandparents who died in the 60's and 80's.

I grieve (and still cry sometimes) for my mom and dad who died in 2011 and 2016.

I very much still grieve for my husband who died 2 1/2 years ago.

Just be gentle with yourself.  Again, for me, it's a lifelong process.  It gets easier to handle with time, but it's not like taking an aspirin for a headache and the headache goes away.  Doesn't work that way.