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Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,611
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Sad Couple of Days

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Today would have been my mother's 95th birthday, January 31 will be 3 years since she passed. I don't cry everyday and can speak of her without crying, but I feel like I'm only treading water keeping afloat and should be further along in my grief. They say time heals all wounds, in the short term it's true, but in the long run the hole in your heart can never be filled you carry it with you. So I will think of my mother today, I may even shed a tear or two. Happy Birthday mom, I miss you. 

Regular Contributor
Posts: 216
Registered: ‎10-03-2021

@Jordan2 I know your heart is broken and I wish there was something I could say to make the pain go away.  I lost my mom last year and every day is challenge for me, every day.  I'm sorry.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,165
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2 , sending happy thoughts to you on this day. Grief is highly personal and I think you should give yourself time to heal in your own way on your own terms. My mother lived to be only 73, my age later this year, and passed in 1996. I still have days where I miss her so much that I can feel physical pain. They never teach us to live without them, how blessed you were to have had her for so long.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,692
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Of course you miss her, but she had a long life ,many do not.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,124
Registered: ‎04-05-2010

@Jordan2 Sending a heartfelt, virtual hug.

Everything the others have said is how I feel too. Lost my mom in 2020, and it was due to the virus, and so all that went along with not being able to be there. She was a vibrant, 91, a few mos. from 92. I too feel so blessed I had her as long as I did. I think the whole Covid thing just came out of left field and was devastating in a totally unexpected way. But even at 90 something...we'll never be ready to lose our parents....and a mom...no one replaces her.

We were extremely close, I'm an only child; she was my mom, best friend, like a sister too. It rocked my world and the world is still off kilter to me, and likely always will be...you learn to live with that new normal. Don't be hard on yourself. As someone else said here...I hear so many people say, decades later, "I miss my mom everyday."

I think an ornament I bought that year says it well..."a piece of my heart lives in heaven." As you say...it's a hole in your heart still.

 

So my heart goes out to you today. I tend to "celebrate" my mom in some ways she loved on her birthday, or go to a restaurant we used to go to; sometimes we celebrate her that way. I bring her flowers etc. You do you...but just sending thoughts to you. ❤️

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,636
Registered: ‎01-05-2015

 

 

 

@Jordan2 ...

 

A quote from a lovely small grief therapy book that I came across several years ago...

 

"There may always be a small place within your heart that remains hollow...Value it...A quiet abiding emptiness can be God's way of sustaining your connection to your loved one."

 

Use it as a sacred place where you can visit with and have conversations with your Dear Mom and  pour out your feelings...and live your life in her memory.

 

Heart (((((Hugs))))) Heart

 

 

 

~~Formerly known as "WildFlowers"~~
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,520
Registered: ‎10-11-2017

Re: Sad Couple of Days

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This year it will be 29 years that my dad passed and 9 years that my mom passed. Miss them both every day and still cry on occassion. Just writing this I am tearing up. I'm sorry you're still struggling, but remember she'll always be in your thoughts and your heart until you meet again.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,104
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Sad Couple of Days

[ Edited ]

I am sorry that you are feeling sad.  Many of us can empathize.  I believe that our parents are with us inside our hearts and in the way that we strive to conduct our lives.  Personally, the older I get, the more I feel closer to my mom and dad, who both have been gone for a long time.  My brother tells me he feels the same way.  I guess, in a way, we are indeed closer to "seeing" our parents as we age.

 



From the City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection

Regular Contributor
Posts: 393
Registered: ‎01-25-2023

I am so very sorry, I extend my deepest condolences on the loss of your mother. Losing a parent is one of the biggest losses that can be suffered by anyone. I hope you are granted peace.

Critter Lover! (especially cats!)
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,658
Registered: ‎03-10-2013

Thinking of you today @Jordan2 and others who will continue to grieve the loss of our mothers no matter of how many years. It's been since 2009 for me.  

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