SIT BACK, RELAX, HAVE A FEW LAUGHS

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. Mystery of gas station bathrooms. "Why do they lock gas station bathrooms'? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

2. A car hits an elderly man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

3. Sometimes I meet people and feel...sorry for their dog.

4. Gut feelings are guardian angels. Listen to them.

5. Words can't wipe away your tears. Hugs won't ease your pain. But hold onto your memories. Forever they will remain.

6. Not everyone at your workplace is your friend.

Do your job

Get Paid

Go Home

7. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu. You get what you deserve.

8. The photographer was positioning my new husband and me for our wedding photos, when he asked, "Have you ever modeled? My cheeks turned red and I answered, "No, I haven't, but I always thought...The photographer interrupted me, "I mean him."

9. It's amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my co-worker, she said, "You look so gorgeous, I didn't recognize you."

10. I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, "Hey, we're getting along pretty great lately."

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

Foxxee · ‎10-03-2014

Thanks for the chuckles and words of wisdom.

These are my favorites.