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11-25-2020 02:49 AM - edited 11-26-2020 01:31 AM
21. The Village Blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The Blacksmith instructed the boy, "When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this anvil.
The apprentice did as he was told, now he's the Village Blacksmith.
22. A hobo knocked on the door of the St. George and the Dragon Lady Inn. The landlord answers. "Could you spare a poor man something to eat?" asked the hobo. "No, yells the woman, slamming the door in his face.
A few minutes later, the hobo knocked again - "Now what do you want?" the woman asks. "Could I have a word with George?" Submitted by
David Mitefo
23. "What does the word "contemplate" mean?" the college student asked his English professor. "Think about it" - the
professor answered. "Ugh" the student groaned, "Can't you just tell me?" Submitted by
Dean Thayer
24. A man is on trial for armed robbery. The jury comes
back with the verdict. The foreman stands, clears his throat and announces, "Not Guilty." the defendant leaps to his feet. "Awesome!" he shouts. "Does that mean I get to keep the money?" Submitted by
Lauren Adelson
25. Two guys are out drinking when one of them falls off his stool and lies motionless on the floor. "One thing about Fred," his buddy says to the bartender. "He knows when to stop."
26. The manager of a jewelry store nabs a shoplifter trying to steal a necklace. "Listen, the crook says, "You don't want any trouble, and neither do I. What do you say I just buy the necklace and we forget this ever happened."
The manager agrees and writes up a sales slip.
"You know, says the crook, "This is more than I want to spend. Got anything less expensive?"
Submitted by
Rosemary Covet
27. Between us snakes...
Snake 1: Are we poisonous?
Snake 2: I don't know, why?
Snake 1: I just bit my lip.
Submitted by
Faith Lackey
28. Something Fishy...
"I think my goldfish is having a seizure," a man tells the
veterinarian. "He seems fine now." says the vet. "Now, sure. But wait until I take him out of the bowl."
29. Q: You're riding a horse at full speed. You're being chased by a lion and there's a giraffe in front of you.
How will you escape this highly dangerous situation?
A: Get off the carousel. Submitted by
Stephanie Finlayson
30. The other day I was thinking, "I must be the most unobservant person in the world." Then I thought, "Well maybe other people are equally unobservant and I just haven't noticed before.
Submitted by D. Norris
To Be Continued
Compiled by Andy Simon
RD.com and Robert Liwang
read by Reader Digest.ca
11-25-2020 06:54 AM
My DH said what are you laughing at so he read these and now he's laughing. Thanks @Lindsays Grandma 🙏❤️☕️
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