Reply
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

SILLY JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

 

1.   I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.

 

2.   A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently the bar wasn't set high enough.

 

3.   You know it is going to be a bad day when the letters in your alphabet soup spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.

 

4.   A fire hydrant has H-20 on the inside and K-9 -P on the outside.

 

5.   Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar?  He got 12 months.

 

6.   Q:  What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?  A:  I don't know and I don't care.

 

7.   Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?  He was given two consecutive sentences.

 

8.   The world tongue twister champion just got arrested.  I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

 

9.   I own the world's worst thesaurus.  Not only is it awful, it's awful.

 

10.   So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means?  It's not the end of the world.

 

11.   Correct punctuation:  The difference between a sentence that's well written and a sentence that's well-written.  (Credit: just love puns.com)

 

12.   What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke, timing.

 

 

There are more of these coming later...aren't you glad?  Bet you can't wait!!!!   Woman LOLWoman LOL

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: SILLY JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

[ Edited ]

@Desertdi

@denisemb

 

Both of you two night owls posted your hearts at the exact time this morning, thank you ladies, glad you enjoyed them, watch for more later. Heart

 

@asppm...I'm adding you, another night owl, you weren't far behind the other two.  Woman Happy

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,386
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: SILLY JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

Another bright spot in my day, thanks @Lindsays Grandma 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,213
Registered: ‎03-30-2014

Re: SILLY JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

Thanks for this.

 

I am literally going to die laughing about #2.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 918
Registered: ‎04-21-2010

Re: SILLY JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

Thanks for taking the time to post these!!  

😆 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 559
Registered: ‎05-19-2014

Re: SILLY JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

One of my old fav's...You know it's going to be a bad day when you turn on the TV and they are showing escape routes out of the city. 

Super Contributor
Posts: 321
Registered: ‎09-18-2019

Re: SILLY JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

@Lindsays Grandma 

 

 Thanks for posting this.. I like #3 and #10. Too funny!!