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04-21-2020 03:14 AM
1. I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.
2. A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently the bar wasn't set high enough.
3. You know it is going to be a bad day when the letters in your alphabet soup spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.
4. A fire hydrant has H-20 on the inside and K-9 -P on the outside.
5. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
6. Q: What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? A: I don't know and I don't care.
7. Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law? He was given two consecutive sentences.
8. The world tongue twister champion just got arrested. I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
9. I own the world's worst thesaurus. Not only is it awful, it's awful.
10. So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? It's not the end of the world.
11. Correct punctuation: The difference between a sentence that's well written and a sentence that's well-written. (Credit: just love puns.com)
12. What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke, timing.
There are more of these coming later...aren't you glad? Bet you can't wait!!!!
04-21-2020 05:59 AM - edited 04-21-2020 06:05 AM
Both of you two night owls posted your hearts at the exact time this morning, thank you ladies, glad you enjoyed them, watch for more later.
@asppm...I'm adding you, another night owl, you weren't far behind the other two.
04-21-2020 10:50 AM
Another bright spot in my day, thanks @Lindsays Grandma
04-21-2020 11:38 AM
Thanks for this.
I am literally going to die laughing about #2.
04-21-2020 12:34 PM
Thanks for taking the time to post these!!
😆
04-21-2020 06:24 PM
One of my old fav's...You know it's going to be a bad day when you turn on the TV and they are showing escape routes out of the city.
04-23-2020 06:27 AM
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